For many, the past weeks and months have been devastating. Depressing, discouraging, enraging. An emboldening of hateful preexisting realities and mentalities pervading this country. For me, over the past many months and over the years of my life, I have felt -- each and every day -- the rising of my heart in the back of my throat. A feeling of dread and despair for such pervasiveness, from the reality of hate.

Today I participated in one of many, many, many Women's Marches occurring across the United States and across the world. The march I attended was in a much smaller city. But I was very pleased to see an attendance estimated between 95-100 people (and overjoyed to see the estimated 2.9 million people nationally). The atmosphere was peaceful and open. Before marching and after marching, attendees stood along the sidewalk outside of the County Courthouse, holding their signs towards the cars driving past. There were many honks of support, peace-signs, friendly waves and nods. It was encouraging.

About 80% of what I observed from cars and bystanders was positive and supportive. To be expected, however, there were a few pro-trump calls. This did not surprise, or particularly phase me. One did incident did.

"Be nice, be nice, be nice" one woman chided in warning from a passing car. She sat in the passenger seat, window rolled down and in the nearest lane to us as the car slowed ever-so-much while driving past. She ended with something along the lines of "trump" or "trump won", or other such intone of his name. She did not shout, but it was clear she wanted it to be heard. The meaning was clear too.

 I am writing on the eve of the inauguration of a man who, like many wealthy white men before him, has ridden to power on the backs of the oppressed. I am writing as our Nation's most ugly, corrupt, and unjust legacies embody themselves corporeally, and take an open and unabashed seat of overt leadership. Again and again, I have contemplated what this means for a country.

None of the rhetoric that the president-elect soon-to-be president espouses is new, novel, unique, or surprising, although it is not normal and should never be normal. It is, however, ​business as usual, based on the United State's track-record. Just a bit more in-your-face. His mentalities and platforms are very firmly grounded in the inheritance of genocide, rape, theft, slavery, and entitlement that form the foundation of the United States.  One look at our history should inform you of this. Indeed, you may already be aware of this if you pay one ounce of attention to the experiences of your fellow humans or if you are someone who experiences oppression. (1)

Those beloved founding fathers? I find most of them abhorrent in their treatment of those who did not possess a y-chromosome and did not have their same pale complexion. So, given all of that, this outcome is not shocking. If you are shocked, you need to educate yourself. It is, however, painful. Frankly, I have never expected much of anything from the White people of this country, very little from men, and much less from the wealthy. And least of all from the wealthy White man. It is a lot to expect, after all, that someone might inherently possess the qualities of human decency, empathy, and respect for life. (2) ​

Perhaps you can sense my exasperation.  But in that exasperation, what I keep coming back to is this: in the test of a nation, we have failed. Many times over.