J.E.Mosel
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To the Ends of the Earth

11/24/2012

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Friday morning I had my grammar class, of course. I enjoyed talking with Magali, as usual. Since we both want to get stronger, and to get back to track shape, we decided to meet Monday nights at the gym to start our own lifting. After class, I zipped past Koike-sensei on my bike, heading back to my dorm room. The day before, after planting seedlings, he had in fact mentioned that he may have me go present at the Japan Ecological Society and that I should apply. Little did we both know that the deadline had actually been the evening before. So during my grammar class I was anxious to speak with him, especially since I wasn't entirely sure if I had understood just what he wanted me to do and if it really involved a presentation. We were both happy to bump into each other to clear things up. Very soon thereafter, at noon, I attended the weekly lunch seminar. Afterwards, Koike-sensei explained what we should do about the presentation confusion. Since we had been confused about the deadline for the ecological society, he told me it would be worth it for me to come along anyways just to hear and learn, and explained that I should apply for the Japan Forestry Society meeting, so I could do a presentation then instead! I should have been more cautious when he had asked previously about my undergraduate research experience. I have completed one independent research project, I explained to him, on earthworm and buckthorn in Minnesota (both of which are "non-native" species and appear to facilitate each other. So I guess I will be presenting about this! I'm far, far, far from an expert so it makes me nervous. I would not consider my research project, although it was fun and I learned considerably, to be detailed enough for a presentation. Or unique enough. There are more qualified professors who have done significant research in this area, so I feel that my own little study--although I will explain it and present about it as best as I can!--is not sufficient. However, I reminded myself that the specific issue of earthworm spread in the great lakes area should actually be fairly interesting for Japanese researchers. But I'm definitely going to have to study up on Japanese ecology terminology--because the presentation is in Japanese! After the lecture, I mailed more letters. I feel as though the postal workers faces must all drop when they see me enter, because I always cause a hassle. This time it was much smoother, though. In the afternoon, I fell asleep for awhile. Naps are all well and good, but I think I'm going to have to prohibit them from now on. They are so unproductive. But it was raining again outside, and the gloomy weather really does have an effect on me. Rain is well and good now and again, and I know it is important to be thankful for precipitation (especially after the dry Minnesota weather we have had these last years), but I sure dislike being damp. In the evening I had my Environmental class. Joshua, a classmate and new friend (who I came to know better on the trip to Tomakomai) earlier in the week had asked me to join him for dinner after our class.  Admittedly, I was surprised, because I have never in my life been asked to dinner by a guy before (except Koike-sensei, but that doesn't count!). And flattered! And really, he is so kind, and hardworking. We biked to the north cafeteria, which I had never seen before and which is much larger than the others. I tried to do my best to suggest good foods to eat, but since I can't eat meat, my suggestions tend to be limited in first hand knowledge. At dinner, we both shared more about our backgrounds, since we only knew basic details from our past conversation. At this moment, I was reminded once again what an absolutely amazing experience it is to be here, and to meet people from all over the world. Joshua is from Nigeria, in fact, and so for both of us there were many things to share about our respective countries. And I can say with the utmost honesty that I have never spoken with someone who has given me more kind words in a single sitting. I truly look forward to learning more from him. I am so grateful to have met him. I biked back in the sprinkling rain after dinner, but I was so delighted by dinner that I hardly noticed it.
On Saturday morning, I had 9:15am track practice. Thankfully, the rain had stopped. It was sunny and pleasant. I even thought it was hot, in the direct light. The workout was 4x2x250m. The pacing for these workouts is always "as fast as you can." I am having trouble adjusting to this, because at most of my practices you are given goal times and paces which you are expected to meet. The rest between each set was a lengthy 15 minutes again, however! At this point, I am grateful for the long rest, because I am no where near the shape I want to be in before I can call myself a track athlete again. My body doesn't quite know how to react. At the end of my track career, I think my body gradually accepted the reality that it may never see a track race again (well, not NEVER because I promised Abby Smith that I would compete with her in the Masters series, for older folks. And I am always scheming of ways to sneak into races, anyways.). I wonder a little if my body let go of its track memories forever. I'm crossing my fingers that I can recover at least a little speed. I want so desperately to improve my times, although I know that this will be harder than ever in a new environment, with a new team, and with new practice methods. Still, that does not overshadow the fact that it is an incredible, and rare, opportunity to have the privilege to compete. The weather was so beautiful, as I was cooling down I was considering a long bike ride to the ocean. I also wanted to help cheer up Becca, who has been going through a difficult time this past week. Hanako-san asked me if I would be ready for lunch, and I explained the plans I had been considering. She was surprised, and told me that today was my welcome party! I had mixed up the days (I always mix up the Japanese words for Saturday and Sunday)! So of course I needed to go with! I had really been looking forward to this, so it was a pleasant surprise! It was about 11:30AM by the end of practice, and Hanako-san said she would meet me at 12:30 at the large Yodobashi Camera store, which is a landmark for me and many others. Then we would bike together. Hanako-san and all of the track girls are so ridiculously nice. The plan was to go to what is called a "dessert buffet"!!!! Since I don't eat meat, and since I said that I like cake, they had decided this would be a good choice and I could not have agreed more! The restaurant was off of Oodori, in a popular shopping area, and was called Shall We Sweets. In addition to a glass cabinet full of little cake squares you could select, there was also pasta, salads, little pizzas, and other lunch foods. What is more, there was sweet green tea, waffles, crepes, and icecream as well! And you could eat as much as you want, within the about a 40 minute time span! It was incredible! I tried to keep my excitement under control, but secretly I was so pleased and happy. Everyone was so kind, and I have really been astounded by how welcomed everyone made me feel. Goodness gracious, it was a happy meal, full of smiling faces. I am so grateful to everyone, and especially Hanako-san, who has helped me all the time. After eating, we biked back towards Yodobashi Camera--the sun was still pleasantly shining, the weather crisp but not cold, and golden leaves skirting across the sidewalks. I returned to my dorm to finish up some work, feeling extremely content. I still had not heard back from Becca all day, though, and this made me worried for her. I had told her in the morning that if she needed anything, or wanted to go to dinner or talk with me, she could call anytime. It got to be about 6PM, and I decided she must be preoccupied, and so I had just gotten ready to go pick up some cooking supplies to make dinner when I received a message asking if I was still interested in dinner. Of course, I was! We went to the Indian restaurant, and so it was round two of delicious food. Truly, a good day by the judgement of my stomach. I wanted to make sure Becca felt that she could talk to me about her troubles. I am not sure if I have been very helpful for her, but I hope so. I often do not know what to do or say, being (as I have referred to myself lately, "miserly" and "hermit-like"). But I am wishing her the best. This evening, the waiter even gave us free pieces of naan! We decided that, undoubtedly, we would bring the restaurant some Christmas presents. I enjoyed biking back with Becca that evening, and I hope so much that I was able to lighten her situation even just a bit. Although I myself can be rather morose at times, I do my best to wear a smile. Because it is true that being sad is not worth the time--though of course it cannot always be controlled, nor should you hold back your sadness when that is the case. But there is something to be said for putting on a smile. Therefore, the least I can do is to share a smile. And the more you smile, the happier you become.
On Sunday morning, it was morning track practice again. The weather was sunny again, and so I really lucked out. It felt so good to see pleasant weather, after a week of simply awful rain. When I asked what the workout was for the day, I almost couldn't believe it. It was 4x1200m. But then I reasoned, it is probably meant to be paced carefully. I asked what the speed should be--as fast as you can! I couldn't keep myself from looking incredulous. But I said I would do my best! Anyways, I am secretly very stubborn about challenges, and enjoy them. When given a challenging workout, though it can be frightening, usually I just meet it with a grin. It is sort of the feeling of "I dare you to be too difficult." Or the feeling of looking at a steep cliff and thinking, I bet I can get to the top, just watch me. I can't quite describe it, but I really enjoy a challenge. That being said, MID-challenge, my body usually has other opinions. There was still 12 minutes of rest in between sets, and this was yet again a saving grace. The first three sets I managed alright--not going as fast as I would like, to be sure, but keeping within a meter of Hanako-san. I always have a little bit of breath left to cheer on whoever I am running with, so coming into the last curve I always tried to say "faito!" (fight!) or "dekimasu!" (you can do it!). The last set, though I had felt the usual twinge of excitement, my legs had other ideas. The gap between Hanako-san and I widened on the second lap, and finishing the third lap I was about 50m behind. I wasn't cheering that time! So embarrassing. But I did my best to wear a smile. I had done my best, and there's not much more I can do. Improvement, I suspect, will be slow in appearing this year. I thanked Hanako-san for her help. That morning, I had received a humorous email from Koike-sensei telling me to please "harvest" the potatoes, peanuts, and sweet potatoes growing wild around the experiments. So after practice, I changed into some work clothes, retrieved the shovel from the secret cabinet (with use of the equally secret hidden key, which Koike-sensei had showed me). I had hoped that Becca would join me. Unfortunately, she didn't. It would have been more fun with company, but it was still so wonderful. While planting the seedlings that week, Koike-sensei had suddenly stepped out of the way and pulled up a peanut plant, explaining that they were growing wild all over the place, along with the potatoes. I did not catch the explanation of why exactly. I felt odd digging around next to the experiments--I felt nervous that someone might think I was messing with the research, even though I am supposed to be there. But once I actually managed to dig up some potatoes, I was so stunned! They were actually there, growing amongst the grass and plants alongside the paths. I pushed the shovel into the ground again, next to what I was half-way sure was a potato plant, and sure enough there were heaps of little potatoes in the dirt. I got all messy, but the harvest was successful as far as potatoes go. I only managed to find one peanut (literally, one). The sweet potatoes remained illusive. I couldn't find anything that looked like them, though they may even now be hiding out beneath the ground. After cleaning up, I brought my experimental potatoes back to the room. I received a message from Becca asking if I wanted to try to go study in a coffee shop. So I quickly changed out of most of the dirt (I actually ended up getting mud all over, which is not really that hard when you consider that I can reach almost all parts of my room by standing in the center). We were going to try to find a Starbucks to study in, though I have no love of coffee. They were all packed for whatever unfortunate reason. But we stopped and I got a piece of pumpkin cake instead of coffee. It was too hectic to study there, so next we tried the library, but this too was busy. Kotaro-san, who Becca had been asking for advice, told her that we should just come study at his place. I was hesitant, because I knew that it would not really be possible to be efficient in such a setting despite Becca's assiduousness. But I conceded anyways, because I have not really gotten to see much of Kotaro-san and his friends lately. We swung by the dorm and I picked up my laptop, which I rarely bring around since it is not sleek or especially light. For the first part, we were all fairly quiet. I still did not accomplish much, and our dedication degraded the longer we were there, to the point that we really were just talking and planning trips by the end. My suspicions had been correct. But I found it so kind yet again that Kotaro-san cooked dinner!

Monday is the only day of the week I can sleep in, and so it was such a relief. I woke up casually, at about 9:30AM. I didn't have to rush to eat or change or run out the door. I could move leisurely. I ate breakfast slowly, took a shower, and tried to get some things written and finished. Outside, it started to rain as it got closer to noon. And I had a surprise. While generally procrastinating on facebook, my good friend Sara noticed that I was dinking around. She finally sent me her skype name (Sara!) and we got to see each other for the first time in months! What a goof ball. I couldn't help but be smiley and happy to talk with her. She described my face on skype exactly how she had imagined I look when talking on a phone--that being, confused. I showed her my banjo, discussed plans for how she had better come visit, talked about my fitful plans for future education, foods, biking around in Japan and the general absent-minded recklessness of Japanese bikers, and all sorts of random things. I forget how it is to talk so naturally with someone. After that, I needed to get back to work. I didn't accomplish all that much, regrettably. I was supposed to fill out my application form for the Japan Forest Society, but because it is all written in kanji, Koike-sensi suggested I ask Nana-san (who is Chinese, but because of the similarity of the characters, is far more literate than I). At about 4:30PM, I met her at the Agricultural building. We had a heck of a time trying to work with the finicky online application, and trying to translate my abstract since it would not accept the original english version. Eventually, we were able to submit a shortened version. It was frustrating, but Nana-san is really patient and funny, so it worked out in the end. It took much longer than the original 10 minutes it ought to have--in fact, about an hour. I went back to the dorm, changed quickly, wrote down the track lifting sheet and general strength, and then I was off to the gym to meet Magali to lift weights together. As I was leaving the dorm, I passed Becca walking back with Kotaro-san. Becca had said she would also meet us at the gym, so I called out her name. She came shortly after, and I met Magali at 6:30. We got started with the lifting sheet that I had. I did my best to remember what all the odd names for the exercises meant. I kept saying that it is written in secret Olaf code. What we accomplished was relatively simple, and it felt extremely strange to go through the motions of exercises which were once, and so recently, familiar but now difficult to remember alone. Magali is so cheerful and ambitious, so it was a fun evening. Becca joined us too, and Magali had to leave by 7:30PM, so afterwards I waited a little bit for Becca to finish, and revealed to her how embarrassingly inflexible I am when it comes to stretches. In the evening, after getting back, and cooking dinner of eggs, potatoes, and rice (I must say, CO2 enriched potatoes taste just fine!), Becca and I met up for milk tea, some music, and I showed the slow but steady progress I have been making on the banjo.

On Tuesday I woke up early to finish kanji homework. After class, I ran into Becca. She was going to work on assignments in the library. I did not have my laptop with me, and needed to work on some applications, so I opted to return to my room. However, I procrastinated by playing banjo. I find that I get so easily distracted when in my room. But at the same time, I do not focus well in groups of people. I work best when I am on my own. By about noon, however, I decided to join Becca at the library. I clearly was not finishing much on my own, especially with the temptation of playing the banjo. I brought my laptop, sat down with Becca at her table, and opened up the blank document which I have been trying for so long to fill with words. At the moment, I could add no more than the prompt. So unfortunately, even at the library I was not especially productive. I do think I need to be completely alone to work the best--but as I said, this too leads me to give into distracting things. After a little while, Kotaro showed up. He sat reading a book, while Becca was generally productive in getting her reading done, and I was anything but. Outside, the weather was bright, and I so dislike to be indoors on such days. A little after 1PM, Kotaro and Becca wanted to go to lunch. If I am honest, I felt a little awkward joining them, especially after I learned that Kotaro wanted to go to a different restaurant, not just the Shokudou (university cafeteria). I felt as though perhaps he wanted me to leave, so he could have lunch with Becca. I have no way of knowing for sure, and to be certain Kotaro is a very nice guy, but this was the distinct sense that my admittedly self-conscious person perceived. In any case, I was becoming extremely stressed that I had wasted not just the time that morning, but also that I had finished nothing on my application papers the night before. Feeling a little down, and frustrated about the situation, I went back to dorm to try to work harder. I ate an apple and peanut butter (which I consume too much of), and tried again. Very surprisingly, at about 3:30 PM my cell phone rang. Though I did not recognize the number, I knew that the area code was for Sapporo. I very rarely receive phone calls, because they are expensive and most people in order to save money use email (and occasionally text messaging). I decided to pick up the phone, knowing it could be Koike-sensei, or some other important entity trying to reach me. In fact, it was Tashiro-san from the Agricultural School office. She has a very soft and somewhat shy demeanor, and in this way explained to me that there was somebody from Sappachi honey at the office wondering if I was there. Sappachi is the honey farm, if you remember, on top of a building in Sapporo. Becca and I had met one of the workers during the Autumn festival, and had agreed much to their excitement to volunteer if they needed help. At that time, I had given them my business card so that they could contact us. Tashiro-san also sounded a bit confused--though not quite as confused as I! Previously, I had received an email from Sappachi asking if I was interested in helping at a small event in a few weeks. This, I assume, was the purpose of the visit. She asked if I was in the lab, but unfortunately I was in my dorm and it was getting close to when I needed to get ready for track practice. Tashiro-san asked if I had time to come meet with them and I knew that it would be too rushed so I explained to her that I was very sorry for the trouble (I had no idea they would come to Hokudai to seek me, I had assumed they would email or call) but I could not come at that time. Instead, I gave them my phone number and told them to call me at any time. Then I did my best to write a polite email in Japanese apologizing for the trouble. I feel so bad that they came all the way to campus to find me! The older lady who we had met is very nice, and I imagined how disappointed she might have been. I really do want to volunteer, though! At 4:30PM I had track practice. We were meeting in a new place for me, the gym off of mainstreet which I had up until locating the real gym believed to be the primary athletics center. Hanako-san met me outide, and showed me where to go once indoors. This gym, compared to the fairly dilapidated main gym, is quite new. However, I do not think there is a weight room. As far as I could observe, in fact, there are only locker rooms and a big basketball court. The practice, as I gradually learned, would involve a lot of jumping exercises. Little did I know just how difficult it would be for me. First we warmed up (too little running, in my opinion) then I did drills for what always seems like an excessive amount of time. We all circled up and the captain announced the workout. From what I could collect, boy was I nervous. It was indeed jumping. A lot of jumping. We all lined up along the basketball court. The first time across the whole court we were to jump holding one leg up to our chest (or in my case, holding one leg). Then we switched legs, and hopped back to the start. Without pausing to rest, we were to switch to holding our foot behind our back and jump all the way across and back (switching feet half way). I found even this first set of going down and back twice to be so difficult. I am dreadful--and I mean dreadful--at most things involving jumping. When you combine flexibility, I'm done for. I am notoriously inflexible. So from the start, I was not only the last one to reach the other side, but also extremely silly looking. I had no idea how long we would keep this up. As it turns out, we did about 5 (6?) sets! With every set, my whole body became worn to the point that I could barely hop as I reached the end. And I was always the last person. It was absolutely embarrassing. At some point, even I must admit to my physical limitations. I knew I would not be able to make it through all the sets. The coach was watching practice from across the gym, and I wanted so badly to keep up at least a decent image in front of everyone. But it became impossible. Not wanting to quit, but making a fool of myself by how slow I was, I hopped as fast and far as I could, then sprinted as fast as I could to catch up to everyone for the last set. It was such a disappointment. But there was nothing that could be done for it--I am no good at jumping, and I was not going to improve instantaneously. All I could do was try to keep my chin up, and push through it. After wards, we did a sprinting set where we all divided into three groups, rotating through. We would sit in various positions along the line of the court, then when the leader clapped (acting as a starting gun) we had to jump up as fast as possible and sprint across the gym. We went through perhaps 12 different limitations on standing up--at first, we just say normally and could stand any way we wished, then backwards, then on stomachs, on backs, no hands, etc. Among runners, I have a sluggish reaction time. So I was yet again always the last up. Because of that disadvantage (and I'm sure also because I do not have any speed yet), I was once again consistently last. But, as I explained to runners, at least it was running! That I can do! At the end for a little cool down (or just for fun, I have no idea) we divided into three teams to rotate through games of basketball. Though I was hesitant at first to take part, especially because the team is made of primarily guys, but it was actually very fun. More so because, for the first time since arriving here in Japan, it was a chance to participate in a team sport. I'm none too good at basketball, but I do my best, and later one of the girls actually complimented me which was nice to hear (even if I know my own skills at basketball are quite limited). So although I left practice feeling supremely humbled, everyone was quite patient and I was glad to have made it through. I biked home rather happily, practicing my no hands biking skills which have really blossomed while in Japan (I can even bike with no hands while standing now. That's a new development!). I got dinner, and prepared myself to not be able to move in the morning, knowing such jumping tom-foolery on my part would have consequences the next day!

On Wednesday I attended my class, then afterwards came back to my dorm to start work on an apple pie. It was a friend's birthday the next day, and I was meeting him that evening for dinner, so I wanted to give him a present. I tried to finish up little things like emails and writing applications while I baked the pie in the newly discovered microwave oven located in the lounge of the dorm. I thought all this time that it was just a normal microwave, but as it happens, it can also bake small things. I skyped home to my family while rolling out the pie, and so it was a little difficult to talk. Once the pie was done, I packed it into a bag in order to somehow balance it while biking. I was extremely on edge while attempting to transport it, and very protective of it. I could just picture myself crashing (or more likely, someone crashing into me) while carrying a pie. When I arrived at class, Diao-san gave me a little bag of candies. Her parents had sent some from her hometown in China and she was giving some to me! I was so happy. She is such a sweetheart. Very quiet, very intelligent, and very kind. Throughout class, I could smell the apple pie. Afterwards, my friend Joshua and I had dinner. Joshua, who is from Nigeria, had earlier offered to make a Nigerian meal for me. We ate this together. It involved a thick soup, and semolina. It was very delicious! However, I do always find myself a little uncomfortable in situations where I am alone with just one other person. I am a very self-conscious person, after all. But Joshua is very nice and very kind. He also shared some wellknown Nigerian music with me. I feel privileged to learn from him about a country I otherwise might have few opportunities to learn about. As I have explained before, my chances to travel outside of the U.S. are limited, I feel. In the past, I have never traveled because of the cost, and so I was reminded again of what a great privilege and honor it is to be a part of the Fulbright Program. I am very grateful to have met him. When I returned to the dorm, I spoke to Becca over hot chocolate. She mentioned that she had decided to go to Shiretoko that weekend with Kotaro. Shiretoko is the very eastern point of the island of Hokkaido, located on the pacific ocean. It is a place that I wanted to go very badly. Nonetheless, to be honest, I was very disappointed about this very sudden change. For about the past month and a half I have been so so so looking forward to seeing a bluegrass concert which was scheduled for that Saturday night. In fact, long ago Becca and I had agreed to go to this together. I have been diligently practicing the banjo every night possible in preparation for this concert, and in preparation to work up the courage to ask the members if they might be willing to teach me a little, in exchange for english lessons or whatever I could help with. Perhaps one thing that throws me off more than anything else is a sudden change in schedule. The fact that this change in schedule also took away the chance to attend the concert I had so dearly been looking forward to made things even more difficult. Becca had asked if I would like to go along to Shiretoko, and while of course I was very interested in this, I could not help but feel torn. A while earlier, Kotaro had invited us on this same trip, and we had declined in order to attend the concert and wondered if we could go on a trip the next weekend instead. However, that did not work for Kotaro's plans. I had assumed that things were set, but then the idea of a trip appeared again.  I felt truly torn, and told Becca that I would try to decide in the next days what I would do. After that, Becca mentioned briefly that the apartment underneath Kotaro's had become available, and perhaps she would be interested. She asked what I thought about moving there as well. This just made my head spin--two very sudden things seemingly out of the blue. At that moment, while the prospect of a larger apartment was very appealing, I knew it was not a decision I could make so suddenly and then I would like to know more. I assumed that it would be a slower process, involving perhaps going to see the apartment, so I felt that I would have a little time to mull the idea over. Admittedly, my little hovel of a room has worn on me. I have bumped into the wall too many times, had too many fights with the single burner, and found that there is little space to keep everything organized. However, I have grown accustomed to the area and streets around it, to the grocery store, to my running routes, and of course to the ever-friendly and smiling Satoh-san. Furthermore, now that I have involved myself in track, I began to realize that with the snow, moving farther away would make it very troublesome (perhaps a half hour or more walk) to reach practices. Besides that, my current location even in bad weather is only about ten minutes away from the Agricultural Building on foot. And the experiments are literally in my backyard. So all in all, although my room is small, the building itself is clean and fairly new even if the outside is a bit shabby. And it is ten times better looking than the older dorms on campus. When I had first arrived here in Sapporo and first stepped into my tiny room, I felt that perhaps it would not work out. If you may remember, I looked longingly at the apartment buildings I could see from my window, with their nice balconies, actual living spaces, and freedom to invite guests over. I stayed because I was reassured by Becca that it was a nice situation, and I wanted to be near to her. I too conceded that it was not so bad, especially for the price. Now as I have become so accustomed to my surroundings, I found the prospect of leaving so suddenly to be rather undesirable. Perhaps if introduced to the idea more gradually it would not have been so off-setting. I returned to my room feeling confused, but still felt that there was time to make decisions.

On Thursday I attended my morning Kanji class. We had a quiz, and though I had tried to get studying done the night before, I had not been overly successful. I had even woke up extra early to go over the list again, but ended up dozing off until about 7:50AM! So I did not feel as confident. The quiz seemed to go alright, nonetheless. I enjoyed talking with Magali (as usual!). The sun was peeking out, and although all I wanted was to fall asleep after waking up early and getting to bed rather late, I steeled myself and changed into running clothes. I did not want to waste the sunlight! It was about 11AM, and therefore some of the best sunlight of the very short days here. Once I got going, as usual, I was happy to be running. I made a simple circle around the outskirts of the campus. While stopped at a traffic light on the opposite side of campus (the busier side, where there is always heavy pedestrian traffic) I looked across to the other side only to recognize Hanako-san on her bike! I was so surprised! She recognized me too, and so I darted across the street to say hello. She was, understandably, perplexed as to why I was out for a run when we would have practice that afternoon. I explained that I wanted to loosen up my legs (they were, as expected, rather sore after Tuesday's jumping extravaganza) but that of course I would be at practice. Also, I feel that it may be necessary for me to add in some runs on my own even on practice days, since the warm ups and cool downs are so short. Nothing ridiculous (I'm no distance runner, and that is for certain), but just to keep a little endurance up. When I got back, I was in a good mood from the run. At 2:30PM I was supposed to meet Becca to go together to a camping store. I've been hoping to find one, and as winter is fast showing its colors, we knew we would need to buy some actual winter boots. I have my hiking boots, and I hope to use them as long as I can, but they aren't especially warm though they have proven faithful to me! I was also in search of a special present for my dad. However, at about 1 o'clock while eating lunch cheerfully (food tastes best after a little work) and sitting at my desk I suddenly received a message from Becca stating that she was defining going to move. I was so shocked. It was so sudden and out of the blue. I had thought that we would at least go take a look at the apartment together. Or at least maybe discuss things a little more. Of course, it is not my place to make decisions for others. However, I had assumed that because I had been asked what I would think about moving that perhaps I would be involved a little in learning more about things. Admittedly, I had expressed hesitation the night before. Becca is a much more spontaneous person than I, and as I said, I respect that she also had a decision to make. I just wish I would have actually been given some information or chance to digest. I did not know how to respond, except that my first reaction was shock. And sadness. I spent the next hour or so not knowing what to do, not knowing what an appropriate reaction was, but overall feeling defeated. I did not know what I should say or how I should act going to meet to go to the camping store. I was hurt, though I understood that it had not been her intention to do so. I tried to think of how to express how I felt, but I did not want to risk saying anything wrong. I never want to burden others. I never want to interfere with others. But I so often end up hurt. I biked to meet up with Becca outside the Higher Education building. I could feel sadness creeping into my movements, and I biked slowly. It is one of only a handful of times here in Japan when sadness truly became heavy upon me. So whether I wanted to appear so or not, I am sure my reaction was quite visible. We biked together to the camping store, and this was more enjoyable to me. Perhaps one of the reasons I love camping stores is because of the potential that each item encompasses. Although such stores are always expensive, and the items therefore far out of reach, I like to think of the places I could go and the things I could do someday. In fact, I may now for the first time ever be able to purchase things that I have always dreamed of. Especially because my research involves traipsing through the woods, my stipend may go to legitimate use in a camping store. That prospect is exciting. My main goal at the store was looking for a present for my dad, and I was unsuccessful in this primarily because of my own indecisiveness. However, perhaps the highlight was locating what I can only call a sleeping bag suit. It is a sleeping bag with arms and legs just like a snow suit. My friend Sara some time ago had sent me a picture of someone curled up in one, knowing full well that only a goofball like me would want something so ridiculous. Becca and I tried it on. We agreed that if we have money left at the end of the year, maybe we will buy one just for fun. As we left, the reality of the situation began to return to me. I did not try hard to hide my feelings, because I do not think that I could have hidden them even if I had tried. As we biked back we passed the brilliantly gold ginkgo leaves covering the ground along a campus road. We took our pictures sitting in these beautiful leaves, then Becca suggested we go to the cafeteria bakery (which is delicious) and buy some "kuri pan." This is a magical invention--sweet, chocolate chip bread with chestnut cream inside. I admit to eating more of these than perhaps I ought to. But when they are warm, especially, they are so good. When we arrived we were lucky in that some had been freshly baked! Becca even ate two. I would have eaten a million, but I had to save mine because it was already close to 4PM and I had track practice at 4:40. It would be a shame to get an upset stomach and tarnish such a delicious treat. Standing outside the bakery, we began to talk about the situation. It was difficult for me to explain my sadness--how I felt that I would be left behind, and how sudden everything was. I wish I could have kept myself from tearing up. We parted ways, and I felt bad for expressing such sadness, but still hurt and not quite knowing what to do. I understood all of the reasons for wanting to move, and also that it had been no one's intention to hurt me. Still, that had been the result given the circumstances.  Going to track practice, I was still in no good mood. Furthermore, it is already completely dark by the start of practice. Warming up, primarily on my own in the dark, I could not keep my mind from drifting to gloomy thoughts about the day. I could not keep myself focused on track and my purpose in the moment. The workout was 4x250m. This was not so hard, but I felt so slow, and out of shape. I returned to my dorm afterwards, made a quick dinner of eggs and rice, which helped me to warm up a bit from the very cold conditions at practice. At 8PM, I was to attend Joshua's birthday party at his dorm. The dorm complex that he and many of the HUSTEP program guys live in is somewhat of a labyrinth, in both layout and feeling. It was rather disheveled, and has seen quite a few years of hard use. But the interesting aspect is that there is a central lounge area, with a very high ceiling, and all sorts of manner of equipment and oddities, Japanese writing on the walls, and strange posters. It is a very interesting, slightly crazy, looking environment. Entering the building, I got turned around trying to find Joshua's wing of the building. Thank heavens that when I looked up, it was to Diao-san waving to me down the hall way! After taking many wrong turns, I was so immensely pleased to see her! She was also lost, and had asked a Japanese student for help. However, she speaks no Japanese, so was having a bit of trouble explaining. At last, we located Joshua. We all sat in the kitchen, and the cakes, and people gradually accumulated to the point that both were overflowing. All of us gathered in the kitchen initially introduced ourselves, and it was such an honor to meet so many people from so many places. There began to be so many people that we could not all fit, so we moved to the open space that I described previously. I stayed and talked primarily with Diao-san, though I was happy also to meet a number of others, as well as to talk to some of the HUSTEP students. It was a very happy occasion for everyone, and I could feel that friendly atmosphere throughout the room. It got to be 11 PM, and I really needed to get back to my dorm. I bid Diao-san, Joshua, and the others farewell, navigated myself out of the maze of the dorm (almost forgetting my shoes on the way out, fearing that I would never find them since they were in a different hallway), and then embarked into the cold night for the ride home. The air at night recently has been downright cold, even for me, such that I can feel the bite on my hands. I tried to warm up a bit, then fell asleep.

Friday was class again. I was still a bit frustrated about the dilemma of the trip, and deciding what to do. After class I stopped again to get some bread to try to cheer up. There was a lunch seminar about a machine called PIXE (Particle Induced X-ray Emission) that is available at Tokyo University and how it could possibly be applied to plant and forest research.  After the seminar, I finally was able to ask Ogura-san for help with the last step (I hope!) of applying to present at the Japan Forestry Society in March. All in all, there were many little things to finish up that day if I were to suddenly go on a trip. I was also apprehensive about missing a whole weekend of track practices, especially since I am already unable to attend Wednesdays/Fridays due to class conflicts. I rather frantically emailed Hanako-san, the middle distance runner who is always helping me out, and explained the situation. A lot to do, and worried about missing track. In the afternoon, after sending some emails and writing some letters, I swung over to the post office about 3PM. When I was leaving, I looked up to see a student walking through the doors. We both did a double take--it was Tomomi-san, a sprinter on the Hokudai track team. It was fun to run into her, and to be recognized by someone. She is really energetic, and always hoping to learn new English vocabulary. She was one of the first people to excitedly say hello to me, in particular after hearing of my love for sprinting events. After the post office, I still have about an hour before my evening class. I decided to go to a book store for the first time. There is a very large book store on the route I walk to Sapporo Station. I have passed it numerous times, but never gone in. It is really big inside, but with huge windows so that you can see all the floors from the outside. There were so many books I was interested in. It is a rather dangerous place for me to go, since there are few books I am not interested in. My goal was to locate a present for my dad's birthday. But I also managed to find a tree guide for Hokkaido, which I anticipate will be quite invaluable to me. I made it to class with considerable time to spare, not realizing how quick it was to bike from the bookstore to class. I waited outside for a time, and then the professor passed by. He took one look, and then exclaimed with some confusion "I know you!" I also thought he had looked familiar. It turns out he was the supervisor for Maricle-san, whose PhD presentation I had attended. At the presentation, because myself and Mao-san arrived just before it was about to start, most seats were taken except for those in the front. So I had sat right in the front, probably quite un-Japanese like. We talked for a time, and I even exchanged my business card. Much like Koike-sensei, he also was very friendly. His presentation gave me some background on Japanese government and global warming, which I have been very curious about. It seems that because the Japanese prime ministers tend to have short careers--that is, they switch frequently, or retire--there is little pressure on these figures to fulfill their environmental promises. For example, apparently the prime minister in 2006(?) stated that he would cut carbon emissions by 25% or so percent of Japan's 1999 levels by 2015. That same year, he retired, however. So of course nothing came of this extremely ambitious statement, and he probably made the statement knowing full well that he would not be forced to see it through. I am still interested, as well, to know how Japanese citizens feel about environmental responsibility and global warming. Of course I am sure that it varies significantly person to person, similar to the United States. What I have gathered so far, though, is that in general (on a nation-wide survey level) Japanese people consider forests to be most important in disaster prevention, not so much for concerns about biodiversity. Carbon sequestration is starting to become a major association as well. During class I received a message from Becca that Kotaro-san would be coming to pick us up between 6-7PM. After receiving the OK from Hanako-san, assuring me that she understood that sometimes it would be necessary for me to miss practice and that it would not be a problem, I decided that I would be willing to go. I told Becca that I would be ready by 7PM.  I got back to the dorm, packed a hasty bag of warm clothes, and then still feeling pretty stressed went with Becca to Kotaro's place. I was told to bring a swimsuit, which at the time perplexed me. At Kotaro's, I tried to help cook dinner, but generally just got in the way. My job was the simplest--just stir the vegetables. Kotaro-san's roommate, Zenta, had apparently made "terrible" rice, and so Kotaro-san wanted to find a creative way to salvage the meal. He made Korean nabe, and it turned out delicious. He put the "terrible" rice in the left over broth, and it was also very good! We were supposed to leave about 9PM, but it ended up being about 10PM. We drove all through the night, taking shifts. Namijyun and Becca drove first, and Kotaro-san a little as well. I was supposed to doze while they were all driving, but I am never very good at this, and I much prefer to look out the windows at the dark shapes, the sky, and to think. Late in the night (or rather, early in the morning) I offered to drive because I felt the least sleepy. Whenever I take off, I always do silly things like forget to turn on the lights. But once I get going, I do consider myself to be a decent driver. Namijyun and Becca fell asleep in the back, and for a while Kotaro-san stayed up to help me navigate. I consider myself the least trustworthy as far as navigating--I am prone to getting lost. However, there is a GPS in the car, and gradually I became accustomed and confident in using this. Sensing this, Kotaro asked if it was ok if he fell asleep too. I said it would be no problem, and actually rather enjoyed the feeling of independence in navigating and driving the car all by myself. I felt pressure, because by trusting me enough to fall asleep, everyone had also trusted me with their safety. So I drove carefully. Driving through the dark countryside, now and again there were spots which suddenly appeared so reminiscent of Minnesota. One of my biggest concerns while driving were other animals. I was on constant lookout for the green flash of eyes along the road. Now and again, I would see two bright green spots far ahead, and this was my sign that there was a fox along the road. Sometimes they would trot across, or just watch cautiously as I drove past them. Around 3:30/4AM, the roadside became lined with beautiful pine trees and forest. The more open countryside shifted to pine forest. The straight roads became more curved, and less flat. We seemed to be nearing the area of Akan-ko, which is mountainous and a well known resort area. The road, to my slight distress, was also fresh with snow. I was thankful at that moment to be a Minnesotan. Everyone was still asleep, and so I made a point of driving slowly, not trusting the tiny tires of the rented car, and not wanting to awake everyone by crashing into a snowy ditch. I also saw some magnificent deer. I have never in all my life seen a stag before--one appeared, after it had begun to snow, very suddenly in the darkness along the shoulder. His head was arrayed with a crown of huge antlers. He just stood and watched, then turned and ran away into the woods. It began to snow, in fact, and the trees were laden with light, new snow.  I had been watching the gas levels with concern while driving, having mentioned to Kotaro when I took the wheel that it was only at about a quarter tank and that we may need to stop. At that time, he had agreed but admitted there was not much to be done since there were no gas stations open until the morning. So I had driven on, keeping a close eye on the needle, and on signs for towns.As we neared Akan-ko, Becca woke up and I informed her of my concern about the gas. I felt that we needed to stop, since there was only the resort town of Akan-ko left before our destination, which I felt was too far away to reach. Kotaro was in a rather sleepy and unhelpful (I would say grumpy) state when we woke him to ask what he suggested we do. Becca and I decided to take the turn to Akan-ko. By this time it was almost 5AM. Akan-ko is certainly a resort town, very, very small, with a street occupied primarily by Ainu souvenir trinket shops on one side and a Ryokan on the other, on the shores of Akan-ko (Lake Akan). We parked at the conbini. A fox wandered through the parking lot.  It was bitter cold when we climbed out of the car, most of us wrapped in blankets, to wander in the dark through the small, empty street. We went to the shore of the lake. It was dead quiet, except for us, complaining of the cold, shivering, and jumping around to stay warm. I could see venus shining brightly in the sky. At first, the shapes of mountains around the lake were only dark, black forms, hidden from sight. A middle-aged man wandered by, and came to speak with us. He had apparently biked through much of Japan in his youth, and had returned to Akan-ko now an older man. He was very friendly, and Namijyun patiently spoke with him. I did my best to speak, as well (and to pretend that I could understand all of his Japanese aftr he scolded Namijyun for not knowing English while commending that I had already learned Japanese!). The skyline slowly shifted from black, to slight blue. The stars became fainter, and the mountains almost suddenly were true mountains, and much nearer than I had known. It was not quite sunrise, but the others were cold, and we decided to get on the road. First we grabbed some snacks from the conbini, at some clementines, and some onigiri (Kotaro had prepared it, and folks had been snacking on little onigiri 'rice balls' throughout the night), and I gave to reigns to Kotaro. We still had less gas than I was comfortable with, but none of the stations would be open until 8AM and Kotaro did not seem patient enough to wait. We continued driving and driving, the sun rising, and the land shifting again to fields. We reached the next town, but it was still between 6 and 7AM. We pulled into one, with so little gas, but it remained roped off. I suggested that we simply wait. This is what I would have preferred. But Kotaro decided to try to make for the next town. On what I am sure could not have been more than fumes, Kotaro drove slowly to the next town. I was completely on edge and rather frustrated not to simply wait. I had little desire to become stranded on the roadside. Somehow, and against all wisdom, they managed to inch into a station--a 24 hour station, in fact, that had appeared "as if sent by the gods." I did not want to encourage their recklessness by being excited over such luck. It wasn't an especially good idea, and one cannot always rely on such incredible luck. It was still only about 7:30AM, though, and we had the whole day ahead of us, open for adventure. Becca and I dozed a little in the back. It seems that we were going to head to a marshland, the biggest in Japan. It was gray, windy, and I was a bit cold. I was also in no great mood, because my mind was still on the recent news of Becca's decision to move. So combining the chilly weather and my overall sadness, I was hesitant to show considerable joy. The landscape was quite beautiful, however. Though I could see smoke stacks in the distance. The road stop was empty, being so early in the morning. We explored the outside of the building, then followed a small trail into part of the woods overlooking the marsh. I would have liked to continue further on the trail, as would Becca, but the others were quite cold. We went back to the car and we were on to our next destination, an onsen. On the way, we pulled into the tiniest train station (just a little metal box really) that Kotaro and Namijyun were interested in seeing. As we came closer and closer to what I believe was Lake Kussharo, the air smelled like sulfurous--like rotten eggs. Outside the window there was a steaming rocky hill, so sulfurous that some of the smoke was even yellowish green. I have never seen such a place. The area around it was bog like, and the plants short and tough, probably because of the acidity of the soil. We drove on towards where the many onsen were. But none opened until 1 or 2PM and it was only about 10AM. We drove a little ways more, and stopped at an absolutely delicious bakery/art shop. It was so small, and in the middle of no where, but some of the best bread I have had in Japan. I bought a little wooden spoon here, that I plan to use for camping. We were all so happy from the delicious bread. Kotaro had glanced at a small map, and we were going to drive to what was described as a free, open air spring. We passed a little wooden torii on the way, and the beautiful landscape. When we pulled up to Lake Kussharo, it truly was a spring constructed of rocks right on the shore of the lake. The lake shore was surrounded by swans. There were two little wooden buildings to change in. This was the reason for the swimsuits. Though there was a large boulder separating the men's and women's side of the little pool, it was really one pool. It was so incredible. For perhaps the first time on the trip, I was truly happy, despite the many sad thoughts still close on my mind. How could I not be happy in such an astounding place? It was a place out of dreams! Out of fantasy! I could not have asked for a more amazing place. At first I was dubious that we would not freeze when told to change into a swimsuit in such cold weather, and outside too. Nonetheless, we changed in the little hut. I hesitantly stepped out, and then we got into the little pool ("rotenburou"=open air bath/outside bath). It was the perfect temperature. Even though the skies were cloudy, and it began to sprinkle so lightly, we were not cold. What an incredible place. And to be surrounded by mountains across the lake, and swans even! We listened to their noisy conversations around us. As I sat in the warm water, I fully expected to awake from a lengthy dream. I thought "yes, this will be it. This will be the moment that I wake up and learn that this whole time in Japan has been a dream. It is too good to be true." I still feel this way occasionally--a profound sense of disbelief. I do not know if I can express fully how surprised I am, still, to have been given this amazing experience of traveling to Japan. I never expected to be able to see such places. At 1PM, Kotaro-san was to have an interview with a woodworker. He is writing his graduation thesis on woodworking. We all changed back into our clothes. I peeped into the little tiny wooden building near where we had parked. It was full of hand carved wooden owls and sculptures. I would have liked to talk to the owner more--he had carved everything, and had built the outdoor bath himself. He feeds the swans, and showed us some beautiful pictures of the winter. I felt that it was a little rude of us not to talk to him more, but Becca reminded me that Kotaro needed to arrive to his interview in time. I think that, since this older man constructed the bath and gave such a great gift of letting others use it for free, it is a shame we did not stop in earlier. The man that Kotaro was to interview lived in a wooden cabin maybe 20 minutes or so away. We pulled off the main road, onto a smaller dirt road surrounded by trees. I am admittedly jealous of this man's home! Truly the abode of a woodworker, though. Everything was made of wood. While we were all waiting for it to become 1PM, sitting in the car, the man noticed and came out to greet us. Kotaro and Namijyun went in to do the interview. Kotaro entrusted the car to Becca and I, with instructions to go explore so we would not be bored. We looked at the GPS map a bit, and aimed for the points that were labeled mountains on the map. We tried to locate roads, and when at last we thought we had found one that would lead us up these large hills, we encountered a fallen tree blocking the way. We turned around and attempted to reach the large butte (perhaps that is what you would describe it) that we had spied with such reverence earlier in the drive. Becca described it as being straight out of Rohan from the Lord of the Rings. I agreed completely. I wanted desperately to climb to the top, but knew that there would not be time. We needed to be back to retrieve Kotaro and Namijyun by the end of their interview at about 2:45. So instead, keeping our eyes on the butte, we followed the roads that seemed to approach it, driving by sight and an occasional glace at the map. We drove through magnificent farm land, surrounded by the beautiful forms of hills and mountains. Hokkaido's mountains have a tendency to take queer and unexpected shapes, and they are each unique. One looked like bears ears, some like fingers, or thumbs. Others are conelike, or crooked. I saw tractors and worked fields, observing it all closely in order to report back to my dad. The clouds were breaking in the silvery sunlight along the mountains. At last, it seemed we could come no closer, having taken a small muddy road. We parked, and walked the rest of the road up the hill. This opened into a breathtaking grassy, green hill, spreading before us like a plain. If a team of horsemen had ridden over the hill top, I would not have been surprised. The grass was cut low, it seems from the grazing of deer (or perhaps cattle, though there were no fences). As we climbed the brilliant green slopes, we could see out across the land and the mountains before us, as well as the lake. We returned to the car, feeling accomplished in our little adventure. We arrived back at the cabin on time, but even by 3PM Kotaro did not emerge. We dozed a little, guessing that the interview must have been going well. Just as I nodded off, my face looking silly I am sure, Kotaro appeared at the window of the car. He told us we should come inside. Feeling a little groggy, we followed him into the cabin. The middle aged woodworker was inside, as well as a neighbor (son?) and his very young and adorable daughter. The inside of the cabin was just as lovely as the outside. I would like to live in just such a home, someday. We sat at the table, and Kotaro, Namijyun and the woodworker talked enthusiastically together about furniture making. I did my best to follow along, but admittedly I understood very little (much to my frustration). I would have liked so much to speak as well. When I mentioned that I was from Minnesota after being asked, the woodworker retrieved some old slides (how nostalgic, I really do love slides) since he had visited Minnesota long ago. He could not find them, but we learned that he had taken a long canoe trip across the U.S.--if I understood correctly--and that he was a very well-traveled man in his youth. He made us tea as well. Becca and I were very hungry, having not stopped for a proper meal all day, and so as the time dragged on we became secretly impatient. Not being able to understand much, I regrettably was also quite impatient but tried to remain polite. I knew Kotaro and Namijyun were really enjoying the chance to speak with the woodworker, and that was important. Outside, it had begun to pour loudly. Finally, as the conversation began to wrap up, the woodworker offered Kotaro and Namijyun each their choice of a book. They were so excited. The woodworker signed them, even. I could relate to their excitement, and was very happy for them. While the younger man, who I assume is a neighbor, was still at the cabin he asked if we had a place to stay. In fact, we did not, which we had all been a little concerned about. The man informed us that in fact he managed a little lodge, and that we should stay there! And for FREE! He had drawn us a map. In the cold rain, we departed from the woodworker's cabin in search of a place to eat dinner in the small town. It was dark, and almost everything was closed although it was only about 6PM. We were beginning to lose hope for dinner when we pulled up to a very cute, wooden cafe and spied the waitress just shutting up the door. Kotaro rolled down the window and asked if they were closing. This incredibly kind woman, who had just closed up, said that we could park and come in. I was so relieved and amazed. We sat down at the wooden tables--the whole interior of the building was beautiful polished wood, with christmas lights outside--and looked through the menus. About the only vegetarian options were pizzas. But they were handmade and looked quite delicious (one was cheese/potato and the other mozzerella). Becca and I ordered one each, then cut them in half so we got part of both kinds. The woman was the only one at the cafe, and she had made all of our meals by hand! I am still shocked by this. I wished that Japan accepted tips, because she deserved about a %75 tip for her kindness and delicious food. As we were finishing up and preparing to go, and while speaking with Becca, I felt as though our conversation had somehow gone awry. I was confused by the defensiveness of her tone, rather out of the blue. Sometimes I just let such things slide, but in fact I was quite insulted by the implications of what she had said to me, and the way she spoke. So I paid my bill, and after we got into the car, I screwed up the courage to ask if something I had said upset her. The response and subsequent revelation took me by such surprise it was almost unfathomable to me. It was a response that not in a million years had I anticipated. I will not describe the conversation here, except to say that I was surprised by its content, and extremely upset. It brought to light some opinions that took me by surprise, and hurt my feelings by their unexpected revelation and, I felt, unjust application. When we pulled up to the little lodge in the dark, I was still upset, but awestruck by how amazing the building was and how fortunate we were to be allowed to stay there! I had to keep checking that we really getting to stay there for free because I could not believe it. We brought in our bags. They started up the heater, because it was cold. Though I tried, nonetheless I could not hide how upset I was. Kotaro commented that I should go to sleep straight away, because he mistook my somewhat teary eyes for sleepy ones. I did not know what to do, because I did not want to start crying so inexplicably in front of Kotaro and Namijyun, or to spoil what should be a wonderful evening, and so a kind gift of staying in the lodge. All I wanted to do was run away. If it had not been for the rain, I might have. Fortunately, Kotaro and Namijyun left to pick up some snacks. Not knowing where to go, I wandered upstairs and into a little bedroom to hide. Of course, I was found out. And for the best, I am sure. Becca and I had a long conversation and I shed quite a few tears. All of my sadness and reservations for coming on the trip came to light, and I explained for my part why I was so upset, and Becca also explained the reasons for her frustrations. I cannot and will not speak of the deeper content of our conversation in such a public forum, since I feel that would be disrespectful to expose rather private opinions and such a personal conversation. I will say only that in all situations, honesty of opinion is of the utmost importance. Therefore, I am deeply grateful to have been able to have a conversation. In disagreements, there is no greater tool than conversation. That is probably why I dislike most movies so much, because the conflict in the plot only moves forward where conversation is lacking. So despite my sadness that evening, I consider myself very fortunate nonetheless. I find disagreements awkward and unpleasant (who doesn't, I suppose), I try not to cause conflict, and do my best to soften my words so as to avoid them at great cost, and so I was grateful to be in good company. Embarassedly, I emerged from my hiding place at Becca's encouragement and tried to look less upset when I ventured back downstairs. Both Kotaro and Namijyun had taken a bath, and the water was still hot. Becca kindly let me go first so I could try to recover a bit of poise. I felt terrible at the prospect of causing the others worry, or potentially spoiling their evening. It was good to shower, to sit in the bath, and to be alone to think. The water was hot, and the bathroom so spacious. I put on my warm sweatshirt, and went out to sit at the table rather sheepishly while Namijyun and Kotaro ate snacks, drank beers, and discussed the woodwork of the table while Becca took her turn to bathe. We talked a little about snowboarding as well, and I embarrassed myself yet again with my poor Japanese language ability. Not long thereafter I went to bed. The room was so nice and warm, and cozy, and the comforter on the bed was so thick and fluffy. I fell asleep quickly after reading a bit, in the sudden and solid sleep that comes after a good cry.

I woke up to see the sunrise, then fell back asleep until about 8:30AM. By that time, it had unfortunately started to rain. I could hear the others stirring. I decided I would still attempt to go for a run, since I had brought my running clothes anyways, and I had spent so long sitting in a car. I put on my running clothes hesitantly, as well as my rain coat, then forced myself to step out the door into the rain. I wasn't especially excited about running in the cold rain, but once I got going it was very nice. I took the dirt road to the main road, which was fairly empty although a few cars whooshed past me. I ran along the shoulder, soaking in the farm fields, mountains, crossing a bridge over a little stream, and at last turning back. I felt more at peace, and I thought deeply about the night before. I found my own ideas and my confidence in myself to be strengthened by my thoughts. I felt more resolved, the deeper I thought, to live my life by the seven virtues that I hold so dear. I repeated to myself: Respect, Compassion, Humility, Courage, Wisdom, Generosity, and Honesty. These are the 7 virtues that I strive to live by. One without the others is futile. Let these virtues guide your mind and actions both--a kind heart without kind action or a kind action done with callous thoughts, neither accomplish true peace or integrity. I reminded myself of what a wonderful thing it is, to be humble and full of fascination on this earth. I am thankful that I went for a run, and to have a chance for such important reflection. I am grateful for the chance have renewed resolve, and confidence in who I am as a person. Though I am far from perfect, while in Japan I have grown not just to accept who I am, but to realize that I actually kind of like me, all problems aside! There is no better person to be than yourself. Though the rain was cold, I ran a little ways down the dirt road lined by pines, despite the mud and puddles, just to linger in that moment of crisp clarity and resolve. When I returned, the others had bathed a little. I took a quick shower. The others had cut up some apples and pears to eat for breakfast, and so I had a bite to eat as well. These were very yummy. We started packing up, and cleaning up--making sure everything looked spik and span, since it had been so nice of the owner to let us stay. We got into the car, and went over to the owner's home which was just about 100m away. We knocked on the door to say thank you to him and his darling family. I wanted to give them something to show my gratitude. But I had nothing to give. Then I remembered my phone, and the drawing I had made for the case. I scrambled to open the case before everyone could say goodbye. At the last moment I got it open, and gave the little drawing of a bear to the man's daughter. I hope that they liked it. I wanted so much to show my thankfulness. It was still raining lightly. We were headed now to the peninsula of Shiretoko. Becca drove for a time now. We were, in fact, approaching the pacific ocean! At last we spied it through the trees. Becca was so excited for it. She is a much more coastal person than I. Being born in bred in Minnesota, literally the center of a continent, I am still puzzled by oceans. They are a bit too big for me to fathom. I feel more connected to the land, although I have great reverence for the ocean. As we drove, it became more cold and windy with little wisps of snow amidst the rain drops. I learned a knew word, 'mizure', meaning 'sleet.' I would not quite call what we drove through to be true sleet, it was too light. But there was no other word for it. We stopped at a conbini to grab some warm drinks. Becca and I ventured behind it, to the rocky beach. It was probably private property, and strewn with garbage and discarded items. There was a large group of seagulls that I regrettably disturbed as well. I was very entranced by all of the stones on the beach. I have always been easily distracted by rocks. I will collect them for hours, if left unsupervised. I always pocket quite a few. There were some especially interesting green stones. Perhaps as vengeance for disturbing the seagulls, I got bird poop on my gloves while collecting stones and a splash of water on my shoes. We went back to the car and drove on to a fishing harbor. There were fishing boats packed everywhere, some quite large, and others very small. The scent of fish was rather strong. I do not actually have much fondness for the fishing industry of Japan, so I was not as excited as the others by all the boats. Still, it was a very interesting sight to sea, all the boats with their big nets and lights. We were supposed to take a road that skirted the outside of the whole peninsula of Shiretoko, but much to our dismay it was closed for the season. Fortunately, Becca managed to convince the guys to drive as far as we could. The wind was so sharp and cold when we jumped out with awe to look at some pointed rocks in the waves below. There were thin waterfalls along the rocks and forests to our left, and the ocean coastline to our right (with far off islands just visible in the grey mist). Gazing to my left into the depth of rippling mountains, grey clouds, and spectacular oaks clinging to the slopes, I wanted desperately to turn down these roads and head through the land. But I also enjoyed going along the coast, a face of this earth I am exciting to come to know better. When we at last reached to farthest point, we got out to walk around on the rocky shore. Then we had to turn back. We wanted to make it back to the world's best bakery, where we had eaten bread the day before. The drive back seemed to take quite a bit longer. It began to snow considerably, and by the time we had returned to the little onsen town near the lodge, the landscape was quite different. To our immense dismay, the bakery was all sold out by the time we made it back. I especially felt bad for the crestfallen Kotaro, especially because it was our dilly-dallying at the coast which had come between him and a mouthful of delicious bread. But we bought some souvenirs nonetheless. Across the street there was a cafe famous for its good food, but we had just missed the cut off for meals there, as well! Fortunately, they offered to put together the food that they had left. So we ended up with sandwiches on yummy flaky bread, as well as a truly scrumptious hand-made pizza. I can only imagine how incredible the actual meals are!! I bought some walnut cookies here as well, and when we got back to the car I shared them.They were so good--a little spicy, hard but not too hard, and almost dissolved in your mouth. I wish I had asked for the recipe! I also bought some green tea cookies to give to Koike-sensei. The drive back was quite harrowing in the snow, going up the tight curves of mountains in the dark. I can sense the changes in elevation in my ears (they are so sensitive to pressure changes) so I could tell as we began our climbs and descents. Kotaro, who was our fearless driver for this stretch, took the danger with a smile. His more lighthearted attitude in what was otherwise a rather tense situation was rather admirable. We listened to the artist, Macklemore, as we made the slow progress back towards Akanko. I said that I would switch drive for a time, since I had not driven since the day before. The snow had fortunately stopped by the time I took the wheel, although I was still nervous about the snow on the roads. As I learned, we were actually not yet headed back to Sapporo. In a town perhaps two hours away from Sapporo, we were actually going to meet one of Kotaro and Namijyun's friends at an Izakaya (bar-like restaurant). I wasn't especially excited to learn this, since it was already around 9PM. I also don't especially like Izakaya, because they are full of smoke, beer, and meat. The friend they met was very nice, however. And Kotaro is also always very considerate to try to look out for us vegetarians. I was actually a little pleasantly surprised when he explained that not only do I not eat meat, but I am quite strict about it and don't even enjoy the taste anymore. This is true. I have such close associations now between meat and flesh (sorry to gross others out), that I have no desire to eat it whatsoever. I often explain that when I did eat meat, I had not great love of it and that is one of the reasons it was easy for me to give, but this is not entirely true. Actually, it was mostly just hamburgers that I never liked. I can still remember a time when I thought of turkey, chicken, roast beef, and especially gyros as delicious. The taste of gyros, indeed, are my one weakness. But I am staunch in my vow not to eat meat, and I refuse to break it intentionally. Anyways, seitan gyros taste better than meat gyros though they are hard to find! I will eat fish now and again, but I do my best to avoid it because there are few products in Japan that do not secretly harbor fish. It is also meat, and as I have pointed out, the Japanese fishing business is the most notorious in the world.  As it became later and later, I felt myself feeling impatient to get on the road and back to Sapporo. I disliked the smokey air, although the imo-dango (a potato-like cake) that I ate almost made up for it. While the others were talking, I overheard in their conversation more information regarding the living arrangement of the apartment Becca would be moving to. I had not known that Becca and Kotaro would be moving in together. I realized at that moment that there is so little I am actually told, and I began to slip away into my own thoughts, becoming consumed by them and also my secret impatience to leave. Only that day had I come to terms with Becca leaving, and so to suddenly obtain this new piece of information, I was very sad. I thought we had much more than 2 hours ahead of us, actually, so it was a relief when I found out we were that close to Sapporo. The roads were slow and snowy as we drove back. I sat in back, left to my own contemplations, as I watched the snow outside. Finally, we arrived back in Sapporo. There was snow everywhere. We got to the dorm at about 2am. This is where I will stop for the moment, although it is a week behind. To write so much at once might overwhelm those of you reading, so I will break up what I have written so that it is not such a huge amount to read. More to come!

P.S. "Shiretoko" is Ainu for the end of the earth. It is also one of the farthest points east in Japan.

P.P.S. Hi Frieda! I love you!

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Many Adventures, and TRACK

11/8/2012

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This is long! But it covers many days.

The Saturday morning before last, Becca and I attended a field trip to the Tomakomai experimental forest just under two hours away from Hokkaido University. The field trip was organized by the professor of one of my HUSTEP (Hokkaido University Short Term Exchange Program) environmental science courses. Previously I had asked the professor if he would not mind Becca coming along, and he was excited for her to attend. Professor Koike also came with, and acted as a very knowledgeable tour guide. Becca and I stopped (unsuccessfully) at the post office, and then at a conbini to pick up lunch to pack with for the day. Then at 9:30AM we biked over to the International Student Center to board the Hokudai bus that was waiting for us students to arrive. We got on, and Becca was finally able to meet Koike-sensei. More and more students trickled in, maybe 14 in all, and I recognized many faces from my courses. As we headed out of Sapporo, Koike-sensei described many of the sites around us and the itinerary for the day. Koike-sensei really loves to explain things at length, and I found it somewhat humorous that the bus had a microphone and so it truly was as though he were our tour guide. As we drove, I began to get to know some of the other students better and to have conversations about the fall colors. Some students are from places where there are not four distinct seasons. I had not realized it, but of course it would be new and strange to experience the fall and the changes in plant-life. Not far out of Sapporo, we stopped for a quick bathroom break. Becca and I had fun playing music on acorns and blades of grass. Some may know of my secret grass-playing ability--many may even know the trick themselves. If you take a blade of grass--some blades are better than others, and I'm always happy to find a good one--and hold it between your thumbs, then blow into it, you can make a whistling sound. Over the years, I've tried to perfect it and now I can make a whole host of strange bird noises. Actually, I sometimes enjoy playing these noises, and seeing what kind of bird people think they hear. I can usually trick a few folks at least. Anyways, I also managed to perplex some of the students on the field trip. If we had more time at the rest stop, I would have liked to show people how to do it! Becca can perform a similar feat with acorn tops. I'd never seen that one before! Our next stop was lake Shikotsu. If you remember, Lake Shikotsu is also where I stayed with the German researchers, Koike-sensei, and some of my lab members at a Ryoukan (inn) and Onsen. In fact, I could recognize the red bridge by the shore that I had seen the morning at the inn. Everyone was very excited catching their first glimpses of the lake from the winding road.  (As an interesting side note, I learned the next day from Kotaro-san that Lake Shikotsu is also famous for ghosts.)The bus pulled into the parking lot and many of the students hurried to go see the shore. I was really happy to see their enthusiasm. The lake is surrounded by some still active volcanic domes. Not to big, of course, but as Koike-sensei pointed out, still potentially dangerous. Apparently, the lake itself is actually where part of a volcano once sat many years ago. There were shafts of sunlight breaking through the grey clouds. These are sometimes called "god's rays" or as I later looked up to refresh my physics memory, 'crepuscular rays.' There were also some people scuba-diving from the shore, and kayaking. After that, we drove a little ways to a plantation site. We pulled into a little dirt roadside and we all got out to go down the dirt path a little ways. Koike-sensei described some of the tree species to us, as well as some of their uses, and reminded us again about the 2004 typhoon that apparently did significant damage to the tree plantations in Hokkaido. (I've since heard that it also wiped out 30% of the trees on Hokkaido University's campus.) Next stop was Tomakomai, which I had in fact already visited with Koike-sensei and the Germans a couple weeks prior. Still, I was excited to come back. The weather way sunny, and I loved the feel of the warmth on my legs and skin. Before going to see some of the experiments, it was time for lunch. We took our lunches from the bus and many of us went to sit at benches and picnic tables next to the small pond. There are some salmon and ducks that live in the pond as well. Because the pond is fed by springs, Koike-sensei explained that the temperature is constant. The Tomakomai researchers have used it to conduct 1 degree (etc) warming experiments before. Becca and I sat on a bench by the pond and ate our lunch (I had inarizushi! Yum! Although not as delicious as usual, since it was from a conbini). Becca and Koike-sensei had a change to speak together at greater length. I had been excited for this, secretly, because Becca is so good at Japanese I thought that Koike-sensei would be impressed and enjoyed the opportunity. I think that I was right! They talked for quite a bit. And just as I had predicted, Koike-sensei remembered that he had brought chocolates to share and handed them out to us all. After lunch we had a little time to stroll along the pond as a group. We found the body of a beheaded salmon not far away, and I remembered that bears often eat only the heads of salmon. They find the brains delicious, it seems, but will often leave the rest of the body. Koike-sensei had only just reminded us all as the bus had entered Tomakomai experimental forest that there are bears present. I think perhaps a few students were a little nervous about it! But maybe also excited to see a bear! I really enjoyed getting to know everyone better. We returned to the Forest Museum again, and I must say once more that trees amaze me. Their abilities are simply fascinating. More than that, the diversity and beauty of life on this planet also astounds me. Next we were off to the crane experiment I spoke of with such fervor. I feel so lucky to have gotten to see it twice already. I had mentioned it to Becca, and so I was really hoping that we would get to go up into the canopy again. Sure enough, the helmets and harnesses were brought out, and up we went in groups of four! Ah, it was such a privilege. Koike-sensei explained to those on the ground about the experiment, and shared more of his seemingly boundless knowledge of plants in the area. On the way back we stopped very quickly (only for about 10 minutes) at Lake Utonai which is a bird sanctuary. There were ducks and swans sitting on the beach, generally looking cold from the wind that had grown throughout the day and the grey clouds that had moved in. On the way out, I bought a huge squash for only 200 yen. I get so excited over inexpensive vegetables. They are rare in Sapporo, but common in more rural Hokkaido. I had big plans for this squash, as you will learn. The trip was so much fun, and I am so glad that I was able to meet and learn more about many of my fellow classmates. I am so honored by the new friendships formed on this trip, and the many deep and amazing conversations.

    Although we had just returned from one adventure when we pulled back into Hokkaido University, we were actually only just about to embark upon another. That evening after running a few quick errands, eating some snacks, and showering, Kotaro picked us up from the International House. We went over to his apartment, from which point we would begin our nighttime journey to Asahikawa. It was about 10:30PM when we arrived at his apartment. The plan was to cook some late night banana gluten-free pancakes with peanut butter (and real maple syrup which we had purchased that evening) and then drive through the night to reach Asahikawa. Kotaro told us we would have some time before we needed to leave, and also Zenta needed to finish up some reading so he could join us (we forced him to come along and I am glad he did!), so we should take a nap. I wasn't too excited about the idea of a nap, because I felt it would only make me more tired rather than energize me, but Kotaro was very kind to give up their beds for me and Becca to get a couple hours of sleep. We went to bed at about 11PM and were going to wake up at about 1:30AM. I don't know if I really slept all that much, but resting is good, I suppose! At some point I must have fallen asleep, though, because Becca somehow turned into Kotaro when I woke up. She had gotten up to start the pancakes. The four of us ate banana pancake peanut butter sandwiches with the delicious syrup for our 2:30AM breakfast, then packed into the little car. I had brought my just-purchased-that-night big soft blanket. Zenta and I sat in back and it was a little chilly out, so we were happy to have it over our legs. The city was pretty empty and dark so early in the morning, and the streets were open. A little ways out of the city, Kotaro-san flicked off the headlights for a moment as a joke, and it become startlingly pitch. Resting my head back and peering through the rear window, I glanced stars and Orion. We listened to music, watched the night landscape, and drove, drove, drove. At about 4:30AM, we pulled over. We were at a little oceanside rest stop! We all got out to use the bathroom and then headed onto the sand and into the pitch black in the direction of the beach. The air was a bit chilly. There were sticks, anchors, and plastic containers strewn about. Luckily, I had my phone with me so we had a small globe of white light around us as we walked towards the ocean. Becca took off her shoes and ran around on the shore, getting her feet wet. She claimed the water was not cold at all, and Kotaro-san believing her stepped in as well. He disagreed! We made our way back to the tiny car and headed on again. As we went, the first blue hints of the coming sun started to appear in the sky. On either side of the road it was forested, with pale birch trees and dimmed fall leaves, gliding into high-climbing hill tops, and little farms. As we curved around the winding road in the hesitant light with the beautiful forest and empty road around us. Pink and faint purple ghosted across the sky in the perfect semblance of a watercolor palette. I realized at that moment that many of the beautiful sunrise and sunset skylines in Japanese art are not exaggerations, but in fact very accurate. I also remembered a comment by one of my Chinese labmates, who claimed that Japanese sunrises and sunsets looked different from her home. Whereas Minnesota generally shifts from inky black to glowing blue, and then the sun begins to climb, in Japan it seems things at least in the countryside are all delicate pastels. Or maybe I was just lucky! Becca and I really wanted to find a place to stop. The sunrise colors were hovering perfectly behind a small mountain mound. We found a straight stretch of road and jumped out. The clouds were rolling quickly along behind the crown of the hilly skyline. Towards the west the colors shifted to hot pink. The roads were empty and silent. It was wonderful. We had a ways to go, and we climbed into the car again. Now the sun was breaking over the horizon and the mountains ahead of us, a tiny brilliant yellow and white sphere. I watched it as we went, until the day was at last upon us. Kotaro had switched with Becca to drive for a while, because he had driven all night. Eventually, we stopped at a conbini in a small town. Kotaro grabbed a bite to eat, and while we waited I showed Becca the upsetting trailer to the upcoming Lone Ranger and Tonto film. I never imagined such a thing would happen, to reinvigorate that awful old story. We were both upset about it. Everyone began to seem very sleepy except for me, for whatever reason. I felt pretty well awake. Kotaro admitted that his eyes kept closing as he drove, so I offered to switch. I had brought my International Driver's License with me, after all. Since we were in such a rural area, I decided that although I was very apprehensive, I ought to take my chance to drive now. It felt very odd to sit down behind the wheel. When I shifted into drive, I didn't realize the emergency break was on either, so that was embarrassing! I also kept confusing the blinker with (which is on the LEFT?) and the windshield wiper (which is on the RIGHT?). I was also very nervous that I would end up on the wrong side of the road. But I had tried to observe everything and acclimate to the roads as Kotaro drove, and since I was so nervous I think I was extra cautious. I just told myself, keep the driver's side towards the line. Fortunately, Zenta stayed awake in the passenger seat to help with the directions. I had no idea which way to drive or what turns to take, so thank goodness for that. Since the speedometer is in km/hr and not m/hr, I tried to take my cues from the drivers around me. But in general the speed limit signs were between 50km/hr and 80km/hr on larger roads, which is actually fairly slow compared to the United States. We passed through Asahikawa, which is a bit of a city, and I was sure apprehensive on these streets. The stoplights I feel are very small and hard to spot, but also numerous, so I was afraid I would miss one. Fortunately, I was vigilant. We exited the city again (although we had to make a few turn arounds not knowing the exact route because the snoozing Kotaro-san was actually our navigator), passed through more lovely farmland, down smaller roads, and then Zenta-san told me we were there, and I should pull over in front of a gate. The gate was closed for the moment, but beyond it was a cluster of sprawling forest center buildings, a large hilltop for skiing behind it, and a little golf/croquet course. It was still early in the morning, so we had to wait until about 8:30 when the center would open. When it did, we parked and headed towards a building with Kotaro-san leading the way. We still had absolutely no idea what we were going to do at this place. Kotaro had only told us that we would be headed towards Asahikawa, so both Becca and are were a little bewildered. We entered what seemed to be a main building, with a little gift shop attached. It looked like a place where little classes or demonstrations might be held. A few more people and folks that I assumed to be staff milled about. Then everyone there, maybe about 15 people, formed a circle and the staff leader started to talk. I still had absolutely no clue what was going on or why we were there. The leader spoke in Japanese, of course, and although I could understand strings of what she said, for the most part I listened in confusion. Everyone went around one by one to introduce themselves. Following Kotaro's example, Becca and I said that we were Hokudai students and named our research departments. It felt very odd to introduce myself for something I knew absolutely nothing about--for all I knew, we could be going on a hike, helping with forestry, mountain climbing, building a house. Who knew! My best guess, though, was that it had something to do with wood. Kotaro wants to become a woodworker, and so I tried to piece things together. Because of this interest, we were put into a group with some of the "artists" who had introduced themselves as wood workers from what I had understood in Japanese. We were brought across the sidewalk to a large, wide-windowed building with a view of the fields outside. It was chilly, and they started the stove in the building, and started rearranging tables and bringing in some craft supplies. I would have liked to have been more helpful, except I still had no idea what was happening. Eventually a vague image of our purpose there began to form. It seemed that the forest center was hosting some sort of activity day for local children and families, in order to learn about forest products and forests in general. There were three artists in the "wood" group--one was a very tall, slender, artsy hipster kind of fellow in a cap who said he would help to make wooden toy cars. The next was a broad-shouldered middle aged man who would help to make wooden dolls. The last was a slim older fellow with big rimmed glasses and a shock of grey, tousled hair. He would teach how to make wooden animals out of wooden blocks. For those of you who know my uncle Gaylord, I swear to you this man was his Japanese doppelganger. We were supposed to learn the steps to these crafts first in order to help the kids who were to arrive. I was overwhelmed by this prospect a bit--I had no idea how to build these things! Fortunately, as it turns out, the crafts were very simple. First the broad-shouldered man showed us how to make "dolls" out of sticks. You shave off the bark at the tip, carve it into a point, then drill some holes to thread string through for arms and legs. It was beyond me why you would want to teach a kid to sharpen a stick into a point for the head of the doll. I told Becca that I feel as though most kids do this on their own, and it's generally considered a BAD IDEA. The tall, slender fellow next showed us his crafts--one was a box of sticks that you could puzzle together in a criss-cross pattern, which would fall apart when you removed the correct stick. It was meant for kids, but it was too tricky for me. The other involved a box full of various wooden blocks and pieces which you could assemble into a car. He could tell that I was very overwhelmed, I think, partly because I was so quiet. He handed me a sign and told me to hold it, but not to look at it. I wasn't sure what was going on. Then he told me to take a picture with him, while holding the sign. I was dubious. He showed me the picture--the sign read "Free Hugs." That made me laugh, and definitely cheered me up. My first impression of this slender man, when everyone had introduced themselves in a circle, was that he was a bit standoffish. It turned out that he was actually incredibly kind, quirky, and really sweet with kids. Actually, all three of the artists had very unique personalities, but were so kind. I was still a little hollow myself while there, mostly because I wasn't really sure how I could help. I hate situations when there isn't something useful I can contribute. I tried to preoccupy myself with making the crafts. I aimlessly carved a wooden block, while I felt very much scrutinized by three Japanese ladies who somewhat rudely talked amongst themselves as to whether or not they thought I spoke Japanese. I absolutely HATE being watched closely while working on something, by the way. For whatever reason, I really shut down, and don't do much of anything in such instances. I carved even more aimlessly, because when watched I'm not generally able to plan things artistically as I normally might. When I kept looking up at the ladies when their conversation touched upon me, they realized that I could speak. I told them I understood some Japanese, but oddly enough they just continued talking about me off and on. They stuck around in the class room for quite a while. My wooden block ended up looking like a horses head, somehow, so I stuck it onto a base, gave it some wheels, and that was that. The hours passed fairly slow. Eventually, I tried my hand at making a wooden animal. I drew the design onto a wooden block. You were then supposed to cut carefully along the lines with a jigsaw. This seemed like the most fun of all the three crafts, because you ended up with a toy animal! Unfortunately, I had to end up deferring to the run ladies before I could carve mine, since they were technically the guests. I would normally have been just fine with that, except I was still a little annoyed with those ladies. We ended up going to lunch anyways. Apparently, the ramen from the area we were in is renowned for being delicious. So we went to get ramen. The restaurant was tiny, and packed. Even worse, some even more rude ladies actually budged us! Eventually, we got to sit down. Everyone ordered so quick, I hadn't really even gotten a chance to look at the menu. One thing that tends to bother me is that, being a vegetarian, people often tend to make decisions for me even if I don't necessarily want them to. This happened again, which made me a little down, but no one had meant to do it so I understood. On the tiny television on the wall there was a girl's ekiden (distance relay) being shown. I want so badly to run one. The ramen was pretty good, though nothing to get too excited about. There were of course "meat bits" floating in it, which is always obnoxious. I gave them to Kotaro. Still, since it was chilly out, I was happy for a good meal. We returned to the workshop, where I finished my wooden animal (a bear) very very very slowly and unskillfully. Actually, I feel that mostly the spectacled-man directed the block, and I tried not to cut the block to pieces. He was very patient as I continuously went off of the guidelines I had drawn. We both silently concurred that I had no natural talent with jigsaws. I think if left on my own, I would have done better. As I mentioned before, I really freeze up under close scrutiny. Still, I was happy with my wooden bear. By about 3:30PM we started wrapping things up. Yet again, I had no clue as to how to help, which is such an awful feeling of uselessness. I dislike to appear as though I do not want to help. But there was not much for me to do except shuffle my feet. Finally, after wasting time, and helping Kotaro finish icecream, we all circled up as at the beginning, thanked everyone, and at last we were free. To be sure, it was fun to help out, but it certainly began to get long (we were there from 8:30AM to 4:00PM). Becca and Zenta had already konked out in the car while Kotaro and I attended the thank you's and closing remarks. Kotaro asked if we should stop at an onsen on the way back, and I was excited to do so since it was chilly. He really wanted to find one too. There was one right on the top of the ski hill, and he drove the car up to the top. But Becca and Zenta were too tired and so we ended up just heading back towards Sapporo. The drive back felt very long, and of course it gets dark so early. It started raining some on the homeward journey, and also a piece of the front bumper started falling off of our car, so it was a bit of a dreary ride back. Still, I have to express my true gratitude to Kotaro again, for being so willing to take along and for being such a friendly, welcoming person.

On the Monday before last, in the morning I did some grocery shopping with Becca. While packing my groceries into my backpack (I refuse to use the plastic bags that are so abundant here in Japan) and looking down, I could see someone out of the corner of my eye set their basket down on the table. A man's voice said "konnichiha!" I thought, how odd, who could it be? It was Satoh-san, one of our building supervisors! He is by far the friendliest and quirkiest of the three building supervisors, who rotate daily. Whenever I see him, as I come and go from the main entrance, he always says hello and talks with me. Especially, he is impressed when I go out for a run, concurring with me that "yes!Your health is the most important thing!" I'm often doing odd things when I run into him, like being that weirdo who does wall-sits on the outside of the dormitory building. I love talking with him! In fact, you may remember, when I returned from the apple orchard, I brought an apple just for him since we had spoken about my plan to go to an orchard. It made me so happy that he came up and said hello! Becca came over too, and we talked for a little while before heading back to the dorm. I tried to squeeze in a run just before my 4:45 lecture plans. When I got back, I ran into Satoh-san again. He always asks "how long did you run this time?". I told him since I had class soon, not very far, and he informed me that I was truly "erai" ("excellent/well-minded") to go running before class. As I walked through the main entrance, I peeked into my mailbox. To my great pleasure, I found two letters! They made me so happy to read. I changed quick, packed my giant squash into my backpack, and headed off towards the agricultural building. At 4:45PM, I was to attend Mao-san's second PhD defense examination. Koike-sensei had invited myself, Diao, and Nana to attend. The other attendees were a handful of very stern looking Japanese professors. It was such a tense environment, and after Mao-san presented her project and explained everything (very well, I thought!) they started asking her extremely specific chemistry questions to test her knowledge. We all felt that their questions were a little harsh and unfair. Mao-san did her best to stay calm. It was also a little unfair because, while everyone was using English, some terminology and questions that the professors used they could not properly express in English, and still wanted Mao-san to answer. I felt frustrated for her. But in the end, I still think she did well. After the examination, Diao-san and I had plans to cook together. We stopped briefly at a grocery store so I could pick up cinnamon, which I had forgotten in my room. I planned to make squash with marshmallows on top. Diao-san planned to make vegetable curry and pudding. The Chinese residents using the kitchen at that time, I think, were a little amused when I boiled the squash and then mashed it up like potatoes. I felt that they were watching my cooking with bemusement. I added cinnamon, brown sugar, and butter, and tried to explain what these ingredients were. Everyone was also amused by the marshmallows. Normally, I would lay them out on the top of the squash and put it in the oven so that they become toasted brown. However, there was no normal oven, so I just melted the marshmallows and put them on top. The dinner turned out so well. Diao-san's curry was absolutely delicious. She used chinese peppers from home in it, and she said they turned out much spicier than she had anticipated, but I'm not like most Minnesotans! I like spice! Afterwards, we even ran into Magali and one of the French exchange students who had just received chocolates in the mail. So for dessert we had some yummy french chocolates too! So good. I was in such a great mood as I got on my bike to head back to the dorm afterwards, that I actually missed my turn and got really lost on my simple (straight line!!!!) ride. I was lost for about 20 minutes, even though I was only really a few blocks off. It was dark, and I couldn't get my bearings. I was so frustrated--it had been such a great evening, and I just wanted to get back. It was as if I had been transported to a completely different place. But at last, I made it back. I had enough squash left to eat for many days thereafter.

Tuesday was rather quiet. I went to Kanji class, had a quiz, mailed some important letters, paid my water bill. That evening I worked on another painting. I shared some squash with Becca, too. We agreed to try to meet to go find the gym after class the next day. I brought my gym gear with me to my grammar class on Wednesday morning. Unfortunately, Becca ended up going early while I was still in class because she wanted to make sure she would be ready for her 1PM class and that she could finish a lot of homework. But she still met me to show me the way to the gym. It was definitely not where I thought it was. There is a building labeled 'gym' on the main street, but this building was actually tucked far away, next to the track. In the building, there is no women's locker room!!! There is a men's locker room, but the women have to change in the women's shower room/bathroom. The men have BOTH a shower room AND a locker room. I was furious when I learned this. I feel that as far as athletics go, Japan is stuck in the 1970s--maybe even before that. Although there are some girls who participate in sports and athletics, it is far less common here. Whereas in the United States, for most sports such as soccer or track there are just about even numbers of men's and women's teams (even if sports coverage in the U.S. is still utterly sexist). From what I've gathered, girls don't participate on sports teams when they are kids as often as in the U.S. When we went into the gym, at that time, we were the only girls. I did my best to do some good pull ups and lift heavy weights to make a point. Still, I feel that if I don't have a clear workout assignment, when amongst weights and gym equipment I just jump around, doing a bit of everything, but mostly just enjoying doing a pull up here, lifting a weight there, and testing things out. It was bright and sunny, and still only about noon when I left. I ended up falling asleep for a nap when I got back. Then, because Magali had given me the track team's webpage earlier, I finally worked up the courage to write them an email.

On Thursday morning, I had Kanji class. The professor switches topics very quickly and unpredictably, and I am finding this rather disorienting. But I am so glad to have Magali as a classmate. And I do feel that I am learning some, which is good. The Kanji class, if you might remember, is the one whose level I was fortunately able to choose myself. After class, I went to search for watercolor paper (and some gifts), since I have run out. I seemed to remember that at one of the stores in Sapporo Station I had seen large sheets of Arches watercolor paper. At the time, I thought the sheets were much too large. But I decided that since I could not find very large booklets of paper, this might be my best (only) option. It was actually rather exasperating trying to explain to the workers in the art section of the store. They didn't seem too enthusiastic about helping me, even if they pretended to be friendly. I kept trying to explain that the booklets they have are not quite big enough for what I need, and do you have any larger sheets? Eventually, the lady took out a binder of papers. Luckily, there were some Arches samples. Unfortunately, as I thoroughly felt each sample, none of them are very thick. This fact is still disappointing to me, because Japan has one of the longest and most prestigious paper-making histories. I guess I will have to find a specialty shop. As it turns out, they actually DID have a few large watercolor booklets, but the textures all felt a little fake and thin to me. Still, I settled for one. Hopefully it will work out alright. When I got back, I fell asleep for a nap again! By the afternoon, it was raining (it ALWAYS rains here). I told Becca that I was feeling that I should eat some fish. I can generally detect when my body needs a good dose of fish. My muscles start to get a little weak, I become a bit less coordinated, and I can't think as clear. I only get this feeling after a long span without eating fish, and I realized it had been quite a few months since I had eaten any. Because Japan is famous for seafood, and because there are pictures of salmon all over the place here in Sapporo, I mistakenly assumed that it should be a simple task to locate plain cooked fish. Not so. Apparently everything is either raw or fried whole (bones, eyes, skin, and all). I don't especially like either of these forms. All I wanted was a plain piece of cooked fish! Becca and I searched Sapporo Station for a while, but it did not seem promising. I think that I may still be able to find something (maybe 'saba misoni') but I felt I was wasting too much time and I didn't want to keep Becca so I conceded to just buy a piece of cooked salmon from the department store grocery store and eat it at home. I hadn't wanted to buy a piece of fish to bring back to the dorm, because my room is so small and cooking fish is so stinky. So I was pretty disappointed. But oh well! Eating the fish helped, I could tell in the following days.

On Friday, I attended my grammar class, then my lecture in the evening. Perhaps the most exciting news is that the track coach emailed me back! I had asked if there was any possibility that international students could also participate in practices. Although he warned that I must be seriously dedicated to join, I was very happy to hear that it seemed it would be okay for me to attend! I was admittedly intimidated by his response and the dauntingly large time commitment that I felt was expected. I know how many hours are spent dedicating oneself to a sport, and I was unsure if I would be able to replicate this now that I am supposed to be so focused on my main goal--research. I shared my misgivings with Magali (and Becca the night before). She encouraged me just to go try. Becca had reminded me the night before that I constantly talk about track, and it would be ridiculous for me not to try. It is true, I love track so much. But I also had a secret worry--my track experience at St. Olaf was so dear to me. The past summer was such a difficult transition for me, losing something so important to me, and I worked hard to set my mind towards moving on. After arriving in Japan, I have been making progress to accept that my dear track days at St. Olaf are beyond me. Though I should always keep trying to run, I know that things are never going to be the same. So the notion of reinvigorating something that is so dear to me was not only daunting, but also something I was not entirely sure was a wise idea. Maybe it would be a step backwards, into something that I will never truly be able to recreate. I thought to myself, perhaps I am grasping too hard at a memory from which I should really move on. However, I think that the fact that I start to GRIN just reading or thinking of a track workout answered my question about whether or not I should go. I love track. I will have to remember to keep a level head, to realize that this is a different team and a different experience, but nonetheless a chance that I know many of my teammates would consider me a fool to pass up. Because I have lectures on Wednesdays and Fridays, I asked the coach if I could go to my first practice on Saturday morning, and he said that would be fine. After my lecture,  it was stormy, rainy weather. Magali and I were planning to meet after our evening classes (at 6:30PM) to go to the gym together. The weather was so windy and frightful, but I biked back hurriedly from class to change into running clothes. I packed a little bag with a spare pair of shoes (you have to change when you enter the gym) and decided to run into the night towards the gym. I didn't want to bring my bike, because I hate getting it all wet and I wanted to run a bit. Boy was it tough, forging onwards in the dark through the strong wind, the cars splashing past at high speed, and the cold thin rain. It was also uncomfortably running carrying my bag. I looked absolutely insane.  As I neared the gym, I could vaguely see Magali in the distance. I was happy to see her. She is actually very ambitious as far as workouts go, and so I had a great time. Regrettably, I have lost almost all of my muscles, and so doing abs was a stark reminder that if you don't use it , you lose it. I felt so weak, knowing what I used to be capable of. But I intend to regain my muscle. I passionately discussed track and field races with Magali, who also runs. I may have overdone it a bit with the lifting that we did, especially considering that the track coach wrote that the prescribed email for Saturday would be 2x6x200m. (Meaning basically, run 200 meters 12 times fast). I told Magali I was especially nervous because I haven't run a track workout since May. My legs are not in shape in the least. Certainly not in sprinting shape. But as with most things in my life, I feel like it comes down to me just jumping in. The run back was equally frightful. I popped into the grocery store to grab some dinner supplies, and felt awkward wearing my running tights and soaking running clothes from the rain. But since I am a foreigner, at least I am living up to the expectation that I will be weird.

Saturday morning's practice was at 9:15AM. I was very nervous all night, and I had trouble sleeping. I didn't want to oversleep and miss the practice! All week I had been waking up around 6:30AM, so I knew I was tired.  Even so, I woke up early to eat a little cereal, then I put on my running clothes. I could feel the nervousness and anticipation in my limbs. It was a very tough moment, and I kept telling myself, "just go, just go, just go." I had to remind myself that there would be no harm in scoping things out. The misgivings I described above kept floating in and out of my head. I walked out the door, locked it, and headed to my bike. Once the track was in sight, I would not let myself turn back even though I was scared. I parked my bike, and walked through the gate onto the grass by the dirt track. There were some members in warm up suits, and after standing for a moment looking out of place, I asked someone if this was the track team (knowing that it was) and to my relief, the runners who trickled in were all friendly. A girl arrived, and this made me much more relieved. She was very friendly and spoke some English, though I did my best to speak Japanese. Because of the hard rains the night before, the dirt track was covered with large puddles. Runners were trying to scoop the water away with shovels, mop it up with rags, and push it away with rakes. It seemed a rather futile process, but I grabbed a shovel and tried to help. The Hokkaido University track, as mentioned, is not the normal surface but good old dirt. It's real beat up looking, and doesn't have any lanes drawn. But oh well! I warmed up with the girl I had met, who turned out to be a distance runner. She pointed out the only female middle-distance runner (and 800 runner). I introduced myself to her. Then I was pretty much left on my own to to drills and strides. Although everyone met to start practice at 9:15AM (standing in a circle, making announcements, and bowing), there was a lot of time allocated for warming up. The workout itself would not begin until 10:30AM. I've always been someone who can warm up pretty quick if need be (though if I anticipate it, longer warm ups are good). So I shuffled around a lot, repeating most of the same things. It felt very odd to be doing drills. I even, I am embarrassed to say, had trouble remembering my old routine. I also was nervous about getting in people's way. I wanted to make sure I appeared to know what I was doing, at least a little. I was very nervous (though deep down, excited for the challenge) about the workout. I knew I was in no great track condition. Usually I also do cross country in the fall, and so by the time fall track rolls around I've got a bit of endurance under my belt, even if the track muscles are lacking. I've just been jogging around over the summer. I tried to explain this to the runners, but the Japanese season does not line up with the American track season, so I don't think they quite understood my apprehension. I told the middle-distance runner I would do my best! She said I should try the first set, then see how I felt. No one told me what pace the 200s would be, so when we started, I just took off with her. As it turns out, she had lifted the day before, so her legs weren't feeling especially quick. This probably saved me. I was able to stick with her, though I could tell my speed endurance was pitiful. There was 15 whole minutes of rest in between the sets, though! I've always forced myself to recover pretty quick, so this saved me too. I did the second set as well. Everyone was really nice. After the workout, some of the sprinter girls (there is only a handful of girls on the whole team, maybe 6 compared to a heck of a lot of guys) introduced themselves excitedly. They are all so friendly. Hanako-san, the middle distance runner, explained to me that for Sunday's practice we would not be meeting at the Hokkaido University track, but in fact about a 35 minute subway ride away at a track with a real surface. She told me to meet her at one of the subway stops along the way at 8AM. After practice, I biked back to the dorm, ate lunch, met Becca to do some grocery shopping, and then at 3PM we were scheduled to go to Mao-san's apartment to cook together. By this point it was raining, yet again. My plan was to cook apple pie, since her kitchen has a microwave oven. As it turns out, she lives in one of the buildings just across from me. Because the other apartment buildings are being renovated, currently she gets to live in a family size apartment all to herself, and for cheaper rent even than my 200 yen a month. Becca and I gaped at all the glorious space she has compared to our broom closets. We are considering just saying that we are married and moving in, ha! Becca and I got to work on the pie, while Mao-san and Diao-san, who also came over, started cooking so many different vegetable dishes. Mao-san's refrigerator is chock full of all sorts of fresh vegetables. I had written out a recipe for the pie filling and crust, but as it happens, Mao-san did not have a measuring cup so I ended up mostly guessing, after some failed attempts to measure things in plastic containers (all in metric measurements). I get a little sheepish cooking in groups, and I think I probably cook much more intelligently and efficiently on my own, but I think I did alright. Becca cut up the apples I brought, and after I finished the dough for the crust she flattened it into the pie pan while I started cooking the ingredients to go in the filling (mostly sugar). I was so excited, because it looked great. We put it into the microwave oven, and all the correct lights went on, and it began to bake! Meanwhile, Mao-san and Diao-san were finishing up the vegetable dishes (I think that they cooked all vegetables specifically because Becca and I don't eat meat! That was so kind of them!). Nana-san and her roommate, Wao-san, arrived in the meantime and we all sat down to eat. Mao-san is such a great cook. I admired how easily she shifted from cooking one dish to another. The food laid out on the table looked spectacular. There was an egg-tomato dish, stir fried carrots/onions/peppers/potatoes, battered tofu, fried squash "balls", soup, and rice. I am so grateful to all the many people who have shared meals with me so far---it has been a true treat to try meals from China, Japan, and my silly psuedo-American dishes as well. Diao-san has been closely observing my American recipes, and I'm really proud to say that she has picked them up! I found out that a few days later she attempted an apple pie, and from the picture it looked amazing. I told her, won't her family be surprised when she returns to China and can cook them the most famous American food of all, apple pie. Anyways, the meal was just as delicious as it looked. And just as we finished eating, the oven rang--the pie was done. I was so excited. We put it on the table (I must say, it looked quite beautiful), cut it up into 6 big pieces, and were about to begin when I remarked that I ought to have picked up vanilla ice cream since that is often how it is eaten. Mao-san said that she actually had ice cream in the freezer, and she shared this with us. So we had a true American apple pie for dessert. Nana-san asked us a little more about the Fulbright Program, and if we received stipends. When we told her we did, and that it is funded by the U.S./Japanese governments she pointed out that she was therefore eating apple pie courtesy of the U.S. government. We all talked for quite some time, about the upcoming election, my extreme dislike for the platform of the republican party, health care in the U.S., China, and Japan, and many other things. It is such a wonderful feeling to learn and share about other countries in such a friendly, kind environment. Before we knew it, it was already past 8PM. Since I had another early morning practice the next day, I needed to head back to my room. We all departed, with promises to cook together again. I told everyone to think of their favorite fruit and that I would bake a pie for them.

On Sunday morning, bright and extremely early I awoke to prepare to go to my second day of track practice at the mysterious and far away sports center.  At 6AM, I made myself a bowl of cereal to make sure I wasn't running on an empty stomach. I curled up under my blankets while I ate, and made a checklist in my head for what to bring. The weather, as it has been for almost a week, was raining rather hard again outside my window. I put on some long running tights, a St. Olaf track t-shirt and some long-sleeve shirts, then my bright green raincoat (plus my baseball cap). In my backpack I threw a few extra clothes, just in case. I placed my precious sheet of notebook paper, with Hanako's phone number and drawing of the subway platform, carefully inside my bag. Then at 7AM on the dot, I headed out the door, not really confident in my ability to navigate the subway system, and not entirely sure I had correctly understood the directions. The sidewalks were almost empty on an early, rainy, Sunday morning, although there were a few early-risers here and there. I looked odd, I am sure, walking around in my raincoat, black tights, and running shoes. All of the runners on the team have nifty warm up suits that they wear to practice, with their tights underneath. They only wear the tights when actually at the workout. So I stick out quite a bit. I have no doubt that I looked strange wearing them walking about the streets and in the station. Japanese fashion quirks aside, such close-fitting clothes are rather uncommon--the trend of walking around in "leggings", which was so regrettably popular in the U.S., has yet to catch on here. I entered the station, wandered around a bit to get down to the subway, then made an educated guess as to the line I should take to reach the platform at the Oodori station where Hanako -san said she would meet me. Fortunately, I was correct. I made it there with about 20 minutes to spare, so I waited around, and wandered to the platform. At just about 8AM, Hanako'san hopped off the subway, then came over to meet me. I was so relieved. I hadn't wanted to cause any worry or trouble if we couldn't find each other. We got back on the subway, and it took about 7 stops to reach our goal, Oyachi. We got off and exited the station into the heavy wind and rain. It was quite a long walk from the station to the track, which turned out to be a Sports Center--the Atsubetsu Sports Center to be precise. It is a very large stadium, with a lovely track in the middle. I could feel the anticipation in my heart growing as we came nearer and nearer. You have to pay about 300yen to use the track, so we paid our entrance fee, then went over to a little area with a few cramped indoor lanes, and glass sliding doors looking out upon the track. There were many other teams there warming up, as well as some very young kids, perhaps around ten years old, all looking especially cute and practicing. Rinko-san, a sprinter, was joining us for the workout. The three of us warmed up together in the chilly weather. I explained that in Minnesota, it is probably already much colder. I hadn't entirely understood the description the day before, but I knew it had something to do with 600m. As it turns out, we were doing 3 sets of 600m+walk 200m, sprint 200m. It seems to be that there is never a "goal time" for these intervals, just go fast. I still feel as though there is so much time between the start of practice, warm up, and the start of the workout, so although I tried to pass the time doing drills and staying warm it was tough to keep thinking of things to do. Finally, it was time to start. The girls start at the same time as the guys, so we all walked over to the 200m start, lined up, and took off! I still had no idea whatsoever as to the time I should be aiming for, so I just tucked in behind Hanako and did my best to get my slow legs moving again. 600m felt tough, but not too tough--though I was definitely aware that my legs were sluggish and the times were slow (to my great shame, about a 2 minute 600). Then we walked back to the 200m start and took off sprinting. In between the sets there was a remarkable 15 minute rest. This is so strange to me, because 15 minutes is an immensely long recovery time--usually at the practices I am used to, the rest will not be more than 5 minutes. 15 minutes I would say is more than a full recovery! So this, yet again, saved me. My legs are not in good enough shape otherwise. But I am determined to become fast. I managed, over my four years at Olaf, to work up some speed by the end of my career and I just hope I didn't misplace it permanently. The rain poured on and off as the dark clouds rolled by. During one rest, a rainbow actually appeared, only to be followed by more rain, and some sun showers to boot. I felt bad for the distance group, running 3k repeats in the rain. The wind on the backstretch was very strong, as well. In the end, I was able to keep up, and so I was satisfied. Workouts at Olaf generally included three parts, the running, the core, and the lifting. So far, practices here are mostly running. We don't all do core together. So I'll have to be mindful of this on my own. We cooled down, and headed back. By this time it was about 11:30AM. Hanako-san and Rinko-san took the subway back with me. I am so happy to have met them both--they are both incredibly kind and fun people. In fact, they asked me what kinds of foods I like to eat in order to organize a welcome party for me. We got to my stop, and I waved goodbye to them. It was not about 12:30. Magali and I had earlier made plans to try to bike to the ocean that day. Because track practice was so far away, I had told her we would have to wait until 1PM if I could make it back. Luckily, she had lots of homework to work on so it was okay. I felt bad nonetheless. I sent her a message to tell her I had returned, and asked if she was still up for a bike ride in such awful weather. She's really a trooper, because she said she sure was! So I stopped quick into a Mister Donut to buy her and I a treat, then speed-walked back to the International House in the rain to suit up. And by suit up, I really mean suit up. The stormy weather was the perfect occasion for me to test out my bright orange rain pants, which I had bought very cheap because they were XL and no one in Japan is XL (though curiously still too short for me). I just pulled the draw strings tight, and they were perfect. I wore these, with my bright green raincoat, my baseball cap, and my hiking boats. I looked ridiculous. But better ridiculous than soaking wet. Then I ran out the door to hop back on my bike. By this point, I actually hadn't eaten anything since my breakfast at 6AM. Biking into the strong wind, I could feel that my muscles were just plain out of gas. So although I was in a hurry, I didn't move too quick. I didn't make it by my 1PM goal, and was a little late which I felt so bad about. As I neared the International House 23 where Magali lives (quite a ways west from me) I spied her waiting under the bridge. She is such a cheerful person, I really enjoy speaking with her. I pulled up, apologized for being late, and gave her a pumpkin donut to eat in the rain before we took off. I told her about track practice enthusiastically, and she very patiently tolerated my enthusiasm. She plans to join in the spring, once her foot injury has some time to heal. I'm very excited for this. We took off into the rain, biking along the Shinkawa river. This is the same route to find the ocean that I took when I first arrived in Sapporo. The Shinkawa river/road starts off as a spindly run-off creek but grows wider the farther you go in the direction of the ocean. The rain and wind were so strong, and the cars zooming past in the streets were extremely loud. We moved down by the river path to bike, for some shelter from the cars, but the construction that begins about half-way on the route, and which I had run into before, was still there and still in the way. My legs were really tired from not having had a chance to stop moving, or to eat a meal, since early in the morning so that combined with the gusts of winds made it tough going. I felt so bad for Magali, because unlike me in my rain jumpsuit, she was only wearing a raincoat and jeans. She was soaked before we were even half way there. It became so windy and rainy that we could barely proceed forward. We stopped, not knowing whether to press on or turn back, and stood in the pouring rain on the side of the road indecisively. I knew from last time that we still had such a long way to go. Magali asked what I thought, and I admitted that we had best turn back. On a sunny day, such as the day I had biked there, it is about a 50 minute ride to the ocean going at a good clip. I knew that at the snail pace we were going into the harsh wind it would take us hours. Magali was also soaked, and I knew if we went too far and the weather did not improve she would be freezing on the way back. For both our sakes, we agreed that it was the right decision to stop fighting the weather and turn back. The wind was so strong at our backs that it literally pushed us homewards. I barely had to peddle to keep moving. We both looked forward to some warm tea (cocoa in my case) in our cozy rooms. When I got back, I had to laugh at how ridiculous I appeared covered in rain and mud. I parked my bike, went inside, and tried to warm up.  That evening for dinner, because I had many vegetables left over from going to Mao-san's house, I attempted to cook Soup Curry. I failed, I would say, because it didn't taste especially good. I was on the right track, but just when it was tasting great I added too much water. It's hard to save something once you've made it taste to thin. But it was a pretty good dinner nonetheless.
On Monday morning I was finally able to sleep in. I woke up at the glorious time of 9:30AM instead of 6 or 7AM. During the day, I ran some errands, and went to the lab and studied some of the papers Koike-sensei has given me. At 2:50PM, Mao-san was to meet me at the lab so we could go together to hear the PhD lecture of a student from the Phillipines name Maricle-san who had come to Hokudai the same time as she had. We walked over to the building, which I had never been to before. We got there just before they were about to start. Maricle-san's lecture was on a long term experiment of clear-cutting and the CO2 emissions and time it takes to make up for these emissions by replanting. Her lecture was amazing. I should mention, by the way, that Maricle-san is about 5 feet tall and speaks with a Phillipines accent, using very endearing English phrases like "let us get the ball rolling." I was so impressed by her knowledge and her work. Afterwards Mao-san and I waited a bit for her to finish being questioned by the PhD panel. Mao-san wanted to say hello. Although I did not know her, I was so happy when the professors emerged and informed that she had "passed sailing." (I was not sure what phrase the professor meant to use in English, except that it was good!). After Marcile-san's lecture, we headed back to the agricultural building for a lecture with Koike-sensei on water relations and photosynthesis in plants. I enjoyed this lecture especially, and it was all around a good evening for higher education. After the lecture, Becca and I met at the Indian restaurant that we love. I managed to bike there all by myself again to meet her, even with my sore leg and butt muscles from the track workout. The waiter was happy to see us, and even the cooks recognized us. We were both especially amused when, after the waiter spoke to us a bit about part time jobs, he asked us if we were looking for one. We are not allowed to work, given our Student Visa status and it is also a rule of the Fulbright Program. So we explained that unfortunately, we couldn't. He told us it was a shame, because the place next door was looking for workers, and could we work maybe just once a week. We asked him what exactly the job was. It turns out it would be serving snacks and sake to old men at a bar! Though I was flattered to be offered the job, we both said no way! I'm sure it would be some experience, and to be honest I was just a tiny bit tempted, but I knew it would not be especially enjoyable. The waiter sure is a quirky guy. To make up for offering us such a job, he brought us free lassi (which he sometimes surprises us with). I sure do love that place!

On Tuesday morning I had a Kanji quiz. On Monday night after returning from the Indian restaurant I had done quite bit of studying, so it went smoothly I felt. It was obnoxious, however, to have soaking wet pants and feet yet again from my rainy bike ride. My bike tires spray me with water and leaves from the street as I ride, so I always look a mess when I arrive in such weather. After class, I bought some delicious "melon-pan" from the cafeteria bakery (it is actually becoming quite an addiction of mine). Melon-pan, by the way, is a circular buttery bread, with sugar cookie dough baked on top. It is wonderful. Because I was so nervous about the presidential election, after class and after paying my water bill at a conbini I planned to bike to Hokkaido Shrine to ask the gods for a favor and to express my gratitude for just how lucky I am to have a chance to be here in Japan, and for the happiness I have shared recently. I was so so so nervous about the election. Although the skies were grey, the rain held off for once. This made it my first visit to a shrine without (large) raindrops. I feel very comfortable at the beautiful Maruyama park outside the shrine and on the lovely, peaceful paths at the shrine. I have felt recently that I must get out of the city, and at least being at the shrine helped me to stay calm. It was not busy, because it was a weekday. I tried to make sure to bow in all the right places. I washed my hands and mouth before entering, then walked up to the main shrine to throw in a handful of coins. I bowed, clapped, and wished as hard as I could for President Obama to be re-elected and to express say thank you for all the wonderful experiences I have been privileged to have. The shrine is a home for the Japanese gods, but I thought, heck, they could maybe help! As I left, I bowed and made wishes at a smaller shrine to say thank you again. After passing through the gate, I walked my bike over to a bench under some trees, around whose feet were strewn a brilliant array of fallen leaves. I took out the "melon-pan" I had bought, and ate it peacefully under these trees. It was a really lovely morning, and I continued to feel grateful and humble. Then I biked back to the International House along the main street, observing some of the many bakeries I hope to stop at someday. I tried to finish up some things inside, and then at 4:40PM I had track practice. Since I can't come on Wednesdays and Fridays, key workout days for middle distance, I join the sprinters on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Because of the hard rain outside, the sprinters were doing a circuit inside the small gym. This involved jumping ('bounding') around the gym, running with a rope tied around your waste, and various other challenges. Gina, my teammate from track at St. Olaf, would have loved it. I am absolutely dreadful at jumping, as any of my teammates can confirm, so I was especially unskillful that evening. However, I hopefully redeemed myself when we did two 40 second sprints on the treadmill. I could jump on and off the tread mill no problem kudos to my coach Chris Daymont's awesome 5AM treadmill+elevation workout that comes once a year. (Most people probably dislike that workout--I LOVE it. It's so much fun, and such a challenge). I was able to run pretty fast, so I was happy with that. Afterwards, I biked back at about 7:30PM, grabbed some dinner, then went to bed.
On Wednesday morning, it rained, rained, rained. My goodness did it rain. I went to class, arriving soggy and on edge because of the election. I was still very apprehensive and closely watching the election results throughout the day. In my morning class, both Magali and a student from England asked me for news on the election. At that point, there were still maybe 5 hours left, and things were so close and nerve-wracking. I explained to them that I just could not understand how anyone could vote for Mitt Romney. I am still astonished that nearly half of Americans would support him. I tried to express this disbelief and frustration to Magali and the student from England. They were perplexed as well. Frankly, the fact that Romney was even considered a viable candidate, and that ANYONE can accept the extremist, conservative positions the current Republican party espouses really disheartens me. Romney and the Republican majority have insulted me as a woman, as a member of the middle-class, as an environmentalist, as a historian, and all around as a human. They have insulted my friends, and they have insulted other countries. While I can understand being displeased with President Obama (trust me, as an environmentalist, I AM displeased with him) but I cannot understand supporting Romney. I expressed many times that I feared for what would happen if Romney won. He does not appear to understand that a citizens have responsibilities to each other, and must support one another. Obama, at least, understands this. And even if Obama's environmental record is lacking, I was terrified what Romney would do to the land if he won. His party doesn't even officially acknowledge global warming! Please do not misunderstand, I do not approve of speaking ill of someone, but in my heart I was deeply scared for what someone who holds such anti-equality positions would do. Anyways, throughout the rainy day, I wasn't almost always damp. I went to Sapporo station to search for some souvenirs to send home to friends, wrote many letters, and ate quite a few sweets. Then came the wonderful news that President Obama would be re-elected. Thank goodness. The only better news would have been if Green Party candidate Jill Stein had won, but I'll take what I can get. In the evening, I attended my Field Bioscience lecture and shared the news with anyone who would listen. I enjoyed talking with Diao-san about the lecture afterwards, and then I biked back to my room (in the rain, yet again). That evening, I created my own invention of eggs and battered tofu on rice, with basil, for dinner. It was delicious, but I cooked way too much and did not want it to go to waste, so ate it up! While I cooked, I listened to Obama's speech. To be honest, many of the things he said made me upset (though definitely not as upset as anything Mitt Romney could have said). For example, I do not like when anyone becomes too nationalistic--I cannot stand speeches that glorify the United States. When Obama started off his speech, references the start of the United States as a colony, I was frankly insulted. I've had quite enough of hearing of the United State's beginning spoken of so ahistorically. To reference the start of the United States in such a way is to gloss over the whole violent history of colonization. I felt it was a smack in the face to the many native nations, many of which supported Obama with their votes in this election. Why not speak with some historical justice for once? I was also saddened that environmental issues came up so few in and far in between.

Today (Thursday morning), I attended my Kanji class. I received the results of my quiz from Tuesday--49/50! I was very pleased with it, because we had so many words to learn. Immediately after class, I was to meet Koike-sensei at 10:30AM in the experimental nursery to help plant seedlings for the start of a shade tolerance/CO2 experiment. My class ends at 10:15AM, so there wasn't much time to make it there. I ran into Becca outside of the International Student Center, though, and I was so happy to see her I couldn't help but chat for a few minutes. Then I had to speed off to make it to the nursery. Because I knew there would be little time, I wore my forest work clothes to class, and felt even more like a goof ball. I made it to the nursery before Koike-sensei, right at 10:30AM. I was nervous that perhaps I was in the wrong place. But after a few minutes, I looked up to hear Koike-sensei call "Jamie-san!" cheerfully as he crossed the bridge to the nursery, wearing his bright blue rainboots. The weather in the morning was warm, and brilliantly sunny. It was so beautiful out. We had all expected rain, and so had brought rain gear, but there was no need for it. In fact, it was so warm I actually felt a little overdressed for once! There were three types of seedlings, Oak, Beech, and Maple, all only about a foot tall, with their roots wrapped in cloth. We needed 18 of each to plant in the open-air CO2 experiments. There were puddles and mud everywhere from the week's heavy rains, so I was pretty dirty by the end, but it was very fun. Although I did not truly assist much more than cutting the twine off of the seedlings and handing them around, it was nevertheless a wonderful feeling to be a part of a research experiment that I will hopefully be able to assist with long-term. Afterwards, we all carried the supplies and cloth wrappings back to the agricultural building. I never quite know what the agenda is, or when/where things are meant to end. As you may remember, the nursery is actually right behind the International House, literally a stone's throw. So after finishing planting, I had hoped to walk back to my room since it is so close to finish up some readings. However, Koike-sensei just kept on walking, never officially dismissing us, so I felt it would be rude not to help carry supplies back. After that, he still kept on walking, and I pieced together that we were headed to lunch. I was still covered in quite a bit of mud, all over my pants and boots (and as I learned later, my hat). But I certainly do enjoy and appreciate so much when Koike-sensei takes us to lunch. He is such a friendly and caring professor. I am not sure what kind of sea-creature I ate for lunch, although I have a suspicious feeling it was sting ray. Not something I necessarily had planned to eat in my life. Still, it was such lovely sunny weather, and I felt so welcomed and grateful, and enjoyed speaking as best I could in Japanese with Koike-sensei. By the time I got back to my room, it was about 2:00PM. Grey clouds were unfortunately beginning to roll in. I tried to finish a few things up, then I decided to at last take a little nap. This usually becomes a strong temptation when my room is chilly, and my blankets are warm. Then, at 4:40 I had track practice. Sometimes I feel very sluggish and lazy to leave my warm room to go out into the grey, chilly night. Still, once I just get out the door, I enjoy things greatly. It can be the same with me as far as running goes. You just have to get through the tough step of putting on the running clothes, and then you have no excuse not to head out! As I biked, the closer I got to the track, the more the corners of my mouth started to upturn into a smile. At practice, I did the sprinter workout even though it involved hurdles. As my teammates know, I have a bad relationship with hurdles. In fact, I loath them--not the jumping over them, I've never actually done that, but the "hurdle mobility" exercises. These involve lifting your legs over the hurdles, and squatting under them. I've always been ashamed of it, but I am not flexible at all. So it was also a great ordeal for me to crawl under the hurdles. Today's workout, however, only involved "mini" hurdles, and so it would not be such an ordeal--or so I thought. As it turned out, the sprinters were working on stepping extremely quickly over the mini hurdles. I've done some drills like this before, but not often, and certainly not for a long time. The first exercise involved jumping with both feet at the same time over the hurdle. I was so bad at it, it was really embarrassing. But I didn't let myself give up, even though I was dreadful at it. The next set was stepping fast over them, so fast that I couldn't even get a good glimpse of the footwork. I gradually got the hang of this, but I felt bad for my partner. We divided up into partners to watch one another and give feedback. She was very patient with me, though. Finally, we got to something I can handle--running over hurdles that are more spaced out. I felt pretty good about my runs through them, and maybe in some small way I was able to show that I do, in fact, know a little bit of what I am doing. I tried to explain that, though I try to join sprinters, coordination-wise I am not skilled enough, and this is how you can pick me out as a middle distance inclined "long sprinter" as I prefer to call myself. Still, I really do find the few girls on the team to be so friendly. And some of the guys on the team tried to encourage me when I was having a tough time with the mini hurdles. We ended with a couple 120 meter sprints--this is something I know how to do! Run! So that was a relief. Then we threw some medicine balls around. After that, I cooled down with two of the sprinters, who are both so cheery and enthusiastic. They really enjoy learning new English vocabulary from me, and of course learn so much from them as well. I am so happy to get to know them. Their friendliness and openness is a huge relief, and I cannot begin how happy it makes me feel. I hope that I can become fast again, and that I will be able to contribute to the team, and help encourage them as they have encouraged me.

P.S. In case you are wondering about how my banjo playing is coming along, I can now just about play the theme song from the Beverly Hillbillies (a great show, if you don't know of it.) Of course, I play it more slowly for the moment than the original.


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