I can distinctly remember a moment in November as a tallied the number of weeks I had before me. This seemed to be such a long time. Full of potential, full of separation. Now, I am coming ever nearer to the end. In fact, I am growing fearful. Fearful that I have fallen in love with a land--come to know its plants, its mountains, its soil, its sky--and will be parted. I am sure I speak for others in this fear. During my first months living in Japan, if I am truthful, I could not understand the frequent claim that those who visit Japan are bound to return. Now, I understand completely. Although I might be sad to acknowledge that there seems so little time left, I am also extremely happy to realize how important my time in Japan has been.

Amidst these feelings this past month, however, there have been so many wonderful experiences and developments. As I described in my last report, my advisor helped me to polish a Japanese version of my research paper on earthworms and buckthorn from the Japan Forest Society. This has now been submitted to the Hoppo Ringyo journal, and will hopefully be accepted. Spring is in full bloom, if not summer. The trees are green and leaves flushed. I have been very happy to participate in field work helping with various experiments as well as my own. The HOBO light sensors have been attached and are recording measurements. On one day in particular, I spent nearly 5 hours sorting larch seedlings and transplanting them to plots. I’ve even come to realize that I recognize a growing number of plant species, both trees and herbaceous, by their Japanese names. This seemed a hopeless task last fall. But I’ve made unexpected progress this spring, watching each plant from sprout to stalk. I’ve even learned a number of edible plants, and cooked them myself. I’m not yet brave enough to try my hand at collecting mushrooms. In my previous report, I mentioned that there may be an opportunity for me to compile my research results into a paper. My advisor continues to encourage me to do so, and I believe it will be possible by the end. This lends me confidence. The winter was long indeed, and I often worried if I would have much in the way of research to offer despite what I had learned.

To compliment the scientific field work that is at last fully underway, I have continued to look for articles and essays to piece together my own thoughts on the status of environmentalism in Japan. Part of this has involved delving deeper into issues involved with TPP (Trans-Pacific Partnership). This has been the topic of some protest here in Japan. It is a trade agreement involving primarily the United States, but also a handful of other countries. TPP would effect a variety of sectors, but the majority of controversy stems from the effect it would have on Japan’s farmers. Few in number, they are surprisingly strong in political clout. If Japan accepts TPP--and Abe as far as I can tell has joined the talks--farmers would lose most of their market because their products would be replaced with agricultural products imported from the United States. Currently, crops such as corn are imported in large amounts from the United States. As far as food production, Japan is only about 40% self-sustainable. Joining TPP could cut this percentage in half. My dream for Japan is to achieve higher self-sustainability, not food dependence on outside sources and certainly not importing food from so far away. Local is undoubtedly better, and the Japanese model of small farms and small fields is far safer, in my opinion, then the monstrous American farming monopoly. Nonetheless, Japanese farmers do also participate in damaging land-use practices. If Japan could encourage more individuals to return to farming, and to implement methods such as suggested by Masanobu Fukuoka in his One-Straw Revolution, I believe that Japan could become a model for other countries. In addition to learning more about TPP, I hope to attend some community meetings, and also to consider that status of Japanese political and environmental mindsets. Unfortunately, apathy tends to be a persistent roadblock for significant change. Just like in the U.S., there is also considerable superficiality when it comes to environmentalism. That is, the appeal of being “green” to avoid guilt, while accomplishing very little. Still, there are passionate groups to be found here and there.

And just this week, I finally saw a glimmer of hope for becoming involved within the Ainu community through the lens of environmentalism. I have been trying for the past few months to become involved, to seek help, advice, discussion, and to offer whatever I can in return. Yet I received no responses to any inquiries and continued to feel lost. On a whim, I contacted a lecturer at Hokkaido University whose name I had found connected to past presentations on indigenous issues. I had little hope that I would receive a response. But I did indeed receive a response and some suggestions for where to look next. In Biratori, there is an ongoing Ainu-led reforestation project called Chikornay ( ‘chikoronai’). Specifically, the Chiornay is being reforested back to a state before larch plantations replaced the original trees. I was overjoyed to learn this. I have contacted the secretary of the project, and unfortunately I just missed out on the annual reforestation event, at the end of May, when many volunteers are welcomed to come assist and learn about the process of reforestation. It is a shame I did not know of this project sooner. However, I can only hope that there will be some way for me to volunteer or help with maintenance of the planted seedlings. Even simply to speak to those involved in the project, I would be happy. I have read a number of articles and essays from their website and from their founder, Koichi Kaizawa. Many of his ideas about land use and culture align closely with my own ideas and hopes for the future. I sorely regret that I did not learn about everything sooner, or have a chance to meet the lecturer who helped point me in the right direction sooner. This week I was able to meet with him and talk for many hours, in particular about the importance of culturally respectful and mindful forest practices. Just as I had hoped in my proposal so long ago, strict scientific research neglects the insight of the many cultures of the world. Native nations, especially, are often overlooked--sometimes purposefully ignored. Land use, environmental degradation and human rights are all linked. In any case, I look forward to the potential opportunities for involvement even if I have only a few months left.

I am also glad to say that I have continued to volunteer with the urban bee-keeping group here in Sapporo of which I spoke last month. My first meeting with the members was so pleasant and joyous, it left me smiling for days. I have since gone to help once a week, first to help prepare the top of the building, and now twice to work with the bees who have made their arrival from Kyushu! On a glorious sunny day, I stood upon the rooftop of a building in downtown Sapporo surrounded by hundreds of buzzing bees. And eating golden honey straight from the combs! The older lady, Takushima-san, is full of energy and kindness. The other ladies also take excellent care of me--sometimes embarrassingly so!--always vigilant to prevent me from being stung. Today I was given a small jar of honey, a handful of honeycomb, and a potted plant just for coming. I feel that I contribute very little as far as work--mostly I feel that I am standing around, hoping to be of help, and staring with fascination at the swarms of bees--but they continue to give me such kind gifts. At the midyear conference, I had wished that I could become involved in some sort of volunteer activity. Now I am so happy with my weekly bee-keeping experiences! Many of the volunteers are passionate about maintaining and increasing the number of plants in urban areas. The greening of cities brings bees and habitat, and I adamantly agree. Besides the chance to meet such kind people, it is an excellent practical application of ecological studies.

Lastly, I am happy to report that my Achilles tendon has healed as far as I can tell on my own. Unfortunately, this came at the expense of all of the training and endurance I had worked hard for all year. I am back to basics, having been prevented from running for longer than in my entire life. It is a frustrating situation, but I am so grateful to have my freedom back. To be able to run, walk, bike, and be active without (significant) pain. The week that I was finally able to slowly jog, I was so ecstatic to at last have my mobility returned that I used every opportunity and spare moment to be active. The weather seemed to clear from grey, rainy skies to bright blue sunshine in coordination with this! I took to waking up as early as I could to hike and climb around Sapporo before classes, always making it back in time with a story and many bruises. In the span of a week, I managed to bike to the ocean (taking up the trail I had attempted long ago in the fall), and hike three different so-called mountains within Sapporo. Among them I even set my sights on the to nearby Mt. Teine, and all by myself clamored up to the top. The trailhead at a beautiful waterfall was itself an adventure to locate by bike--and as I later learned, haunted as well. There was snow starting half way up the climb, and I was arrayed in only running clothes and running shoes. The small number of well-equipped (often over-equipped, if you ask me) hikers that I met along the way undoubtedly questioned my soundness of mind. I fell waist deep into snow, where it was not solid enough. I banged my shins on rocks, and I had to search for light tracks in the snow to re-find the ever disappearing trail. This accomplishment left me with a sense of pride and confidence. Biking to class or arriving at track practices, I could look to the line of mountains in the west and remember the view from above. Meanwhile, when I had climbed up the modest Maruyama, I was rewarded with a similarly enchanting experience. Watching a songbird flit past my head, I held up my hands out of curiosity. To my shock, one by one little songbirds came to land on my fingertips! Although being injured for so long has done its damage, I cannot complain. For I have been richly compensated in the form of such magical experiences.

This month has flown by, punctuated by classes, the start of track competitions, zemi presentations, kind old bee keepers, and my absolute adoration for the green that is steadily returning. I am glad to say that, now at last the sakura are beginning to bloom in Sapporo. This will be the third round of sakura for me! I feel that I have been chasing the seasons across Japan. I can also report that I heard the first rustle of spring leaves this week while walking to class. This is an important occasion for me every year. When leaves first unfurl, they are too small to rustle in the wind. You can never be certain when your ears will finally catch that soft, long-awaited sound. I always stop in my tracks when I hear it, nod my head, and smile. Spring has arrived. And with it, light measurements soon to follow!

Therefore, needless to say, the past month has been filled with many great things. The biggest frustration during this time, unfortunately, is that I managed to injure myself. After returning to Sapporo with high hopes of running in the timidly warming weather and clear sidewalks, my achilles tendon suddenly began to hurt badly enough that I was hard-pressed to climb stairs for a time. It became inflamed and painful. There are not many things that will make me stop running, but this made me stop. For three weeks (longer if I counted accurately) , I have been unable to run and this has been miserable. For me, running is the same as freedom. I ran without fail or fall throughout the icy winter, and I can proudly say that I know most of the Sapporo area from here to the ocean thanks to long runs. Running has introduced me more profoundly to the city; it has brought me to many hidden places I would not have found otherwise, led me to explore, become more confident in once unfamiliar surroundings and myself, to meet a host of wonderful friends on the track team, and has connected me more closely to the land here. My footsteps have tread far over the earth here, leaving their mark on the ground and the earth its mark on me. It is as natural to me as food and drink. Most of the time, it is my method of transportation. I went to a doctor thanks to Becca's kind assistance. But, as I should have guessed, his only recommendation was an unhelpful one: more rest. It does not help that Japan's track competitions started up in perfect timing with the start of my injury. I have been looking forward to the chance to participate in a Japanese track and field competition. I have observed so many cultural subtleties through my participation in the track club, I knew it would be a once in a lifetime opportunity to compete as well. The coach even managed to register me officially, so that I can compete. I feel that it would also form a tighter bond between me and the other runners. It was the final step towards me becoming 100% accepted, even though everyone has welcomed me so kindly. Alas, I have been stuck in the stands. At practices, where I looked forward to training, chatting, and interacting with the members I now feel isolated as I sit and do abs or stretch on my own, unable to run, cheering for the other members as they run the workouts. Nevertheless, I am very grateful to have had the chance at least to observe competitions. My absolute favorite nuance is that, after crossing the finish line, each runner turns and bows before exiting. At practices as well, each runner turns and bows to the track as they leave. I think that this is an important sentiment, and stands out to me every time I witness it. It shows respect to the other members, to the other competitors, to the officials, and to the track itself.

Classes began gradually for me. Last semester, I felt busy with Japanese language classes and international student science courses. I felt that I was always preparing for a kanji or grammar exam. Due to the Hokudai International Student Center's language programs infinite wisdom, however, the corresponding levels of kanji/vocabulary and grammar were scheduled for the same time slot. I'm not entirely certain of why they would make such a decision. Many of my classmates noticed the scheduling issue at the start of vacation and informed the department. But no change was made, nor any indication of willingness to change—their only advice was that you must choose one or the other. Now, if I were an educational department, it would be my goal to provide an education. So I remain perplexed. That means that myself and everyone else in my level was forced to decide which class to take and which to give up. I ended up choosing kanji/vocabulary, because the teacher tends to provide grammatical explanations along with the vocabulary so it seemed the best of the worst. So far, this decision seems to have been the correct one but I can only wonder if the department is aware that now their class sizes have been halved. Or perhaps that was their goal. Science courses have also begun slowly for me. I currently have Agriculture in Hokkaido, Forest Resources, and my Forest Sciences lab seminar. I am considering joining an environmental studies course, but my experience last semester was that most of these courses contained review. Or they were very simplified, in part because many of the professors attempt to present in English even when the result is mostly confusion. So I am in fact rather satisfied with the smaller course load, and more time that can be devoted to field measurements, reviewing papers, and piecing together a research paper. Professor Koike has hinted that he would like me to synthesize the results into a paper by the end, and indicated that now that I will be in Japan until September, this will give me the perfect amount of time to conclude the experiment neatly. I am hoping this will come to fruition!

After finishing the first lab seminar back, the graduate students and professors were trying to decide on the presenter for the following week. One of the graduate students so graciously suggested that I present my poster on earthworm and buckthorn interactions from the Japan Forest Society. I had been nervous that someone would remember! But nervousness aside, I was also glad for the vote of confidence and the chance to share my old project—as well as talk about Minnesota's forests! I prepared a power point version, with English and Japanese so that the Japanese students and international students could all understand. Doing my best to brush up my Japanese ecology vocabulary, on April 26 I headed to the seminar room. I felt, as I always do before a presentation, as though I were balancing a basin of precious knowledge atop my head—any misstep and it would spill over. But it went perfectly, and I really enjoyed it. I am learning more and more that, shy as I may be, I do like to present. Although I am sure I made many grammatical errors, I completed the entire 45 minute presentation entirely in Japanese doing my best to speak smoothly and naturally. I think that Professor Koike was proud. Afterward, in fact, he asked me if I would be interested in submitting it to a Japanese science journal for publication. I was so surprised! The research itself is very simple and from my work at St. Olaf. However, he pointed out that I had already translated so much of it, and that many Japanese researchers would be interested in reading. I had thought I was at last done with that old project, but it seems I will have one more round with it. I prepared a four page manuscript in Japanese, adding on to what I had done already. I sent it to Professor Koike simply to ask if the format was acceptable, and yet again he helped me to edit the entire manuscript from start to finish. I was so shocked to open up the file he sent back to me (the same day!) with grammatical suggestions and advice for revisions. I cannot emphasize enough how supportive Professor Koike has been for me. He is an extremely busy professor, and yet he goes far out of his way to help me and his other students. He even makes a point of buying specific chocolates, since one of his students works for the company and he wishes to continue supporting him. Based on these revisions, I edited the manuscript again and with any luck, in the next weeks Professor Koike will be submitting it for me. If all goes well, it will be published!

The next week was Golden Week. In retrospect, I wish I had planned a short trip since there was little activity in the lab and many others had done just that. But I found the schedule to be confusing, not to mention that I still had Japanese class. So I was never quite certain when classes would be canceled or not—my method was to show up to the room, half of the time for a class, and half of the time for an empty room. But the time was well-spent in other regards, preparing the aforementioned manuscript, and doing a some more digging on Japan and environmentalism. A somewhat rare character among Japanese farmers at the time, I learned about Mr. Masanobu Fukoka, author of the One-Straw Revolution. I had heard the title before, but never read it. Published in the late 70s, Fukuoka describes a process of no till, no flooding, no pesticide farming that he developed over a period of 30 years at his farm in Shikoku. The book is little known inside Japan—despite growing yields that matched or beat his neighbors, his methods were frowned upon for their disorderly appearance compared to tidy rows of rice—but inspirational to many small farmers and environmentalists elsewhere. I poured through the book in a single day. It is especially curious to me because Fukuoka intertwines philosophy, science (trained as a plant pathologist himself, he finds sciences to be overly glorified), and practical farming. There are many aspects of Japanese culture contained in his farming, although so much of agriculture in Japan—especially in Hokkaido—has regrettably been influenced by American models. In addition to the environmental questions I have continued to pursue, and with growing success as my sources and thoughts coalesce, I remain curious about environmental questions concerning Ainu culture and language. I strongly believe that land, language, and culture are reflections of one another, and as such have made it an important goal to learn more about these possible connections not just within Japanese culture, but necessarily within Ainu culture as well. I hold this to be just as important and valuable as my ecological or scientific research. All spheres of learning are interlaced, and communicate with one another. Culture has much to say about our current global environmental situation, and I want desperately to become more involved in Ainu land and social justice events. Perhaps my main reason for pursuing forest sciences, love of plants aside, is my goal to combine scientific research and credibility with legal action, in particular in the area of resource, land, environmentalism and social justice—especially land reclamation and use. In my home state of Minnesota, there continue to be injustices against the Dakota and Anishinaabe (Ojibwe) nations, whose land is polluted illegally by mining, pipelines, and extractive corporations. Environmental and social justice issues are shadows cast by the same source. Therefore, it remains disappointing for me not to have found a way to participate in any social or environmental justice related possibilities within Ainu communities. I have contacted a professor recently, whose research specialty happens to be connections between language, ecology—with a focus on Ainu language--, but have not yet received a response.

After Golden Week, I experienced one of the happiest days I have had in a very long time. Since October, I have been trying to find a time to meet with a small, local honey production group. They keep bee hives on the top of a building in downtown Sapporo. Becca and I met them at their little stand during the autumn festival long ago, and the older lady at the booth was overjoyed to take our pictures and hear that we were interested in volunteering. At that time, the honey season was winding down. Various times, I had emailed the group to meet with them, but I always ended up busy and there was little group activity during the winter besides. With spring on its way, I was determined to meet with them. The older lady, Takushima-san, had in fact come spontaneously to the agriculture building at Hokudai during the fall to try to find me one day, so adamant was she to meet with me. Alas, I had not been in the lab that day. Not to be defeated so easily, she revealed that she searched through the building holding the picture of me and Becca posed with a jar of honey. Showing this picture, she asked Japanese students who crossed her path if they had seen me (assuming that as a foreigner, they would easily recognize me!). She is quite the character. After emailing the group and fortunately receiving a happy response to meet with me, they told me the address and I went in search of the building. The building itself is old and dusty from the outside, and filled with a mismatch of shops inside. I become very nervous doing such things on my own, and often wish to turn back, but I do not let myself give in. I had trouble locating the building, and had just stepped outside the building itself, when I heard someone call “Jamie-chan!” I looked up, and it was Takushima-san trotting towards me cheerfully. She told me she remembered me perfectly, because she often carried the photograph with her since she was so excited for me to volunteer. I have never been so seamlessly adopted by someone before. It was as though she had known me for years, that we were long friends—she happily brought me inside, introduced me to the three other volunteers who had come to meet me, and chatted with me about her children, her job, and listened curiously about what I had to say. I was especially proud because I managed the whole time in Japanese. Although the bees are still vacationing in Kyushu until the weather warms, Takushima-san said that there will definitely be many opportunities for me to volunteer. After the meeting, Takushima-san and the two other middle-aged ladies invited me to lunch, paid for my lunch, secretly gave me a honeycomb, and filled a bag with snacks for me to take with me. She proudly exclaimed to the others, “tsukamaeta!”, that she had caught me and meaning that I would surely return. The rest of the day, I wore a huge smile. In fact, as I fell asleep that night, it was with a bright grin and a warm heart. Takushima-san is the first person in Japan to call me “Jamie-chan.” I have often hoped that my track teammates or other friends would now and again use the epithet, as insignificant as it may seem. But no one had until that day. I had not realized just what this meant to me: it meant someone had accepted me, that they valued me and saw me as someone with whom formalities could be set aside. Takushima-san let her true personality shine through, charming and bubbly and very much a Japanese obaa-san. In fact, all three of the ladies treated me so kindly. I can be very timid and shy when I become intimidated, but I felt instantly comfortable among them. I had been happy enough at the prospect of volunteering with honey bees, but the potential of such a joyful friendship left me feeling immensely fortunate. I look forward to meeting with them again!

There was more excitement to come. Soon thereafter, I received a phone call from a number I did not recognize. It was a woman calling from the Japan Forestry Society, and informed me that I had won the international student award category for my poster presentation. Of course, I did not understand this at first since everything was in Japanese and took me by surprise. In fact, I was only partly certain that it was an award and not a fee at first. After making her repeat herself so many times, I'm sure she was ready to make it a fee! The next day, Professor Koike had invited me and two labmates on a short trip with him to retrieve a handful of larch seedlings from the Bibai experimental forest. He rented a car, and we made the hour-long trip through the countryside, watching the snowy mountains on the horizon. I was glad for the chance to see another experimental forest, and when we arrived we were given a tour of the grounds and explanation of some of the experiments. In true Japanese fashion, a researcher in business clothes came running out to the field to greet Professor Koike, bow, hand him his business card, and then we all took pictures in a line in front of the trees and plowed dirt rows. It was also an interesting opportunity for me to overhear Professor Koike and the other senior researchers speaking in very casual Japanese together—just like the young Japanese classmates of mine. On the way back to Sapporo, Professor Koike bought us all icecream cones and ageimo at a vegetable market. Then, though I was unable to travel during golden week, this weekend I was able to make a short trip to Tokyo. I accomplished two important items on my list in one day. Together with Veronica, I saw the Alphonse Mucha art exhibit in Roppongi and Kabuki in the evening. It was an fun-packed day. The exhibit was absolutely swarming with people, but the art was just as inspiring as I had always imagined it would be in person. And kabuki was incredible. I have been determined all these months to see kabuki while in Japan, and I feared the chance would slip by. I had never seen any form of Japanese theater in person before, and thus had long dreamed of witnessing something as iconic as kabuki. Not only is it cultural, it is stunning. I am so grateful that I was able to go. I loved the acts, was pleased that I could understand some of the Japanese and some of the puns even without the aid of the headphones, not to mention many of the cultural references, and I enjoyed swimming amidst the sea of kimono-clad old ladies. I took the train with Veronica back to Tsukuba, and the next day I was able to see the beautiful bike paths, greenery, Tsukuba University campus, and a delightful vegetarian lunch before heading back to the Narita airport. Though short, it was by far one of my best trips in Japan, due not just to great art but great company as well. The trees and scenery in Tsukuba were breathtaking to me, and peddling along with Veronica on mama-chari through the sunny weather and lush leaves, I could not have been happier. In fact, the tree-lined streets of Tsukuba reminded me fondly of my home in Minneapolis, painted with the brushstrokes of Japan. The bus trip back to Narita passed through newly planted rice fields and dense backyard gardens. Upon arriving back in Sapporo, Professor Koike emailed me to say that the light sensor equipment had arrived and that soon we could begin to take photosynthesis and light readings. I look forward to this, and today I visited the seedlings we planted in the fall to say good morning from their long sleep. The buds will soon unfurl.

Overall, injuries aside, there have been many fortunate experiences for me this month. It took a great deal for me to move past my decision regarding Yale but I have largely recovered my spirits, and discovered many friendships for which I am so grateful. I have been fortunate to have so many opportunities to present and become more comfortable with research and formalizing such research in Japanese. The exuberance of green and growing plants makes even gray and rainy days more cheerful, and reminded me of how curious I remain about plants, and the remarkable systems of this earth.

Lastly, a peculiar transformation has occurred for me over the months. When I first arrived in Japan, everything was new. Gradually, I adjusted and became comfortable. Yet that comfort and familiarity did not equate something which I associated with myself—that is, I did not notice these cultural subtleties, indeed the landscape of Japan itself, becoming a part of myself even as I observed and interacted. Such experiences had found happy abode in my mind, but had not seeped into my heart. Now, while there is much more for me to learn, aspects of Japan that take decades or a lifetime to truly know, and of course day-to-day frustrations, Japan has become a second home to me. I look upon the land here not just with interest, but with a growing love that strengthens my resolve to protect this earth. Indeed, I no longer merely look upon, but instead feel a part of Japan. The experience of Fulbright has given me that opportunity, and it is a grace I will never forget. 

Thursday (12/13)-- Thursday morning was the my re-scheduled Kanji midterm exam. Although I had unexpectedly received an extra day to study, I still did not feel confident going into the exam. I have found that ever since graduating, and indeed for some time leading up to graduation, I have not been able to focus. It has been a struggle and a worry, but I have yet to break my pattern of procrastination that has crept into my behavior. Although I am fortunate to be able to pull things together in the end, it is frustrating and certainly not the sort of study behavior that I am proud of. I need to find a way to reinvigorate my passion for learning. It is not lost, but it is harder than ever to keep focused. I sometimes wonder if it is not the beginnings of an attention disorder finally overtaking me. For many years, I was able to overcome lack of focus and attention by working extra hard. These days it is more of a struggle to muster the will. Although I generally enjoy tests, because they provide an opportunity to learn exactly where your weak and strong spots lay, I found more weaknesses than strengths this time around. I am not good at memorizing many words at once--although if you give me a few shorts lists, I can learn them well--so the hundreds and hundreds of vocabulary words that have yet to sink into my long term memory were overwhelming. Nonetheless, it felt good to have out of the way. In the evening, I of course had track practice. I am not certain, looking back, what the workout was, though I have a feeling it was jumping across the gymnasium. This is probably the evening that I cooked my very own caramels, I should mention. I've always loved the taste of soft, homemade caramels and throughout the week I had been slowly accumulating the supplies. It was a careful process, especially because of my temperamental (or more bluntly, 'stupid') single burner. But they turned out to be very tasty if I do say so myself. By dripping some of the boiling mixture in cold water periodically, I managed to make them just the right consistency. Not too soft, not too hard.
Friday (12/14)-- December 14th was a day I had awaited with great anticipation. It was the release of THE HOBBIT! In the morning I had my grammar class, and Magali and I discussed our plans for the evening and when we could meet after class for our 7PM showtime. Both Magali and I have a 4:30-6PM class, so we agreed to meet at Sapporo Station as soon as we could afterwards and hopefully grab a bite to eat. The lecture that evening wound up being about forest resources and archeology! What a pleasant surprise! Although we met initially in our normal room, we walked together for the actual lecture at the archeology department a few minutes away. I have often considered going into archeology, and so this was a treat for me. Not only that, it was combining my love of trees directly with my love of history. Some of the Hokudai archeology professors/researchers shared the lecture and explained some of the longer (think thousand years ago) archeological significance of the land that makes up the Sapporo and particularly the campus. Because there are a couple of streams that criss-crossed the campus (now they have been altered, reduced, and tampered with as have virtually all rivers in Japan), there are a number of ancient building sites that have been unearthed mostly after starting construction on new campus facilities. The highlight of the lecture was, just as I thought it would be wrapped up, the lecturer directed us to a door in the back. The door led to a small room filled with artifacts, primarily pots, plates, and little items. It should be noted here that, similarly to the United States, archeology in Hokkaido cannot be easily separated from the legacy of "colonization." There was little mention of involvement of Ainu descendents in the archeology research, just as most United States museum for many years (and most still today) rarely involved members of the native nations whose artifacts they displayed. Some of these artifacts were stolen, or ought to have been returned, and many displayed without permission of native nations. (As a particularly poignant footnote, if you see moccasins in a museum that happen to have beadwork on the bottom, these were most certainly taken from a grave or a buried person.) I will have to do more digging on this matter on my own. At the moment, I let myself become caught up in the excitement of seeing such incredible history that the warning signs of cultural hurts--not mentioned once by the lecturers--flashed too dimly at the back of my mind. To emphasize, it was an honor to see these items. But I would rather they return to those they belong, or their descendents, to be given to archeologists if they wish. As class ended, I was becoming more and more excited for the Hobbit. Although I enjoy talking to my classmates afterwards, I needed to hurry on my way over the especially icey sidewalks that night. I made it to Sapporo Station by 6:20, worrying that I might have made Magali wait. As it happens, because of her class and the ice (somehow she is still biking!), it was not until around 6:40 that Magali arrived. We had wanted to eat Hokkaido-style ramen before the movie, but there was not time. We hurried downstairs to a bakery and enjoyed delicious caramel baked goods instead. We kept thinking that, because it was opening night there would be crowds upstairs for the opening of the Hobbit. But when we arrived upstairs at the Sapporo Cinema, there were no crowds to be found. Even at about 6:55PM when we entered the theater itself, the seats were scarcely populated. I was so surprised! It was an interesting feeling, to see such little enthusiasm or excitement, and yet to know how much energy there was probably in theaters throughout the U.S. Probably, few Japanese people were as excited to go see what for them would not only be a foreign film, but also in English. I am almost positive now that, when I bought my advance tickets to make sure we would have seats a week and a half prior, I was the first in Sapporo to do so--perhaps even the first in Hokkaido! The nearly empty theater could not dampen my anticipation. Magali, too, had been looking forward to the film and I was so grateful to go see it with her! I adore Tolkien's work, and in particular the Hobbit. It is a simple read in style, but in my opinion an example of a nearly perfect story. Because Tolkien was deeply interested in old English, and old Scandinavian fairytales and stories (a master linguist, I might add), you can see many of these influences in his works. If you have read Beowulf or the tales of Sigurd especially you can find parallels and some very profound messages. I have often found myself likening my own journey coming here to Japan, with Bilbo's adventure. Both he and I left the comfort of our homes for a completely unknown future, for an adventure. On the way, I have met all sorts of people and new companions. I have gotten myself into mishaps, found myself intensely missing my home, and at the same time ensnared by a sense of fascination for my new surroundings and each new experience. There have been hardships, balanced by absolutely incredible sights. When I fall into a troublesome patch, I try to remind myself of Mr. Bilbo Baggins: “Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!” I am determined to do my best, and though the journey may be long and I may not return the same, there is something to be said for a little persistence and adventurousness, even in the face of challenge. I've been told I am quite Hobbit-like, in any case. I have an immense love of food (and a larger appetite than most know!), peace, quiet, simplicity and the familiar. I don't like things to be more complicated than they must be. At the same time, there is that Tookish strand in me that loves adventure (but only in certain doses!). I might mention that I also thought of myself much like Samwise Gamgee when I first arrived here, because of my inexperience, bumbling but persistent nature, and love of plants--Japan is certainly the farthest from home I've ever been! For all of these reasons, not to mention the inspiration that Tolkien's works have given to my own life and way of thinking, I have been closely watching the production of the Hobbit movie. To be frank, I must say that while I appreciate Peter Jackson's (the director's) passion for Tolkien's world, I do not like his excessive creative license one bit. In that regard, I do not trust him or approve of most of the alterations and flourishes he added to the film. I greatly prefer the book. Greatly is an understatement here. Nonetheless, there were some scenes and choices in the film that were enjoyable. I really did like most of Martin Freeman's performance as Bilbo, as well as Ian McKellen's slightly more grumpy and mischievous Gandalf this time around. Gandalf in the Lord of the Ring's films was far too kind with his words! At some point during the film, I gave up hoping to see the lovely story that I know, and accepted that I would watch the film for the film that it is. The highlight I will say were the lovely, breathtaking landscapes and backgrounds. Two of my favorite artists (John Howe and Alan Lee), long involved in the illustration of Tolkien's tales, painted some of the scenes almost directly into the film. That was a privilege to see. Anyways, I will not bore you anymore with my love of Tolkien, only to recommend the Hobbit book if you have not read it and want to come away from a story with a contented smile. I'd recommend the Lord of the Rings, as well, but they require a bit more tenacity. After the film, it was just after 10PM. Magali was very kind to humor me and go get ramen afterwards, since we had not eaten a real dinner. I rarely eat ramen here in Japan (it's good, but nothing incredible in my humble opinion), but it was quite tasty. We talked happily together as we ate, comparing colleges in the United States and in Switzerland. We collected Magali's bike once we were done, stopped at a conbini for her to get milk, and then parted ways. I felt content, and grateful for the fun evening. It was nearly midnight when I got back to my dorm, and I needed to get to bed in order to wake up for my morning track practice.
Saturday (12/15)--  Morning track practice was at the Sapporo community dome, which I have visited once or twice before. The workout was 2x2x800m, with 400m of jog in between the two 800s. Hanako-san met me patiently at Sapporo Station to ride with me to the dome. She gave me the option of doing the long sprinter workout, which was 6x300m. I was sorely tempted to accept her suggestion, but something stubborn arose in me and I decidedly nervously to agree to the middle distance workout. The whole time as I warmed up I second-guessed myself. I was not sure if I would have enough endurance to keep up, and I am so comfortable with 300m. I nearly piped up and asked at the last minute if I could switch, but the timekeepers said it was time to start and I was too bashful to say anything. So nervously I lined up with the small group of male middle distance runners and Hanako-san, the only other girl. I let her take the lead, because my main goal was just to get a feel for things and hang on. The first set went well, and I was surprised! By the second set, Hanako-san had asked if I could take the lead since I somehow had energy to spare. I was happy, excited, and nervous to finally, finally, finally take the lead. I have felt bad to always be chasing after Hanako-san, making her set the pace and just trying to keep up. I wanted to help out too, and to push her as well. So I took my task seriously. I was so nervous and excited I took off fast (not having been in the lead for so long). I didn't want to be too slow. I finished the 800m faster than the first set! And I was still going strong! In fact, I pushed us faster than our first set for all of the remaining 800s. And I stayed in the lead! I was so happy to finally feel the start of strength returning--and to be able to contribute to the workout! It felt incredible. I even had a little bit of energy left afterwards, although on the last 800 I could feel the tiredness creeping into my legs. It was one of the first practices where I've felt a big improvement. Boy has it been a long time coming. And no where near what I was perhaps once capable of. But here's hoping. After practice I even managed to navigate back on the subway all on my own! I decided to search for the second vegetarian, organic restaurant on my list for lunch. It is quite a walk from the station, and really hidden away. To my despair, I finally located the tiny place (in a basement!) only to learn that they had stopped serving lunch 15 minutes prior. I was so sad and upset by the news. It had taken nearly an hour to locate. Downtrodden, I made my way back towards the station, saying that I would return if I had time for the dinner set. It was really chilly out that day, and the sidewalks especially uneven because of the snowpack. But around 5:30PM, I made the long hike back for dinner. It was worth it, because the feel of the restaurant and the food were both delicious.
Sunday (12/16)--In the morning, the practice was weightlifting. For lunch, I decided to go to the Indian restaurant. My main goal was to give the owner a Christmas/New Year's gift. I had been trying to choose a day to go, and today seemed as good as ever. I needed to make sure I went before my trip to Tokyo, after all. The food was delicious as usual, and the owner really lit up to receive the gift. He even asked about Becca, and sent her his regards. I felt cheerful afterwards. I love giving gifts. In the evening, I attended the Hokudai World Music Festival, created by Hokudai international students. I met Diao-san at Sapporo Station and served as a navigator to locate the far-away concert hall. I put the address from our tickets into my phone, and did my best to lead the way through the dark, snowy, and icy streets. I had never been there before, and had little idea of where exactly I was headed. But I've just about mastered the street signs here, and so I was able to steer us in the correct direction through the combination of my phone and knowing the street address. We met at the station at about 6:20PM and arrived at the concert hall just before 7PM for the start of the show. The hall was filled with a decent sized audience. All the performers were international students. I particularly enjoyed hearing the music--the festival also included many dances, but I like to hear the songs from all over the world, like Indonesia, Korea, China, Russia, etc. Among the best performances was Joshua's group, called Sukiyaki Africa. It consisted of Joshua (Nigerian) on drums, a handful of Japanese students, and another international student from Africa, I believe Ghana though I am not certain. The collaborated with the Japanese students, and performed their unique rendition of "Ue wo Muite", a famous Japanese song known in the United States as "Sukiyaki." The singer had a rich, incredible voice and surprised everyone with his excellent Japanese ability with the lyrics. The song itself because a mixture of African rhythms (from the hand drums), Japanese saxophone and trumpet players, and Japanese tunes. I remember thinking to myself what a beautiful collaboration it was, and what a beautiful example of the incredible power of creativity and cultural collaboration. The song is one of my favorites, and to hear it performed in such an amazing way, with such palpable amicability, it brought a big smile to my face.
Monday (12/17)-- On Monday, in the morning I prepared cinnamon cookies to share with the teammate who had invited me over for Nabe in the evening. Then I attended Mao-san's practice PhD defense lecture around 2:30PM. There were only a few of us present. The contents are the same as I have heard at her previous practice lectures, though somewhat modified based on comments from professors. I enjoy and am happy to listen to the lecture. However, afterwards the couple professors attending continued to give commentary for hours. I watched the minutes waste away. There were many long pauses, and the whole commentary afterwards was drawn out to such a point that I really became antsy and disheartened that I would never escape. It was around 5PM  when I finally did get away. There had been no reason for me to stay during the commentary, as I have little to contribute besides English grammar help, so alas for two hours I literally sat silently twiddling my thumbs. I had agreed to meet Rinko-san at the gymnaisum at 6PM, so before that I wandered to Yodobashi Camera to buy some capsule toys which my siblings seem to love (for some reason) and then to the library to try to study for a short time. Unexpectedly as I walked towards the library I ran into one of the timekeepers/helpers for the track team. She asked if I was headed to practice at the Sapporo dome. I looked at her with confusion. No, of course not. As it turns out, middle distance had a monday evening practice (usually monday is a rest day). But I normally have a lecture at this time, which I told her, so normally I would not have been able to go anyways. Also, no one had told me ahead of time. This made me really wish I was given the actual workout schedule, so I wouldn't have to rely on others for information.  I headed into the library, then walked to meet Rinko-san. She is very kind, and very energetic. From what I've seen in practice, she is also very quick. I was really so flattered to have been invited over. She had rented Robin Hood to watch together while we ate. We were joined by Toi-san, who is more quiet and always seems surprised by what I have to say but is always very patient with me. First we walked over the snow-pack to the grocery store near here apartment. We picked out many vegetables, and they were both so considerate not to mind excluding meat. I encountered a new ingredient, as well, called "nira." It looks very literally like grass. I wasn't sure what it tasted like, but I was just happy it was not a slab of meat and I was intrigued by its grass clipping appearance. It turns out "nira" is, as far as I can distinguish, the leaves of garlic/chives. It tasted pretty good, in any case! When we got to Rinko's apartment, she admitted that she was embarrassed because even though she had tried to clean, she felt it was messy. I didn't think so at all! I tried to assure her that it was no trouble! Her apartment is up a set of narrow stairs, and consists of rooms connected by an even narrower hallway. But the rooms themselves are a decent size. About the size of my whole dorm room! I am admittedly jealous! I asked her if it was expensive, and she said no, so maybe I really should investigate an apartment. My tiny nest is alright, but it sure would be nice to have a bit more space. Especially a kitchen. With a stove that is not so temperamental. I really had a fun time. I adore the Disney Robin Hood film (although interestingly, it is considered by many to be the cheapest and among the more poorly done, recycling numerous images from previous films.) I enjoy it because it is so light-hearted, and there is actually nothing insulting or demeaning in it, as far as I can tell! That's preeeeetttty darn good for a Disney film. We watched it in English with Japanese subtitles. It was very interesting to compare the translations. I tried to explain (and my teammates also noticed a few times) that the Japanese subtitles left quite a bit out, or simplified the dialogue. We even discussed a bit of the history of King Richard, Prince John, and Robin Hood. I forget sometimes that a story that is so common to me has little connection to Japanese history, and so is fairly new to my teammates. The same thing happens to me, when Japanese acquaintances have to explain commonplace stories to me (although I am proud to say that I have impressed a few with my random knowledge of tales and trivia). It started snowing afterwards, and we all walked together part way back to the campus before parting ways. On the way, we listed other Disney movies, I tried to think of suggestions, and we recited Do-Re-Mi from Marry Poppins (with me trying to explain the meaning and fortunately remembering the lines).
Tuesday (12/18)-- On Tuesday, Mao-san gave her real pre-defense lecture. It was snowing hard outside. I gave her, Nana-san, and Koike-sensei some caramels afterwards as some motivation and congratulation.
Wednesday (12/19)-- My only notes for Wednesday are my morning grammar class, followed by a stop at the campus bakery where it was the first day special Christmas pastries were being sold. They would only be made for a few days, so I wanted to try them out. I bought a couple, in addition to the chestnut cream pan ('kuri pan') that I love so much. And then would you believe it, I fell asleep for far too long of a nap! In the evening, I attended my Field Bioscience lecture. To my great surprise and pleasure, Diao-san had brought an early birthday present for me! I couldn't believe it! She is so kind! She handed me a flowery bag, and inside it was filled with donuts! She knows me well, and they were delicious. I wore a grin the whole class because of her kindness.
Thursday (12/20)-- My 23rd Birthday. I am one year closer to embodying the old-person that I am accused of being. In the morning I had my Kanji class. This time it was Magali who surprised me! She had brought me a present! She had baked lemon bars (she called them 'biscuits' but to a Minnesotan, they were surely bars) and wrapped them beautifully in a box with a ribbon, and some chocolates from Switzerland. I was so shocked, because I had not told her and had not really expected anyone to remember! Goodness, I am thankful for kind and thoughtful people. Afterwards, since I had made a promise to myself (and to Becca!) that I would make my birthday a desserts-only day, I bought a number of pastries from the campus bakery to accompany my bars and chocolates from Magali. I decided to spend the day relaxing and enjoying the sunny weather as much as I could. I accomplished some work on my applications, and went for a glorious sunny run. That was my true present to myself---the cheerful run over the ice. The whole day, I had also wanted to make my way over to the Sugiyama apartment to visit Kotaro. He had sent me a message asking if I had time to come over, and so I made it a goal. But time kept slipping away. I had practice at 4:30PM (my last practice of the year before my trip to Tokyo!) and then I needed to meet my lab at 6:00 PM to attend the 'bonnenkai' ('saying goodbye to the old year party'). I kept thinking how much I wanted to make my way over to the Sugiyama house! But there was just no way. Practice was only the middle distance group, and only a handful at that. But Hanako-san had brought me some cookies that she had made for me, too! I had already run earlier, so I did a little warm up, a little lifting and abs, and then checked with Hanako-san to see if it was okay if I leave to make it on time to my lab. I wished her a happy new year! Since by the time I would return from Tokyo it would be the start of the winter vacation, it would be the last practice for awhile. I trotted my way over to the lab, half in workout clothes, half in normal clothes. I was also stressed because I had wanted to get to the lab early to attempt to use the printer and print my much-needed boarding pass for my flight in the morning. I barely made it there before 6PM, and one of my labmates helped me to try to print out my tickets. The printer (as is my usual luck) broke in the process, but somehow she pieced it back together and at the last moment we were able to print them before hurrying off with the second wave of labmates. We were headed to an Izakaya (japanese bar/restaurant). I have no love of such places. They are dim, smokey, and too rowdy for my taste. They combine three things I dislike: smoking, drinking, and meat. Fortunately, Mao-san, Nana-san, and Diao-san were all there. None of them drink, and so I enjoyed sitting with them. Mao-san was also especially protective of finding vegetables for me. One of her previous classmates at Hokudai was muslim, and so she had experienced how difficult it can be in Japan to follow specific dietary concerns. She was very sympathetic. As the evening wore on, I began thinking more and more how I would like to head on my way, and maybe make it to Sugiyama house. It is a darn good thing I stayed (there was no leaving early, anyways) because to my immense surprise Sakuma-san appeared holding a cake with birthday candles! It was my birthday, and also one of the other researchers. So both our names were written on the cake, and it was in the shape of a bear's face. I was so flattered, happy, and embarrassed. My lab has been such a welcoming place, and I could not ask for a kinder group of people (nor a kinder advisor). By the time things wrapped up, it was about 9PM. I knew that it would get to be far too late if I went to Sugiyama house at that point, because I would need to wake up at 5AM in the morning to catch a train to the airport. So I regretfully told Kotaro I could not make it there that evening, and if we could please celebrate when I returned. I also wanted to celebrate the fact that he had finished his graduation thesis. (A true accomplishment, considering that many Japanese students (or so I have heard) have a tendency to... well, not apply themselves fully to their graduation requirements. There is little fear of not graduating, of course, because university administrations are on the lax side of things.) However, my birthday wound up being cheerful and pleasant. I was nervous about spending a birthday away from my family and friends in the United States, but I need not have worried. I spent the last few hours preparing my small athletic bag for my trip to Tokyo. I tried to pack light. I set my bag next to my bed, laid out my clothes, took a breath, and set my alarm. The prospect of the trip ahead of me was both daunting and exciting, and I closed my eyes with these mixed feelings. It would be my first forage outside of Sapporo since I first arrived.

On Monday (11/19), I was able to sleep relatively late, til about 11AM! I was able to take my time, and showered.After getting back so late from our trip across Hokkaido, I slept very well. Almost the instant I slipped under the covers I had fallen asleep, and so morning came as if in the blink of an eye. I was still feeling relatively upset from the events that had occurred, involving Becca from the same program as I who you surely recognize from our many adventures, and her decision to move. I have to underline that of course it is her decision to live where she wishes and to do as she wishes. However, as I have described, the details and suddenness of this move really affected me and reminded me that one's actions are tied to others. That is why I try hard to use consideration, though obviously it cannot always be predicted how your actions will involve others. I told her when I woke up that I would like to talk to her.  She said she was going to the grocery store, and we agreed to meet downstairs and walked together. On the walk, I struggled with myself as to whether I should broach the topic I wished to discuss. But I kept it to myself, hesitant to bring it up or to cause trouble. After we finished our groceries, we sat down to eat lunch together. Thankfully, while eating, Becca encouraged me to speak about what I wanted to when I felt comfortable. I was relieved by this. If she had not said so, I think I would have kept it to myself. I took a breath and admitted that I had overheard Kotaro explaining that Becca and he would be moving in together which was a different story from what I had been told. I asked her if this was the truth. She said yes, but that it was only because the guys in Kotaro's apartment were getting a new roommate who had been having significant trouble in his previous living situation and so needed a place to stay. Therefore, they had decided that Kotaro and Becca would just move in together so that the new roommate could live upstairs and not downstairs with Becca, which may have been awkward for them both. I could understand this situation and subsequent arrangement, yet I remain baffled as to why no one cared to mention such details to me. I suppose it does not directly involve me, but it still would have been nice to know. Everything had been decided so quickly, and I had in every detail been left in the dark until the last moment. Becca had comforted me once before by saying that part of her motivation to move was because I too had expressed frustrations about the dorm, yet she felt I would not be willing to move, so she had considered it an opportunity for the sake of us both. Yet, learning the more precise details of the living arrangement, I admit that I began to doubt this motivation--well, not doubt, persay, because I understood the practicality of the arrangement. And in other ways, I also disliked the assumption that I would not be willing to move, since perhaps if I had more than 12 hours to think about it, I may have agreed. As a result of this motivation, I suppose, Becca had been adamant that I would be always welcome at the apartment and that was was hers was mine. So after thinking for many days, I had just accepted the idea that she would move. I had worked hard to get over my sadness and to see all the positives, and to remind myself that it was her decision to make and had not been intended to hurt me, when I learned the full details. I knew that in such a situation, with a couple living together, it would be impossible to always be welcome. I knew that such an arrangement was very different from Becca moving in on her own. There would be no way I could feel welcome to come by at anytime, knowing that a couple was living there and that I may not be able to spend the night. I saw myself becoming a third wheel all over again. I could see the practical reality of the situation, beyond whatever good intentions there were. I feared that the result would be that all of Kotaro's roommates and Becca were now in one place, with me so far away, and that slowly but surely I would be left behind. Though Becca assured me that was not the case, the fact remains that they are all about a 50 minute walk away, and all have the freedom to do all sorts of fun things without me. Which of course I understand (I cannot expect to always be invited), but I had already been sensitive to the fact that I was frequently left out, and now this was becoming both a figurative and literal reality. After that, we came back to the dorm. I was able to skype with my family. At 4:45 I had my Monday lecture with Koike-sensei who had only just returned from Helsinki. He had been there for about a week for a conference. He shared some chocolates with us from his trip. After the lecture, I screwed up the courage to ask if he would be willing to write a letter of recommendation for me to the graduate schools I am applying. Fortunately, he was happy to do so. We finished a bit earlier than usual, and so I headed back to the dorm to start rice in preparation for dinner before walking to the gym to meet Magali around 7PM. As you may know, we have a goal to meet every Monday to exercise together and lift weights. I had a very enjoyable time with her. She shared with me a very difficult ab routine, which I struggled with, but felt good after completing. I was impressed because she was able to do about 50 of each movement. My abs are completely gone, and so it is an uphill battle. But Magali is so cheerful and positive, it is a real pleasure to work out with her. While packing up she told me she had heard about my excitement concerning the desserts buffet called Shall We Sweets, that I had attended with the track team. We agreed that we must visit it together. Leaving, I admitted that it was certainly becoming chilly, since I could feel the bite on my hands without gloves. The fast, cold air while biking now truly does bite. I came back, and ate dinner.

On Tuesday morning I had Kanji class. It snowed in the morning, which was rather inconvenient. The professor and her stern ways are  starting to grow on me. Because of the cold in my room in the morning, I have a tendency to put on many more layers than necessary. So I arrived to class wearing far too many clothes.  I stopped for kuri pan on the way back. Around noon, I was supposed to  meet Joshua for lunch. I was a little stressed about this because I wanted to get many things done during the day. He called and asked if it was ok to push back lunch to 2:30PM, which worked better for my schedule anyways and so was a relief. I used the time to prepare some packages, then brought them to the post office before biking over the Keiteki dorms to meet Joshua. He shared some of his remaining birthday cake with me. We looked up the various ranking of international universities, since I am always talking about working on applications, and towards the end broached the topic of bioethics. I was excited by this, because of my experience in writing my historical research paper on plant right. While biking back, I had one of my first encounters with a truly rude person. A student and his girlfriend were walking hand and hand, taking up the whole path. I drifted along behind them, not wanting to surprise them, and tried to wait for an opportunity to pass. But they were not budging, so I said quietly 'sumimasen!' so they would know I was there. The man turned back looking surprised, then told me I should bike in the street! I was incredulous. Everyone uses the path to bike and almost no one bikes in the street. It is notoriously dangerous to do so. I even scoffed. I was not fast enough or brave enough to leave him with a witty comeback, though he certainly deserved one (actually he deserved to be smacked). I was astounded by how rude he was. Telling someone to bike in the street like that, as opposed to just sharing the path, was a direct jab. He was basically telling me to go get hurt. I wanted to point and say, "look there. There are three other bikers coming towards you. Clearly, you can bike on the path." But as I mentioned, I was not quick enough or confrontational enough. When I got back to the dorm, Satoh-san beckoned me excitedly to his desk. Then he lifted up a large box. I had received a package from home! This started to make up for the rude walker's comment. Although I tripped up the stairs in my excitement, I did not mind because I was very happy to at last receive a package from home. I hurriedly opened the box, though did not have time to look through it before it was time to leave for practice. For whatever reason, I was markedly cheerful at practice even though I hadn't been particularly looking forward to it that day because of the cold. I joined the sprinters, because very inconveniently I am not able to attend Wed/Fri practices which are key for middle distance runners. The workout was only 4x200m, then we threw medicine balls around afterwards. I finally declined to go with to onsen for the team trip ('nokai' or drinking get-together). I asked if this was rude of me, because I did not want to cause any trouble, and I was relieved when I was told it was just fine. After practice, I came back, bought dinner at Aeon which was so crowded at that hour, and ate up.

Wednesday was class as usual, filled with lots of snow and attempts to finish up applications. Then there was my Field Bioscience course in the evening. It is becoming more and more of a challenge to bike! On Thursday there was Kanji class in the morning. It was also Thanksgiving day! However, virtually no one was aware of it. There are not very many Americans in my Japanese classes, so I had expected this. After class I wished Happy Thanksgiving to one of my German classmates and he was quite oblivious to it. So I have learned that internationally, not much is known about the American holiday of Thanksgiving. About the only holidays that are well-known seem to be Christmas (of course, because it is not exclusive to the U.S.) and oddly enough Halloween. I waited for Becca to get ready, then just past noon we walked to the grocery store to purchase ingredients for the dinner we were planning. We bought a ridiculous amount of food, mostly vegetables and pie ingredients. Our menu was (on Becca's list): mashed potatoes, stuffing, apple pie, and cider. My list included sweet potatoe pie, walnut-honey pie, aspargus, and carrots. The plan was to cook at the large apartment we had visited long ago, when we first met Kotaro. It is called the Maeda place. Since we don't have cars or anything like that, we stubbornly loaded two backpacks, a large bag, and my sports duffle bag full of food and cooking utensils. We had such a huge amount of stuff. I needed to take my bike with so that I could go to my track practice in the evening in a timely manner. So we balanced one of the bags on my bike handle and proceeded. I found it to be quite a laborious walk, weighed down by so many precarious items. Kotaro met us about 3/4 of the way and that was a relief. Neither Becca nor I were certain if the guys living at the Maeda place were aware of our intentions to invade their kitchen. Becca was not sure if Kotaro had fully explained. Fortunately, they did not seem to mind. We finally reached their place by 3PM.  I was becoming rather anxious about the time--I had wanted to start cooking by noon or at least 1PM, knowing that I would have my track practice at 8PM. We got started, and although their apartment is larger than others, the kitchen is still comparatively cramped with only two burners and a small microwave oven. So Becca and I had to move carefully to utilize the space. We even lined up all the bowls of food we were preparing on the stairs, since there was no counter space to spare. The guys and various friends came and went, playing games and listening to music while we cooked. They seemed to know that they should leave us alone, and stay out of the way! By about 6:40PM, everyone was becoming really hungry, so although we were still putting the finishing touches on and working on pies, we ate. I was a little nervous about eating a big meal so soon before practice, but I conceded that Thanksgiving comes but once a year. The food turned out really good and everyone enjoyed it. We had wanted to share a typical American Thanksgiving, and I think we succeeded. I was really happy when everyone enjoyed the sweet potato pie. I ate hastily, then hesitantly left for practice.I had been very tempting not to go, but I felt that I needed to be responsible and I enjoy practice so much anyways. Somehow,  I biked and navigated successfully back to the gym. I had left at about 7:10PM, assuming I would end up getting lost for a while, so I made it early which was a relief. Practice started off with some basketball games. Then "30 second" sprints, where everyone lines up along the wall, then sprints back and forth touching either wall for 30 seconds (then repeat!). It ended with some wall sits. I was grateful when we got kicked out of the gym early, so that the next sports team could have their turn. I changed back into my normal clothes, then biked back to apartment. I wasn't sure if Becca and Kotaro would still be there, since it was just before 10PM. They had told me they most likely would be, so I tried to contact them to ask if I should come back. However, unfortunately, I couldn't reach either Becca or Kotaro, so I decided just to bike back to the Maeda place and see. I waited outside in the cold for about 20 minutes before Ukisu answered Kotaro's phone (to my surprise). I had real trouble explaining in Japanese that I was wondering if Becca was still there and if I could come up. I thought I was expressing myself correctly, but something must have been lost in translation because we talked in circles. Thankfully, Eguchi-san, a resident of the apartment, returned and saw me waiting outside so he walked up with me. Once back, I finished up some desserts. The microwave oven was in high demand. Becca finished her apple pie and laid out the chestnut chocolate mousse cake she had prepared. Kotaro asked if they could start, and she conceded. To my dismay, everyone just took forks and dug in! I definitely prefer to cut things neatly and put them on plates, and so I was distraught by this style of eating. I feel that it destroys the artwork of a dessert! But they were really enjoying the desserts, so I was happy for that. Becca experimented with creating apple cider. The apple juice here is not like plain apple juice--it is extremely sweet and sugary. But she managed to recreate the taste of cider! My honey-walnut pie had gotten last turn at the oven, so it finished last. It took a while to cook, and I was nervous watching it because it seemed to be a little to runny.  I wanted to test it out before letting the others see it, because I had never tried the recipe before and I was nervous from the look that it would be bad. Becca and I cut a slice, and she said that it was really good. So we shared it, and others seemed to enjoy it (though I was a little sad that by the time my pie came around, everyone was pretty full). I also liked it, and if I make it again I will try to make it less runny. If it had been the texture more of a pecan pie, I think it would've been great! After that everyone played cards, and I looked down at the clock after a bit. It was already 12:30AM. As usual, there was the long walk back to the dorm in the cold. We got back some time after 1AM. I realized with heavy sadness throughout the walk that this would be one of my last walks with Becca back to the international house. I was keenly aware that from then on, I would be left to walk home alone. Becca was very worried about finishing some of her work with the upcoming business of her move that weekend, and so although Friday was a Japanese holiday and we had actually made really fun plans to go horseback riding, she had asked earlier in the day if we could forgo it. To be honest, I was really disappointed because I had declined offers from two different groups (as I may have mentioned) of the promise that we would be going. Even though Becca said that she had declined things with other people too, I felt it was a little bit different for her since she was the one canceling. I also have graduate school applications to finish (which I have actually realized are due far sooner than Becca's), but I was looking forward to the little trip so much, so I could not hide my disappointment. I would have gladly helped out with the Sappachi Honey people (who had asked me to volunteer) or gone with other people on Friday had I known. But Becca seemed very nervous, and I felt like I would be a mean person to force her to go along with it so I told her we could wait.  I fell asleep at last about 2AM.

On Friday morning (11/23), I ended up having track practice. Hanako-san had mentioned it to me briefly the evening before, and I had suspected it would be morning practice because of the holiday. So although the exciting horseback riding trip was cancelled, I at least had wonderful track and field to take its place. Practice was at 9:15AM, but it was about a 20 minute subway ride away--at the old 1972 winter olympics skating center. So I had to wake up early to catch the subway. Hanako-san very kindly agreed to meet me at the Namboku line platform (thank goodness!). As I was getting ready in the morning, I hastily tried to skype home to my family as they were sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. My grandmother, aunts and Michael were there, so I got to see so many of my family members. I was very grateful for this. We were all impressed, I think, by how incredible it is to be able to use something like Skype to communicate (for free!) over such distances. I felt bad that I had to run off, and to leave by 8AM in order to reach the station by 8:30AM. While walking near the dorm, I tried calling home again on my iPhone to give a view of my walking route. The traffic was so noisy, though, it was not very successful. Somehow Hanako-san and I spotted each other perfectly through the windows of the subway as it pulled in, so we were able to hop back on together, and sit with a handful of other runners. I have seen the 1972 Olympic stadium while driving a few times, such as while leaving Sapporo for the trip with Koike-sensei and my lab. So I found it interesting to finally end up there. I was also excited to be walking and running in the same facility as onetime Olympians, even if they were skaters not runners! The workout for that day was quite intimidating, 900x600x300x3 sets. For the first set, I could keep up with Hanako-san. But I gradually wore down more and more, and on the last set I was very slow. While straining through the workout I could see the snowy weather through the windows. Apparently Hanako-san has to do her internship at the hospital for her physical therapy major so won't be at practice much. Afterwards everyone was going to get lunch, but it was already 12:30 and I really have so many things to get done, so I declined. However, that meant I needed to navigate back alone. It was a long walk back to the station, but Hanako-san typed the address into my phone so I could navigate with it. I managed to find the station successfully, get on the right train, and all the way back to Sapporo station. Sitting on the subway, looking out the windows at the beautiful falling snow and watching the mountains (mountains!) pass by, all after a good track workout, I truly felt thankful. I still cannot believe sometimes that I am really here. I fully expect to wake up from a dream at such moments.Perhaps because of the holiday, Sapporo station was packed. I was pushed along in a wave of people, and hardly had to locate the stairs on my own, because I was simply swept up them.  I was very hungry at this point, and ended up right outside of a cookie shop that I have visited before. So I bought some little cookies (with delicious and interesting flavors such as Custard, Cinnamon, Strawberry Cream, and Milk Tea). Outside the snow had really picked up since I had seen it from the windows. When once it was friendly and flurry, now it was so cold and snowy and slushy. My feet got soaked in the snow and melted puddles. I thought to myself that I might as well have taken of my shoes and gone barefoot, because there would not have been much difference. I was only wearing my old pair of running shoes, and not boots, so I was ill-prepared for the sudden change in weather. It was such slow going, and so difficult not to slip and fall. The sidewalks here are so treacherous, and never cleared at all. They become slick like an ice rink. It was nearly 2PM by the time I made it to Aeon, where I could at last get something to eat. I tried the vegetable Tempura. I let Becca know that I had made it back, and she came to meet me to eat lunch together. She needed to find curtains for her new apartment. Afterwards, I helped her pack some stuff into taxi in the snow. We road the taxi to go pick up her key, then to drop stuff off at her apartment. Becca excitedly opened the door to the completely empty apartment. I could definitely understand her excitement and happiness. But to be frank, I was not happy there. This signified to me the start of our parting ways. That may be too dramatic of a description--yet I knew that from here on out, everything would be different. Even though we may not have seen each other everyday at the dorm, it was such a comfort to know that she was there for me, and I was there for here. Frequently, in the evening, I would walk down the stairs with my banjo, and talk together and drink tea with her in her room, or she would come up to mine. I felt the stat of  jealousy and bitterness, and could not act especially happy although I was glad for her to have gotten what she wanted. Kotaro asked her if she would sleep at the apartment that night, and they brought down the mattress to set up the bedroom. That really made me sad--because it meant truly meant that we now lived in two separate places. We walked back to the dorm, to retrieve some more of her bags and pack, but decided to stop for dinner at Aeon since it was about that time. I made the mistake of getting Tempura again, which was a BAAAD idea twice in one night. That was too much grease for me in one day, even though I enjoy tempura. What was worse, it was full of onions. Luckily, Becca likes onions so I was really glad to be able to give them to her. I despise onions. If anyone has seen  my reaction when I accidentally eat a raw piece, you know how vehemently I dislike them. I can taste them in my mouth for days. So it really is fortunate when I am with someone who likes them, because I hate to waste them. Even though I was feeling pretty stuffed (and curse those onions, I could still taste them), Becca suggested we stop at Mister Donut to make up for the onions. I hope that she didn't feel bad about them showing up in my meal! She bought me a donut, and we sat together talking. We talked a bit more when we got back as she packed about our families, and various stories. That night,  I was going to start cookies and so I went back up to my room for a bit to get mixing, but realized with dread that I had forgotten baking soda. That would mean another slippery, perilous walk back to the grocery store. In the meantime, I helped Becca load up the taxi for trip 2, and she was confident that all of the bags and boxes would fit. Satoh-san and I were doubtful, but somehow it all fit!  With mixed feelings, I waved goodbye to her as she got into the taxi to bring her things to her apartment. I slipped and slid back to Aeon for baking soda and eggs, got back and mixed the batter, then went down to the lounge where the microwave oven is to start cooking. Unfortunately, I had not realized that the lounge closes at 11PM so only got part way done. But Satoh-san was kind to give me some extra minutes after 11, to finish up a batch. In return, I gave him a bunch of cookies. I had wanted to prepare them to give to the track team as a snack for their trip the next day (the nokai, 'drinking party' that I had declined). I had attempted to recreate the delicious walnut spice cookies I had bought at the small cafe in Shiretoko. They were not of the same caliber, but they were still good.

On Saturday morning I had track practice at 9:15AM, as usual. It was at the gym near the track. It had snowed heavily during the night, and so the walk there was slow and slippery, full of ice. The track was blanketed in snow. As it turned out, we would spend the first part of practice dismantling the track equipment outside, to store it away for the winter. This turned into a huge, and time-consuming ordeal, but with teamwork it all got done. I wasn't really sure how to assist, but I was given a room and helped clear of one of the jumping runways. Some of the guys attempted unsuccessfully to roll up the heavy mats in the snow. For perhaps 40 minutes they pushed, pulled, stumbled, grunted, strategized, stood with folded arms, but nothing worked. Finally, through various maneuvers they rolled them up, but crooked, so they had to redo them. There was no way to carry them, and at last they were hauled onto a cart which I watched make snail-like progress being dragged across the snowy in field by a team of about 5.  We also took down the throwing nets, and this was harrowing because it involved tipping over the large metal apparatus around the throwing pit. Inside, middle distance was to do weight training on their own. It was already about 11AM. Hanako-san and I did the main lifting together (and boy did I feel like an out of shape wimp, because I could only lift about half the weight she could). She sure is patient with me, though! Then I did some abs on my own. Afterwards, I got lunch at Aeon, and went to sort out my Softbank phone bill. Even though I had arranged direct withdrawals from my bank account, for some reason I still received a paper bill. I was worried because I actually had disregarded it for a long time, not realizing that it was a bill. I was glad when I reached the local Lawson conbini and successfully paid for it. But it was about twice as expensive as it was supposed to be, so I will have to figure out why. My next step was to seek out the running stores that Hanako-san had suggested to me. At Friday's practice she had been really kind to even drawn me a map, which was priceless to me in my expedition. I was really proud of myself that, even though I got lost a little, I managed to find all three stores! I enjoyed wandering through them and looking at all the exciting outdoor gear. My goal was to finally purchase a warm up suit/wind breaker like everyone else, but I am quite picky so only scoped it out this time. Afterwards, though it was a long cold walk, I felt extremely satisfied. I wandered somewhat haphazardly on my return, and to warm up in the crisp cold after the sun had fallen, I popped into a music store I had stumbled upon. I purchased a guitar tuner and strap, of the hope that I can finally tune my banjo (Note: I still can't, the tuner won't work for it.)  I got quite turned around along Oodori and completely by accident stumbled upon the Christmas lights being set up along Oodori park. At first I was really pleased and happy to wander through them. It was such a familiar feeling to being home in the U.S., to see all the bright lights and happy families out in the cold. It felt very Christmas-y indeed.  But after getting turned around again and again and very cold, I just wanted to know how to get back. At last I made it to Sapporo Station, and in order to warm up I decided to get Soup Curry for dinner even though it was only about 5:30PM. It was very delicious. Afterwards I took my time leaving, explored the ESTA building a bit more. I wound up right in front of a store called Vintage Vanguard, which I have been told contains all sorts of oddities and interesting things. I decided to look around. There were all sorts of interesting stickers, pins, books, toys, and trinkets. I bought some souvenirs, then headed back to the dorm at long last. Perhaps from being out in the cold so long, I fell asleep very early (around 9:45PM!).

On Sunday I truly did nothing. For the first time since arriving in Japan, I was inside literally all day. I worked on random emails, essays, and procrastinating. In the evening I finished baking the cookies I had started, and struck up a conversation with a fellow student, from Sakhalin in fact, when she came down to make tea. She is also in my kanji class. We commiserated about not wanting to use our heaters, and how our dorm is rather isolated compared to the very active Kita 23.  I shared some cookies with her as she studied, and I do hope we will get to bake together some time when I am less stressed. Little did I know, that same evening Becca dislocated her shoulder throwing a snowball! A little after 8PM I received a message from her informing me about it. Needless to say, I have forbidden all of my acquaintances here in Japan from throwing snowballs.

On Monday, I did very little if I remember correctly. Mostly just spent the day in my dorm, with the exception of attending my lecture in the evening with Koike-sensei, Diao-san, Nana-san, and Mao-san. I do really enjoy interacting with Koike-sensei. He is truly a character, but also as I cannot express enough, such a kind professor. Throughout the day I tried to stay in contact with Becca to see how she was doing. I wanted very much to help, but because of the distance and perhaps also because she is a very independent person she did not call upon me for help, although she has Kotaro and the boys to help in my stead. I was sad and frustrated not to be able to do anything to assist, and even more so that I had not been able to see her still since the accident.

Tuesday morning (11/27) started out as normal, and I even risked biking to Kanji class because the roads, though wet, were relatively clear. The spray of water from my rear tire always gets my back wet, so in puddly conditions I always arrive with a large wet patch along my butt and lower back. While sitting in class (which is heated to an almost intolerable temperature), the professor looked suddenly to the window with surprise. It had begun to snow! And not just a little bit; the streets and sky was turned to white. Everyone became distracted by it. Although the snow is beautiful, I looked to Magali with an expression of exasperation and perhaps a tiny bit of awe. By the end of class, the weather was turning into a real blizzard. I swept off a few inches of snow from my bike, then began to walk it back down mainstreet in the heavy snow. As I walked, there was a flash. At first I was puzzled; then thunder rolled above me. I laughed to myself--Hokkaido sure knows how to whip up a winter storm. There had been no sign of it in the morning. I had worn my normal coat and jeans, although fortunately with a pair of leggings underneath. That day, unfortunately, was the last day in the rent payment period. I have arranged direct withdrawals, but the first two months must be paid in person. I have been to the building only once, with Becca. It is not on campus, but next to Sapporo station. With a sigh, I realized there was nothing to be done for it. I would have to attempt to locate the building in the blizzard. At first I thought that after withdrawing the right amount of money at the campus conbini, I would lock up my bike and set out. Just as I locked up my bike in a bike parking area and headed towards the exit I saw a large truck collecting bikes that were, apparently, parked in the wrong place. I thought for a minute, and came to the conclusion that it would be just my luck to have my bike towed. So I turned around, and unlocked my already snow covered bike. From taking off my gloves so many times (a real mistake, any Minnesotan will tell you), my hands were frozen. The rest of my clothes were near to soaked, along with my feet. I decided I would just bring my bike safely back to the dorm, where there would be no risk of it being towed, and then suit up in true winter gear. Recently I purchased a cheap track suit at the all-purpose Aeon. I had hoped to wear it for warming up at track practices, but upon wearing it once realized in dismay that it truly did look like an outfit only an old man would wear. (I have since seen old men wearing almost the same get-up.)  In my opinion, it resembles more of a black garbage bag with yellow stripes. I reasoned that in the spring I would simply use it as forest work gear, so that it would not go to waste. Since I don't yet have all the proper winter gear, my silly track suit would have to serve. At the very least, it is semi-waterproof. So I pulled it on, tied my scarf, and grabbed my baseball cap, very much resembling an old Japanese man. My gloves were still soaking wet. I had so much trouble locating the building. I carried the address with me, but no matter which way I walked, it was either the wrong street or the building was not to be found. One of my frustrations with the arrangement of Sapporo is that, although I am sure that because of the grid-patten it is infinitely easier to follow addresses than the tangle of more southern Japanese cities, most of the streets do not have signs. So you may know that it is a grid, but until you locate a sign, you have no idea where exactly you are located on it. Rounding some of the corners, it was so windy I could hardly walk. At one point, I felt as though I was walking into a wall because of the strength of the gusts. After circling the entirely of Sapporo Station, I finally recognized the building. Exasperated, soaked, cold, but realized I entered the building and took the elevator up to the correct floor of the office. I sat down at the desk, handed the man my form, and he began to fill out the paperwork. I took out my money, and when presented the tray to place my rent in (all money exchanges in Japan involve a little tray to place your money in), I laid out 2,000 yen. The man stared at me in confusion. I looked down and realized, in horror, the problem. When withdrawing I had forgotten a zero. What should have been 20,000 yen was 2,000 yen (the same as handing someone $20 instead of $200). I couldn't believe it! I was so frustrated. I asked the man if there was an ATM anywhere nearby, knowing that there wasn't. He directed me to Sapporo Station. Upset with myself, I went back out into the blizzard. Across the street was a Lawson conbini with an ATM. However, after attempting to use it, it would not accept my bank card. Discouraged, I went to a 7-11 down the block. It was the same story--my bank card was not accepted at that ATM. Discouraged and angry at the ATMS and the situation, I searched throughout Sapporo station for an ATM. They are notoriously hard to find, and few and far in between. I thought about asking someone, but everyone was moving so quickly, and I looked like a crazy person. Finally, I located one and marched back to the rent office. By this time it was 12:20. I had been supposed to meet Becca for lunch at 12:30. We were planning to go to the Indian restaurant. Because of how long it had taken me to find the office, and then the ordeal with ATMS, in total I had spent about an hour on what should have taken 20 minutes. I told Becca I was on the way, and walked as fast as I could, but that I would be ten minutes late. As I was hurriedly walking over, my phone rang! It was Koike-sensei! He had some questions about writing the letter of recommendation for my graduate school applications and wanted to discuss more about my goals and my choices of schools. I was actually very frustrated, because I explained that I was busy at the moment and had made plans. I felt that to expect that I would be able to drop everything was a little unfair. But I did not wish to cause any inconvenience, especially because he is supporting me and doing me such a kindness, so I said that I could be ready in an hour. I finally reached Becca, seeing her for the first time since dislocating her shoulder. I had been so nervous about her making the walk to meet me in the storm, but with her coat over her shoulders, she appeared to me as confident and put-together as ever. Honestly, if it had not been for the sling, she hid her injury well! I apologized in exasperation for being late, and was so sorry, but explained the situation about needing to meet Koike-sensei. She graciously suggested that we eat at the campus cafeteria, which was right by us anyways. I was very grateful for her understanding, and the food is quite good at the cafeteria anyways. I ordered chige-nabe, which turned out to be delicious. I gradually began to realize how difficult simple things could be, without the use of your dominant arm. I had only faintly realized the fact that Becca had hurt her right arm. Despite this, she is really impressive with one hand. She pointed out that she was even able to finish her meal well before me. This just proves how slow of an eater I truly am. After lunch, we swung into the campus conbini and Becca picked out some candy. I told her that I would be happy to accompany her and help with any errands, if I could just go talk to Koike-sensei for a little bit. She was going to meet the others, who were picking her up soon, so she declined my offer. As we were leaving the conbini, my phone rang again. I answered quickly, knowing it would be Koike-sensei. As it turned out, Koike-sensei had actually just wished to speak with me on the phone for a while to discuss these topics, since he was not at his office but working from home that day. So his request was anything but rude, and given the fact that he is being so kind to write letters for me, explaining some of my choices is the least I can do. He had not expected me at all to drop all of my plans, but only to talk on the phone for a while. I felt inconsiderate to Becca, not wishing to interrupt Koike-sensei as he spoke to me, but also wanting to explain to her and to say goodbye. One of my least favorite situations is to be torn between speaking to someone on a phone, and speaking to someone in person at the same time. I do not want to be rude to either. Fortunately, Becca understood and I gradually drifted towards the Clark student center to continue talking with Koike-sensei. That evening, I had track practice in the gymnasium at 4:30PM. If I remember correctly, the workout that evening involved jumping over a line of hurdles continuously for ten minutes. When I was told this (indeed, when I first spied hurdles being arranged) I was apprehensive. I have never successfully jumped over a hurdle, and I dislike them greatly. I frequently describe myself as having a bad relationship with them. This is mostly because, during track, we would frequently do "hurdle mobility." This is a simple warm-up exercise for most gifted with normal flexibility and rhythm. For someone such as myself, lacking severely in both, I consider it torturous. I look forward to all things in track--Except. Hurdle. Mobility.  By my senior year, I had finally achieved the correct rhythm and improved significantly. However, there is one movement--squatting under the hurdles--which I will never be able to do. It always caused me so much pain and embarrassment to continuously attempt it. Hence, my apprehension. Also, having never actually JUMPED a hurdle, to do so for 10 minutes just seemed like a ridiculous situation for me. I thought, now someone must have learned of my dislike of hurdles and they are playing a cruel trick on me. I nervously told some of the girl runners that I had never jumped a hurdle. They were surprised and hastily tried to give me some advice. It came down to me hurriedly jumping over one just before we started. Well, I could clear it at least, I told myself. Before I knew it, we had started. Those in front of me in line became fewer and fewer--the hurdles coming closer and closer, until I had no choice but to start running towards it or be run down. With wide eyes, and fully prepared to end up in a tangle, I held my breath and jumped over the first hurdle. I can't do the proper hurdle jumping form, so I looked like a kid jumping a fence. But I was happy just to be able to clear it. Then came the next one, and the next one, and the next one, and the next one. Then circle back to the beginning and repeat. About 2 minutes through I thought, well, I guess I can do this! I have no choice! Just like those pushed into a pool must learn to swim, I had to keep moving. At about 5 minutes I thought, goodness, this is impossible. My legs were starting to tire, and it was so hard to keep moving and keep jumping. At about 8 minutes I thought, well this is actually a little bit fun. When it was done, I felt secretly extremely proud. Although I was glad to be finished, I felt that I had worked hard. I was so shocked to think back on what I had just accomplished. Having never jumped hurdles before, I had taken about the craziest crash course possible. Now when I see a hurdle I just shrug and say, I've seen worse. While I am sure my form looks ridiculous (in general, I am quite ridiculous looking in most things I do), I was pleased.

The roads are far too icy and precarious for me to feel comfortable biking. In the mornings this is troublesome, because my 8 minute bike trip has turned into about a 30 minute trudge (all the while fearing for my life as I inch along the ice rink that is Sapporo in the winter). So on Wednesday morning, I departed the international house early to try to gauge how long it would truly take. For lunch, I was supposed to meet Joshua at 12:30PM. After making the long walk back to my dorm after class, I had some work to finish that I was supposed to read for Koike-sensei's lectures. That morning I had sent Joshua a message letting him know that I would not be able to meet until 1PM, and I was relieved when, as I worked, he responded saying that would be okay. I was supposed to meet him at the north cafeteria, but I have actually only been there once. Not truly knowing its location, I of course got lost. I wandered all the way around the large Engineering Building, and all sorts of roads behind the main street before at last locating the cafeteria--it is literally just a stone's throw off of the main street. As it happened, he had been waiting there since noon! I was confused, because I had contacted him earlier, and very sad to have made him wait for so long. Time is a very precious thing to me, especially recently, and so I felt awful to have wasted somebody else's time. But he was very kind about it. I ate agedashidofu and rice. For a vegetarian, the campus cafeteria's are not too bad--at least they have tofu! In the evening I had my usual Field Bioscience course at 4:30PM. Of course, the walk was quite long to reach the course. It is all the way on the opposite end of campus. But I keep reminding myself to set out extra early. I dislike to be in a hurry, although I frequently am. Walking on slippery ice while stressed and in a hurry, however, is a recipe for disaster which I hope to avoid. The lecture focused on berries! The professor produces and grows raspberries and a strange berry called Haskap. It is dark purple, and similar in shape to a very, very tiny prune. To my surprise, the professor had brought frozen samples of the berries he grows. He passed them around the room for us all to share. It was so refreshing to taste raspberries again. I really love them, and have missed them. I have yet to spot them for sale in the grocery store (now they are out of season anyways) but I imagine that they are quite expensive if the price of strawberries and blueberries is any indication. After class I was supposed to go to the Indian restaurant with Becca, to make up for our rescheduling the day before. I sent her a message, only to learn that she had in fact slipped and fallen on the ice after a day full of tiring errands! She had popped her shoulder out again when she fell!  I was so worried for her. But she had made it back to her apartment safely, and so she had company. I offered to come over to help, but she said it was okay. I had halfway expected the dinner to be canceled, knowing that it may be too much (too far to walk, and too precarious in my opinion with one arm). I had not expected the slip, and I desperately wanted to be able to help. I picked up dinner at Aeon. Regrettably, the inarizushi and vegetarian sushi that I usually eat was for the first time not there. I chose something similar, but it turned out to taste old and chewy. It was no good. I made myself swallow as much as I could so as not to cause waste, but boy did it taste bad! 

On Thursday morning I had Kanji class in the morning, and track practice at 8PM in the gymnasium. It was also my dad's birthday! I was glad to learn that he safely received the picture book of Japanese farms that I had sent him. The gym is in high demand during the winter, so now and again we must deal with odd practice hours. If I am not mistaken, the workout was a team version of what I have always called "killers." This means you run, touch a line, run back, touch a line, etc. We divided up into groups, and so I was the only girl on my 7 person team. I was the last runner in the order, too. Each person would run three times in a set, after being tagged by the person ahead of them in the order. I was nervous that I would be too slow, but everyone is so encouraging and supportive. Because I stick out like a sore thumb, most of the team knows my name. So when it came to my turn, I could hear the guys on my team cheering just as loudly for me as they had for their other teammates. This really made me smile and to try hard. I remain astounded by the kindness that the team has shown me, not only in welcoming me, but in being patient, explaining things to me, and putting up with my perpetual state of confusion.

On Friday morning (11/29) at 8:45AM I had grammar class. Because I now travel on foot, as opposed to on my speedy bicycle, I did not feel that I would be able to make it all the way back to my dorm and back to the Agricultural building in only an hour and a half. I had brought my laptop with me, knowing this, and hoping to use the time somewhat productively. Originally, I considered going to the library. But after class I felt really hungry. I tried to decide between getting an early lunch or just getting some bread for a snack. I gave in to the idea of Chige-Nabe (basically stewed vegetables with kimchi) from the cafeteria. I walked back to the cafeteria closest to the Agriculture building but it does not open until 11AM. I pulled out my bulky laptop to try to finish some of my essays, but because even a full battery on my laptop dies within about ten minutes, I could do very little. It had begun to flurry again outside. After the cafeteria opened, I ordered the Chige-Nabe, and sat and enjoyed it. Regrettably, as with virtually all Japanese meals, there were meat bits floating about. I felt guilty as I plucked this out. I found myself thinking how disrespectful it is of me to the animal, to waste the meat. At the same time, I have such a strong association between meat and flesh at this point, that I just could not drive myself to eat the pieces of meat. So although I had been looking forward to the meal, in the end it was not so enjoyable because of the guilt of knowing that truly, I had done worse to completely waste the pieces of meat than someone who simply consumes it. I am interested to know what others think of such a connumdrum. Normally, I offer whatever errant meat appears in my food to those around me. In the U.S., I am very stringent about not even eating things cooked with meat broth. In Japan, where fish are apparently vegetables and broth cooked with bones is not a meat product, this is just not possible. Waiters never intentionally mislead me, it is simply that they do not understand how strict I am, and culturally the concept of what counts as meat is not quite the same. I walked over to the Agriculture Building, arriving about 15 minutes too early. I stood outside of the seminar room until Ogura-san appeared and so I followed him in. I am growing accustomed to listening to Koike-sensei's translations at the same time as I attempt to listen to the Japanese, and I look forward to the seminars anyways. I was feeling a little anxious, however, because that evening I was going to attend a thanksgiving party that Diao-san had invited me to at the International House Kita 23. I had asked Becca if she would like to join, and had not yet heard from her. Furthermore, I had hoped to cook some sweet potato pie before going to the get together. As I have my Environmental Science lecture at 4:30 on Fridays, my window of time was limited. I also wanted to fit in a run. After class, Koike-sensei was kind to give me some literature to look over related to the seminar. Then I headed back to the dorm. I decided, heck, why not change into running gear and through a few coins in my pocket so that I could loop by the grocery store on my way back. I needed to pick up marshmallows for the sweet potatoes, and maybe some extra squash. I was not particularly excited about going for my first run in the icy conditions, but slowly made myself change into running clothes. It was snowing heavily as I watched out the window. But in fact the snow helped to cover up the ice and provide decent traction. My legs felt a bit tired, but happy to be running, and gradually (as always) I was began to enjoy myself. I made a simple circle around the outside of campus, looking like a lunatic for being out running on the snowy/icy streets. As I learned the next day, one of the Hokudai distance runners spotted me running, I was pleased to learn! She had recognized me from a distance, she later informed me. By the time I was looping back towards Aeon, though I felt somewhat silly looking, I was enjoying my first true winter run. I felt even more goofy, looking sweaty and wearing my running tights and all black running clothes walking through the grocery store. I'm sure there were many stares. But it saved a lot of time just to add the grocery store to my run. As I was picking out marshmallows, I perceived an older Japanese man observing me. I tried to appear unconcerned. He seemed to be thinking about saying something. Just as I thought he might turn his cart to leave, he turned and addressed me in what I can only assume was Italian. The only word I understood was the Italian for Japanese (if it was indeed Italian). I told him apologetically, in Japanese, that I spoke English. In retrospect, I should have switched to Spanish to see if we could have met half-way linguistically. I am sure he had wanted to practice another language, and to be honest I would have been happy to humor him. I don't really mind giving others a chance to practice another language. I get to practice Japanese all day, anyways! I walked back to the dorm, then started making the sweet potato/squash. I finished just in time, a little before 4PM, and packed up my backpack, put the dish in a bag then headed off towards class. Koike-sensei was the lecturer that evening, and I was happy about this. He is such a cheerful man. I got to class very early. When Koike-sensei arrived, he struck up a long conversation with Diao-san and I. Koike-sensei, as I have mentioned, can talk for a very long time, and is quite animated. He actually continued to converse past the start of class! I enjoyed his lecture, and was both flattered and sheepish when he would refer to me while presenting in connection to the research that I will be hopefully participating in. Midway through class I finally received a message from Becca on my phone. I glanced down at it, and could only see a piece. But from that start of the sentence, I could sense the content and steeled myself before looking at the full content. She stated that unfortunately, no, she would not be coming with to the Thanksgiving party (I had expected this), and that she needed to tell me that she would be flying home to the United States departing on Sunday (I had not expected this, but sensed its inevitability). I did not know what to think, and tried to keep focused on the lecture. I felt so sad for Becca and her predicament, and knew that I would miss her. I asked her if at some point I could come over to help. After class I walked with Diao-san to the International House 23, with Becca's message on my mind. I really enjoyed walking with Diao-san, and I had of course been looking forward to spending the evening cooking with her, and contributing to the food for the Thanksgiving party. But I was so worried for Becca, as well. I spent some time in the kitchen, toasting the marshmallows on the squash and then assisting as I could in chopping vegetables and bread for stuffing. But I felt so torn. I could not stop thinking about the sudden news that Becca would be leaving. As I friend, I felt that I should go to her. If she would be leaving on Sunday, I told myself, I ought to go to her. I could not decide what to do. I stayed as long as I could helping to cook, and then I felt so bad to tell Diao-san that I had to leave, but truly I felt that I needed to. I felt equally bad for worrying everyone, and especially Diao-san who is so sweet and considerate. I left my sweet potatoes, and told Diao-san to please enjoy it and that I was so sorry to leave them, but that they should all have a wonderful evening. I tried to walk quickly on the icy streets. I did not know what to do, but all I wanted to do was to help. I was picturing Becca, and how upset I would be if I were her. So guided solely by my worry, I hurried into a supermarket. Becca had said she wanted to try to create a Christmas atmosphere in her apartment, so I searched for Christmas themed decorations and ran through the supermarket grabbing anything that looked delicious enough that it would maybe offer some comfort. I ended up with quite a few baguettes, a chocolate cake, chocolate bread, etc. I tried to hurry to navigate over to the apartment but of course got lost. I was so frustrated to be lost. I tried so hard to find the apartment on my own. It is a little bit tucked away, and so even though I can always locate the correct intersection, in the dark I am never able to find the right spot. I circled and wandered around the same set of blocks, even looking on my phone GPS to try to pin point the right turn, but to no avail. I spent about half an hour lost, and growing more and more cold. I finally gave up and, very hesitantly and regretfully called Becca. I hadn't wanted to bother her, and was embarrassed nonetheless. I feel as though everyone is starting to get rather annoyed that I always have trouble finding the apartment, but I do wish they would be patient. I could tell she was perhaps exasperated when I explained I was lost, but trying hard to make my way there. Somehow, I made it. I had been excited to give Becca the gifts I had bought to maybe offer some help and cheer, but when I walked in she already had so many Christmas decorations. I was surprised! And admittedly a little sad, because the help that I try so hard to give always ends up falling short. I was also, if I am honest, really sad to learn of her story of recreating Christmas morning for Kotaro, how they had all eaten breakfast together, and the interactions with everyone in the apartment(s). I felt a jab in my heart--that yes, indeed, it is as I foresaw. There is much that I will be left out of, and have been left out of. All I have ever wanted is to be included and I am so sensitive to being left out. Recently, because of the move, I have felt so very left behind and left out. I know that is not (hopefully) anyone's intention. But it is the reality. Becca has so many troubles of her own, I do not wish to bog her down with these thoughts of mine, but they have a way of showing themselves on my face nonetheless, or coming out in different ways. She did not seem overly distraught by the situation, though I know that Becca is very strong and does not easily become upset, and explained that it was necessary for her to go back to get proper surgery for her shoulder. As I mentioned, I am of course sad that she will be gone, but understand completely and wish her the best. We went upstairs after a bit, and I ate the hasty inarizushi I had grabbed for dinner, since I had not eaten yet. We all ate the cake, and I was glad to have it shared with so many people. We watched some movies that Zenta-san and Becca enjoy, and a very nice friend of Zenta and Kotaro-san's, nicknamed Daru-san was there. She seems very sweet. I did not find the movies quite as hilarious as everyone else, but I was happy that they enjoyed them so much. It began to get late, and I knew I would have early practice so I told Becca eventually that I would need to leave after just one more card game. During the card games, it has ended up that I am teamed up with Becca in order to compensate for my ineptitude. Kotaro-san suggested this, but in actuality I would rather try to fend for myself. That would be the only real way for me to improve. But I am not much of a card player anyways, so I suppose I do not mind too much. When I stood up to go, I was actually very sad that no one really gave a very animated goodbye. That is mostly just me being self-conscious, but I still felt a little stiffed in my self-consciousness, as though it didn't matter if I left. Worse yet, I was faced with the long, very cold and lonely walk back to the dorm. I dread this, and resent it greatly. It is a constant reminder of just how left out I truly am, even if, as I have said, that is not be the direct intention of anyone. I was so angry and sad walking back. I kept telling myself, I knew this would happen, and that I knew that such an apartment arrangement with me living so far away would lead to this. I could feel the reality of the situation, which I had predicted to myself, playing out before me. And this made me sad, a little bitter and over all hurt. I could see the same situation that has occurred numerous times in my life once more unfolding.

On Saturday morning I had track practice at yet another new location. To my immense relief, Hanako-san said that she would meet me at the Sapporo station platform and ride the subway with me, knowing that I would probably not know how to reach the location. I was quite surprised when she sent me a message saying to meet her at 9:30AM. I thought certainly there was some mistake, because usually I have to be up and at the station by about 8AM. I woke up at about 6:30AM somewhat panicked after forgetting to set an alarm and sent her a message to double check the time. Sure enough, she told me that was correct. So it ended up feeling much more relaxed, and I felt much more rested when I reached the station. I made it to the correct platform and was very excited to see Hanako-san as she came down the stairs to greet me. She has been such a help to me. I asked her what the workout would be, and presented her with perhaps my most incredulous face yet when she informed me that middle distance would be doing 5x2000m. She sensed my hesitation, and told me that the sprinters would be doing 4x400m, and that probably I should join them. Usually, I am all for a challenge. But even I know my limits. I seriously doubt that I would have successfully completed 5x2000m going at the constant pace of 'as fast as possible.' I felt so bad selecting the sprinter workout, however, because if I do not run the middle distance workout, then Hanako-san is the only girl. But there was no avoiding it this time, and Hanako-san really seemed to agree. We practiced in what is called the Tsuudomu, also known as the Community Dome/Center. It is a dome, like the metrodome, with turf inside, tennis courts in the middle, stands, and a narrow track that circles around the second level. Mostly, it was just packed. There were middle-schoolers, other teams, and a multitude of tennis players all over the place. Warming up was a struggle as we snaked through tennis matches and narrowly evaded errant tennis balls aimed our way by middle schoolers. Eventually we were told to stop running around on the ground level amongst the tennis players, and so we did our best to do drills underneath the stands. The reason we had met late, I gradually learned, was because you can only use the upper track for speed workouts at specific times. So we actually did not end up starting the 400s until 11AM. All of the sprinters were divided into teams of about 8. To my surprise, all of us girls were not put on one team but distributed amongst the guys. This made me a little nervous (because I am so self-conscious that I am just about the slowest I have ever been right now) but also excited. At St. Olaf, the men's and women's teams always practiced completely separately. But here we are often all lumped together. So this was a chance for me to run with the guys. When our team was divided up and collected (team 1!), they all groaned realizing that they were all very short sprinters and had somehow ended up on the same team. Since we were doing 400s, I found this amusing. They bemoaned the fact that they would together form a quite slow bunch over what to a short sprinter is a long distance. I piped up that at least they had me! And pointed out that actually I am mostly a middle distance runner, so I would do my best to even out the odds. Of course, I had to follow up this statement with the fact that I am not very fast right now. I was the 6th runner in the group. The workout was 2 sets of 2x400s in a relay style with a runner from each team going at the same time, much like a race. We had about 10 minutes to recover between the sets. The speeds all varied individually because they were at the eternal pace of "as fast as possible", and so we would become quite separated out, but it was fun nonetheless. You would keep the time for the runner that was two places ahead of you. Then jump over the fence around the running lanes, tap hands with the incoming runner and take off. The lanes were all so packed with other teams and runners doing their workouts, it was a little harrowing to try to sprint full out, but still fun. One lap around the lanes was conveniently 400m. My times were snail pace, compared to what they should have been. In fact, my 400m splits in my 800s are faster than the times I ran my legs in. My times hovered around the humiliating time of 70 seconds. There was a time when I could run a 65 second 400m without feeling too out of breath. But at least I'm getting to run! And I am hopeful that right now the problem is mostly just my lack of muscle. Generally my legs tire before my breathing. I also (I must hope!) was not properly warmed up, as evidenced by the fact that my last 400m was the fastest. And I had quite a bit of energy left at the end, so I joined a group of guys who were throwing in an extra 300m just for fun at the end. I told them all they need not worry about losing, because as a favor to them I would lose. But I was still just happy for the chance to run around. During the sprinter workout, I could occasionally spy Hanako-san as she pushed on in her seemingly endless 2000m. I tried to cheer for her especially when she passed by. After my 300m, I managed to find her just after she had finished her last 2000m and offered to cool down with her. I told her as we ran that for me, I am such a strange mix of sprinter/mid-distance. The long distance workouts are just beyond my limits, but the sprinter workouts are not quite enough to wear me down (and I'm not quick enough anyways), so sometimes I would sneak my way into being a rabbit for other people's workouts after I finished my own in order to gain a little extra workout. The main goal in doing this, of course, is because I really like to help others as much as I can to get through what can be difficult workouts especially on your own. So I informed her that if she ever needs someone to be a rabbit, she can feel free to call on me. Hopefully she will! I had told Becca that I would meet her for one last meal at the Indian restaurant, but after learning how late practice would start, asked her if 1:30PM would still be okay. I knew that because of the subway ride and late start I would not be back before 1:30. Luckily, this was okay with her. When I got off the subway, I was right in front of a Mister Donut so I bought one for each of us. I met her at Sapporo Station and we walked together to the Indian restaurant. It has been a little while since we were able to go, and I was so glad to be back. The food there is my favorite. Becca explained to the owner that she would not be around for a while, and he told her that when she comes back, she can have a free meal. Afterwards, I went with Becca through the station to try to help pick out souvenirs for her family. After successfully finding items (and suffering through the sauna-like temperatures of the heated stores), we sat down at a Starbucks to get an iced drink, cool down, and eat our donuts. I told her that she is truly fulfilling her role of Frodo in the Fulbright Fellowship. Her shoulder injury and return to the U.S. to recover is all too similar to Frodo being stabbed by the Ringwraith and recuperating at Rivendell. Because I needed to pick up my water bottle from her apartment/Kotaro and the guy's place, she asked if I would not just want to walk back with her. We took the subway a few stops to minimize the icy walk and risk of Becca slipping on the dangerous sidewalks. At the apartment(s), I helped Becca pack some. Kotaro cooked noodles upstairs, but unfortunately there was hamburger on the top. And I wasn't too hungry, to be honest. I was very kind of him to cook, but I just did not want to eat it and I felt bad for causing trouble. I tried to offer it to their new roommate, Simon, and fortunately he was happy to eat it. But I felt that perhaps I had frustrated Kotaro by not wanting to eat it. He said he would make me some without meat, but I did not want him to have to do this. There was no stopping him though. Indeed, I have felt a little edgy around Kotaro since the whole move. Apparently, as far as I can surmise, he is frustrated that I do not feel welcome and this is coming off to me as impatience. It is equally frustrating to me, however, because impatience makes me feel even less comfortable with the whole situation. Outside it had really started to snow hard, and it was piling up on the sidewalks and streets. We played cards for a while longer, but Zenta-san had underclassmen coming over to visit, and folks were smoking and drinking in the crowded apartment so luckily Becca and I went back downstairs to finish up her packing. She talked with me as she packed and I mostly just sat, observed, listened to music, and did my best to converse. Around 9:30PM, I started to hint that I should head back to the dorm. At one point, Becca had suggested that maybe I could just stay the night. Because of the heavy snow outside,  I really was frustrated about the long walk ahead of me trudging through deep snow. It usually takes about 50 minutes on foot to get back, after all. As the guys were all getting a bit rowdy upstairs and probably planning to be up late, Becca said I wouldn't be able to stay upstairs, and since the main room of her apartment is not heated, it would be too cold to stay there so I would have to walk home. This actually really, truly hurt my feelings. When the whole idea of moving had initially been brought up, Becca had assured me and comforted me regarding the situation that of course her apartment would be like "our" apartment and I was always welcome there. This situation with the snow and being sent home drove home the reality that I had always tried to explain to her-- how can I possibly feel welcome any time knowing that I will not know when and when I cannot stay over? How can I possibly feel welcome when there is always the possibility that I will be sent on a long walk home, late at night, in the cold and a winter storm? Towards the end of our conversation, I tried to hint that I felt that Kotaro-san has recently been rather short with me, which I have interpreted as frustration or dislike. She told me, in what I felt was an exasperated tone, that it is probably because of what I mentioned above--that he may be annoyed that I feel unwelcome. But honest to goodness, I have been so hurt by the whole arrangement, I do not know how any normal person would not remain feeling uncomfortable and unwanted. Now everyone is living together except me. Everyone can laugh, stay up late, plays cards, go to dinner together, and not worry about the long walk ahead of them. I alone make the long walk home, in the cold and by myself, often late at night. I tried to hint at how I would like to be able to stay the night. Secretly, I wanted to say that I found it so inconsiderate--that the reality of Becca and Kotaro living together as a "couple" is the main point of my discomfort and hurt. I have been traded in. And worst of all, because they are a couple, they have the warm bedroom and in the instance of a snowstorm, there is no place for me to go. Their relationship trumps my friendship--at least, that is how things have played out, even if no one but me is aware of it. I came so very near to explaining this, but did not want to upset Becca the night before she would be leaving. I am sure that her shoulder injury has been so difficult for her, and the necessity of returning to the United States for surgery cannot be easy on her. I did not want to bring up my sadness, or to cause a dour atmosphere, but that was the result. Parting, standing at the stairs as she walked back up to the apartment, I was shocked that our parting before she heads back would be so brief. I thought surely she would want to say goodbye for the time, or at least share I hug. I asked her if, at the least, I could give her a hug. She will be going home for a whole month and a half. Over the time we have been here in Japan together, I had thought that we had formed a close friendship. I had been expecting to share a goodbye with her. But there was not much of one, though I tried to wish her well. Setting off in the deep snow, in the cold and the dark by myself for the second night in a row I was so sad and frustrated. I trudged along, the snow pouring into my boots and freezing my toes. Of course, in fairness I know only my own thoughts and my own perspective on the story. If nothing else, however, by half way through my long walk I was comforted some by the beauty of the snow even if it was cold pushing through it. When I got back, I at long last changed out of my running clothes. I had worn them all day, because I had met Becca at the station directly after practice. Therefore, I had felt stinky, hot and uncomfortable in my workout clothes and wanted greatly to take them off. I  took a shower to warm up and feel less disgusting. I fell asleep while holding my phone to set an alarm.

On Sunday (12/2) morning I had 9:15AM track practice. When I woke up, I was very cold because my heavy blankets always slide off my bed onto the ground in my sleep. I also remain stubborn about turning on my heater. During the night it gets down to about 27 F, but even without turning on my heater it stays a liveable temperature in my room. I just wear layers. The only troublesome time is in the morning, and the difficult step of emerging from my blankets.  The first thing I did when I woke up was to send a message to Becca. I really had wanted to see her off, or to go with her to the airport. But she told me that I should not worry about it, and that she did not want to take up my time. Really it would not have been a trouble, but a relief for me to get to say goodbye. At least, though, it meant I would be able to attend practice. I guessed that it would be at the gym near the track, because Hanako-san had mentioned that the workout would be weightlifting. I suited up and headed out into the snow. Because of the heavy snow the night before, everything was blanketed in white. There is probably about a foot and a half of snow on the ground now, and as it was early in the morning when I set out, in was mostly unbroken.  As beautiful as the snow is, now that I am always on foot, I am more fully comprehending how inconvenient it can be. Especially when I have a long walk. But I have still not mastered the art of estimating how long a walk will take in the snow. I either arrive extremely early, or cut it close to being late--I have not yet found the right amount of time to allocate. When entering, everyone says 'ohaiyou gozaimasu' (good morning) to the teammates present, or konnichiha (hello) if it is the evening.As a side note, when leaving the track or workout facility, many of the members also turn back at the exit and bow to the track, even. I really like this philosophy--I think, though I am not certain, that it is meant to say thank you to the track. After meeting in the Circle Kaikan (Club/Activity Circle Meeting building), we waded through the snow over to the gym next door. There were six girls present that day, and so we divided into two groups of three. I was familiar with many of the lifting exercises, but regrettably very weak compared to the other two girls, who were able to lift much more than I--although I could not tell you how much weight, because everything is in kg and not pounds! I have so little muscle, it is just embarrassing. I strongly dislike the feeling, and I feel like a burden to have to keep removing weight from the bars, then putting them back on, when it is only me who is too weak. But I do really like all of the girls on the team, and both Tomomi-san and Toi-san, who were in my group, were very patient with me despite the fact that I could never say how much I could lift (because of the conversion and my long lifting hiatus) so we had to keep experimenting with weights. I just want to be able to do everything that everyone else can do. I just want to be fast, or at least fast enough not to embarrass myself. But that frustration does not outshine how happy I am to have been so kindly welcomed. I did my best through all the lifts, until one of my great enemies in the world of weight lifting, the deadlift, came up. Physically, whether it is because of the way my bones and limbs are put together or if it is just because I lack flexibility, or a combination, I really struggle to do the movement. It is not that the weight is to heavy, or that the movement is especially hard; I simply cannot move in that way, just like some people can roll their tongues and others can't. So even though everyone tried assiduously to show me the correct form, I could not replicate it. That was quite humiliating, and I could not properly explain. After that struggle, Tomomi-san and Toi-san directed me to the treadmill where some of the sprinters were doing short intervals at high speeds and with a slight incline. We could choose how long and how fast to run, and I decided to attempt running for 1 minute at the same speed as the 400m runner before me, just as she had done. Regrettably, I am still out of shape and could feel my legs giving way at 50 seconds and so as not to fly off the tread mill, I jumped off at 50 seconds (we had agreed beforehand that I would go as long as I could before I felt like I would fall off). After practice was dismissed, I enjoyed sitting and talking with some of the girls while they tried to help one of the faster girls with a potential calf injury. They are all so cheerful and friendly, and we all collected our stuff from the locker room (actually just the shower/bathroom since there is no women's locker room, as you may remember) and walked together for a ways. I am hoping one day to take them up on their invitations to go along to eat, or spend time together. Right now I feel rather stressed and pulled in many directions so I had to force myself to decline. But their kindness really does make me smile and I can't wait to join them all. Today, by the way, I learned the Japanese words for lactic acid and oxygen (nyuusan and sansou). My Japanese vocabulary may end up with a strong bias towards track and field terminology. This is because I finally mentioned to the 400m runner, Rinko-san, who was using the treadmill with me that lactic acid can build up after sprinting and that it is probably not a good idea for us to stand still after sprinting. On my team, it was always strongly encouraged not to stop moving immediately after a sprint or an interval. Rather, you should jog during the rest to keep your legs warm and loose. Almost everyone here, however, really stops moving between sets, some even flopping down on the ground at the end. It makes me cringe when I see this, because I have always been told to keep moving even if you want to sit down. It is important to help your legs recover, and to breath. I tried to explain the build up of lactic acid in Japanese, and somehow was actually successful. So Rinko-san jogged around with me, and we exchanged vocabulary. Another runner, Moe-san, joined us and she happened to know the Japanese word for lactic acid. Hence, my new-found knowledge. Feeling quite happy, I parted ways with them and headed back towards the International House through the snow. But the sky had turned blue and the sun was out, so I enjoyed the walk. I was still nervous about Becca's flight, and had not heard much from her. I decided to go pick up lunch and groceries at Aeon. I ran into two Chinese exchange students from the dorm on the little path headed to Aeon and walked with them there. Then I went upstairs to seek out potential winter boots or winter sweaters to keep me warm in my dorm. When I came back downstairs I bought inarizushi for lunch. But the food court area was completely packed and there was absolutely no place to sit down to eat lunch. I stood around an waited anxiously for a table to open up. A very large one, consisting of tables all pushed together, became open and I hurried to claim a spot. A group of three also had their eyes on the table, and they asked if they could use the other ones. I said of course. But all the tables remained pushed a little too close together for my comfort and I felt self-conscious. Sure enough, one of the ladies addressed me and tried to strike up a conversation with me in English. Her English was actually perfect, and I think she was just trying to be friendly, but really when it comes to eating lunch after a workout, I would prefer to be left in peace. But I tried to politely answer the string of routine questions (where are you from? how long have you been here? Are you a student? Oh, I see you must be a vegetarian). I found it especially nice that she explained she would have offered me some of the gyoza the three were eating, except she surmised correctly from my meal that I am a vegetarian. I ate up, then after picking up some melon-pan for later headed back to dorm. I was glad to receive a few more messages from Becca informing me that she had made it to Tokyo successfully and would be boarding her plane home soon. It is still sinking in that she will be gone for so long. Once back, it was already about 2PM. I drank some milk with my melon-pan, then tried to snag a quick nap and finish things. At 6:30PM, I was to meet Joshua at the International Student Center to eat dinner. I told myself to leave the dorm by 5:50PM at the latest because I was not sure how long the walk would take. Now that there is snow, it is less icy, but still very slippery and perilous in places. Walking in the crisp, dark evening, I actually felt quite comfortable. The temperature has been hanging around 30 F, which with the correct arrangement of clothes is really pleasant. I ended up reaching the ISC with plenty of time to spare, by about 6:15 in fact. I stood at the entrance and watched the very empty main street, and the dark sky. Flocks of crows passed overhead, sitting for a time in the trees, but always circling anew. It was quiet, which I always look forward to in winter, and I could hear each rustle of their feathers as they swooped into the dark branches. Joshua pulled up on his bike, very bundled in clothes. I do worry for him in the cold, because being from a warm country he is not accustomed to the winter as I am. But he has a very positive attitude towards it. It was left up to me to name a place to eat. The cafeterias on campus are inconveniently closed on weekends, after all. I had tried to think of a place nearby while walking to the ISC. At first I did not think I would be able to think of anything that I felt was close enough, but then I remembered a restaurant that always catches my eye at the exit gates just past the ISC. It is strung up with Christmas lights recently. It only took a few minutes to reach. I was relieved when we entered and it was actually quite spacious, with large wooden tables and benches. I am guessing that since it is just outside of the campus gates it must cater to many students, especially international students and clubs. The menu was fortunately also large, although my options are as usual very limited. I ended up with Wakame Udon (basically seaweed udon). I do enjoy talking with Joshua, though I am not an especially talkative person--I don't usually feel that I have much new information to share. The Udon was a nice warm up, though, and kept me feeling comfortable in the cool air on the walk back.  When I returned, I attempted again to work on my applications but mostly procrastinated.

As a whole, I think that I have become quite adjusted to life in Sapporo. With the exception of the chilly mornings in my room, I am growing accustomed to the cold again. Though I must say that the weather here rivals Minnesota in its unpredictability. I doubted those who warned me of the cold here in Hokkaido, and I have yet to see a truly frigid day, but they were right about the snow. There is a lot. Sometimes it melts down to bare pavement again, but you can be sure that there will be snow fall by the next day.  Meanwhile, I am wishing Becca the speediest and easiest of recoveries in the U.S. She will be back in Sapporo before I know it, I have full faith. If all goes well, by January even! I think that she is a very strong young lady, and despite the many difficult situations that have been thrown her way over the past few months, she has handled them with great poise and positivity. I am wishing for her that, when she arrives back in Sapporo, it will be with renewed vigor, a refreshed mind, and a hale body. Her return home was so sudden, it will likely take time for me to fully process. I will certainly miss her while she is gone. But I must also remember to use this time to grow, and to become more independent. Everything remains an adventure, for which I will never cease to be grateful. There have been bumps in the road, but that does not detract from the overall incredible opportunity I have had thus far. So although I have gone to great lengths to describe the events of these past few weeks, which sometimes include rocky patches, I am extremely happy. I describe my reactions mostly for the sake of good record-keeping! I miss my friends and family in the U.S., of course, but not a day goes by that I do not feel incredibly lucky to be here. 

P.S. What? It is December already!

This is long! But it covers many days.

The Saturday morning before last, Becca and I attended a field trip to the Tomakomai experimental forest just under two hours away from Hokkaido University. The field trip was organized by the professor of one of my HUSTEP (Hokkaido University Short Term Exchange Program) environmental science courses. Previously I had asked the professor if he would not mind Becca coming along, and he was excited for her to attend. Professor Koike also came with, and acted as a very knowledgeable tour guide. Becca and I stopped (unsuccessfully) at the post office, and then at a conbini to pick up lunch to pack with for the day. Then at 9:30AM we biked over to the International Student Center to board the Hokudai bus that was waiting for us students to arrive. We got on, and Becca was finally able to meet Koike-sensei. More and more students trickled in, maybe 14 in all, and I recognized many faces from my courses. As we headed out of Sapporo, Koike-sensei described many of the sites around us and the itinerary for the day. Koike-sensei really loves to explain things at length, and I found it somewhat humorous that the bus had a microphone and so it truly was as though he were our tour guide. As we drove, I began to get to know some of the other students better and to have conversations about the fall colors. Some students are from places where there are not four distinct seasons. I had not realized it, but of course it would be new and strange to experience the fall and the changes in plant-life. Not far out of Sapporo, we stopped for a quick bathroom break. Becca and I had fun playing music on acorns and blades of grass. Some may know of my secret grass-playing ability--many may even know the trick themselves. If you take a blade of grass--some blades are better than others, and I'm always happy to find a good one--and hold it between your thumbs, then blow into it, you can make a whistling sound. Over the years, I've tried to perfect it and now I can make a whole host of strange bird noises. Actually, I sometimes enjoy playing these noises, and seeing what kind of bird people think they hear. I can usually trick a few folks at least. Anyways, I also managed to perplex some of the students on the field trip. If we had more time at the rest stop, I would have liked to show people how to do it! Becca can perform a similar feat with acorn tops. I'd never seen that one before! Our next stop was lake Shikotsu. If you remember, Lake Shikotsu is also where I stayed with the German researchers, Koike-sensei, and some of my lab members at a Ryoukan (inn) and Onsen. In fact, I could recognize the red bridge by the shore that I had seen the morning at the inn. Everyone was very excited catching their first glimpses of the lake from the winding road.  (As an interesting side note, I learned the next day from Kotaro-san that Lake Shikotsu is also famous for ghosts.)The bus pulled into the parking lot and many of the students hurried to go see the shore. I was really happy to see their enthusiasm. The lake is surrounded by some still active volcanic domes. Not to big, of course, but as Koike-sensei pointed out, still potentially dangerous. Apparently, the lake itself is actually where part of a volcano once sat many years ago. There were shafts of sunlight breaking through the grey clouds. These are sometimes called "god's rays" or as I later looked up to refresh my physics memory, 'crepuscular rays.' There were also some people scuba-diving from the shore, and kayaking. After that, we drove a little ways to a plantation site. We pulled into a little dirt roadside and we all got out to go down the dirt path a little ways. Koike-sensei described some of the tree species to us, as well as some of their uses, and reminded us again about the 2004 typhoon that apparently did significant damage to the tree plantations in Hokkaido. (I've since heard that it also wiped out 30% of the trees on Hokkaido University's campus.) Next stop was Tomakomai, which I had in fact already visited with Koike-sensei and the Germans a couple weeks prior. Still, I was excited to come back. The weather way sunny, and I loved the feel of the warmth on my legs and skin. Before going to see some of the experiments, it was time for lunch. We took our lunches from the bus and many of us went to sit at benches and picnic tables next to the small pond. There are some salmon and ducks that live in the pond as well. Because the pond is fed by springs, Koike-sensei explained that the temperature is constant. The Tomakomai researchers have used it to conduct 1 degree (etc) warming experiments before. Becca and I sat on a bench by the pond and ate our lunch (I had inarizushi! Yum! Although not as delicious as usual, since it was from a conbini). Becca and Koike-sensei had a change to speak together at greater length. I had been excited for this, secretly, because Becca is so good at Japanese I thought that Koike-sensei would be impressed and enjoyed the opportunity. I think that I was right! They talked for quite a bit. And just as I had predicted, Koike-sensei remembered that he had brought chocolates to share and handed them out to us all. After lunch we had a little time to stroll along the pond as a group. We found the body of a beheaded salmon not far away, and I remembered that bears often eat only the heads of salmon. They find the brains delicious, it seems, but will often leave the rest of the body. Koike-sensei had only just reminded us all as the bus had entered Tomakomai experimental forest that there are bears present. I think perhaps a few students were a little nervous about it! But maybe also excited to see a bear! I really enjoyed getting to know everyone better. We returned to the Forest Museum again, and I must say once more that trees amaze me. Their abilities are simply fascinating. More than that, the diversity and beauty of life on this planet also astounds me. Next we were off to the crane experiment I spoke of with such fervor. I feel so lucky to have gotten to see it twice already. I had mentioned it to Becca, and so I was really hoping that we would get to go up into the canopy again. Sure enough, the helmets and harnesses were brought out, and up we went in groups of four! Ah, it was such a privilege. Koike-sensei explained to those on the ground about the experiment, and shared more of his seemingly boundless knowledge of plants in the area. On the way back we stopped very quickly (only for about 10 minutes) at Lake Utonai which is a bird sanctuary. There were ducks and swans sitting on the beach, generally looking cold from the wind that had grown throughout the day and the grey clouds that had moved in. On the way out, I bought a huge squash for only 200 yen. I get so excited over inexpensive vegetables. They are rare in Sapporo, but common in more rural Hokkaido. I had big plans for this squash, as you will learn. The trip was so much fun, and I am so glad that I was able to meet and learn more about many of my fellow classmates. I am so honored by the new friendships formed on this trip, and the many deep and amazing conversations.

    Although we had just returned from one adventure when we pulled back into Hokkaido University, we were actually only just about to embark upon another. That evening after running a few quick errands, eating some snacks, and showering, Kotaro picked us up from the International House. We went over to his apartment, from which point we would begin our nighttime journey to Asahikawa. It was about 10:30PM when we arrived at his apartment. The plan was to cook some late night banana gluten-free pancakes with peanut butter (and real maple syrup which we had purchased that evening) and then drive through the night to reach Asahikawa. Kotaro told us we would have some time before we needed to leave, and also Zenta needed to finish up some reading so he could join us (we forced him to come along and I am glad he did!), so we should take a nap. I wasn't too excited about the idea of a nap, because I felt it would only make me more tired rather than energize me, but Kotaro was very kind to give up their beds for me and Becca to get a couple hours of sleep. We went to bed at about 11PM and were going to wake up at about 1:30AM. I don't know if I really slept all that much, but resting is good, I suppose! At some point I must have fallen asleep, though, because Becca somehow turned into Kotaro when I woke up. She had gotten up to start the pancakes. The four of us ate banana pancake peanut butter sandwiches with the delicious syrup for our 2:30AM breakfast, then packed into the little car. I had brought my just-purchased-that-night big soft blanket. Zenta and I sat in back and it was a little chilly out, so we were happy to have it over our legs. The city was pretty empty and dark so early in the morning, and the streets were open. A little ways out of the city, Kotaro-san flicked off the headlights for a moment as a joke, and it become startlingly pitch. Resting my head back and peering through the rear window, I glanced stars and Orion. We listened to music, watched the night landscape, and drove, drove, drove. At about 4:30AM, we pulled over. We were at a little oceanside rest stop! We all got out to use the bathroom and then headed onto the sand and into the pitch black in the direction of the beach. The air was a bit chilly. There were sticks, anchors, and plastic containers strewn about. Luckily, I had my phone with me so we had a small globe of white light around us as we walked towards the ocean. Becca took off her shoes and ran around on the shore, getting her feet wet. She claimed the water was not cold at all, and Kotaro-san believing her stepped in as well. He disagreed! We made our way back to the tiny car and headed on again. As we went, the first blue hints of the coming sun started to appear in the sky. On either side of the road it was forested, with pale birch trees and dimmed fall leaves, gliding into high-climbing hill tops, and little farms. As we curved around the winding road in the hesitant light with the beautiful forest and empty road around us. Pink and faint purple ghosted across the sky in the perfect semblance of a watercolor palette. I realized at that moment that many of the beautiful sunrise and sunset skylines in Japanese art are not exaggerations, but in fact very accurate. I also remembered a comment by one of my Chinese labmates, who claimed that Japanese sunrises and sunsets looked different from her home. Whereas Minnesota generally shifts from inky black to glowing blue, and then the sun begins to climb, in Japan it seems things at least in the countryside are all delicate pastels. Or maybe I was just lucky! Becca and I really wanted to find a place to stop. The sunrise colors were hovering perfectly behind a small mountain mound. We found a straight stretch of road and jumped out. The clouds were rolling quickly along behind the crown of the hilly skyline. Towards the west the colors shifted to hot pink. The roads were empty and silent. It was wonderful. We had a ways to go, and we climbed into the car again. Now the sun was breaking over the horizon and the mountains ahead of us, a tiny brilliant yellow and white sphere. I watched it as we went, until the day was at last upon us. Kotaro had switched with Becca to drive for a while, because he had driven all night. Eventually, we stopped at a conbini in a small town. Kotaro grabbed a bite to eat, and while we waited I showed Becca the upsetting trailer to the upcoming Lone Ranger and Tonto film. I never imagined such a thing would happen, to reinvigorate that awful old story. We were both upset about it. Everyone began to seem very sleepy except for me, for whatever reason. I felt pretty well awake. Kotaro admitted that his eyes kept closing as he drove, so I offered to switch. I had brought my International Driver's License with me, after all. Since we were in such a rural area, I decided that although I was very apprehensive, I ought to take my chance to drive now. It felt very odd to sit down behind the wheel. When I shifted into drive, I didn't realize the emergency break was on either, so that was embarrassing! I also kept confusing the blinker with (which is on the LEFT?) and the windshield wiper (which is on the RIGHT?). I was also very nervous that I would end up on the wrong side of the road. But I had tried to observe everything and acclimate to the roads as Kotaro drove, and since I was so nervous I think I was extra cautious. I just told myself, keep the driver's side towards the line. Fortunately, Zenta stayed awake in the passenger seat to help with the directions. I had no idea which way to drive or what turns to take, so thank goodness for that. Since the speedometer is in km/hr and not m/hr, I tried to take my cues from the drivers around me. But in general the speed limit signs were between 50km/hr and 80km/hr on larger roads, which is actually fairly slow compared to the United States. We passed through Asahikawa, which is a bit of a city, and I was sure apprehensive on these streets. The stoplights I feel are very small and hard to spot, but also numerous, so I was afraid I would miss one. Fortunately, I was vigilant. We exited the city again (although we had to make a few turn arounds not knowing the exact route because the snoozing Kotaro-san was actually our navigator), passed through more lovely farmland, down smaller roads, and then Zenta-san told me we were there, and I should pull over in front of a gate. The gate was closed for the moment, but beyond it was a cluster of sprawling forest center buildings, a large hilltop for skiing behind it, and a little golf/croquet course. It was still early in the morning, so we had to wait until about 8:30 when the center would open. When it did, we parked and headed towards a building with Kotaro-san leading the way. We still had absolutely no idea what we were going to do at this place. Kotaro had only told us that we would be headed towards Asahikawa, so both Becca and are were a little bewildered. We entered what seemed to be a main building, with a little gift shop attached. It looked like a place where little classes or demonstrations might be held. A few more people and folks that I assumed to be staff milled about. Then everyone there, maybe about 15 people, formed a circle and the staff leader started to talk. I still had absolutely no clue what was going on or why we were there. The leader spoke in Japanese, of course, and although I could understand strings of what she said, for the most part I listened in confusion. Everyone went around one by one to introduce themselves. Following Kotaro's example, Becca and I said that we were Hokudai students and named our research departments. It felt very odd to introduce myself for something I knew absolutely nothing about--for all I knew, we could be going on a hike, helping with forestry, mountain climbing, building a house. Who knew! My best guess, though, was that it had something to do with wood. Kotaro wants to become a woodworker, and so I tried to piece things together. Because of this interest, we were put into a group with some of the "artists" who had introduced themselves as wood workers from what I had understood in Japanese. We were brought across the sidewalk to a large, wide-windowed building with a view of the fields outside. It was chilly, and they started the stove in the building, and started rearranging tables and bringing in some craft supplies. I would have liked to have been more helpful, except I still had no idea what was happening. Eventually a vague image of our purpose there began to form. It seemed that the forest center was hosting some sort of activity day for local children and families, in order to learn about forest products and forests in general. There were three artists in the "wood" group--one was a very tall, slender, artsy hipster kind of fellow in a cap who said he would help to make wooden toy cars. The next was a broad-shouldered middle aged man who would help to make wooden dolls. The last was a slim older fellow with big rimmed glasses and a shock of grey, tousled hair. He would teach how to make wooden animals out of wooden blocks. For those of you who know my uncle Gaylord, I swear to you this man was his Japanese doppelganger. We were supposed to learn the steps to these crafts first in order to help the kids who were to arrive. I was overwhelmed by this prospect a bit--I had no idea how to build these things! Fortunately, as it turns out, the crafts were very simple. First the broad-shouldered man showed us how to make "dolls" out of sticks. You shave off the bark at the tip, carve it into a point, then drill some holes to thread string through for arms and legs. It was beyond me why you would want to teach a kid to sharpen a stick into a point for the head of the doll. I told Becca that I feel as though most kids do this on their own, and it's generally considered a BAD IDEA. The tall, slender fellow next showed us his crafts--one was a box of sticks that you could puzzle together in a criss-cross pattern, which would fall apart when you removed the correct stick. It was meant for kids, but it was too tricky for me. The other involved a box full of various wooden blocks and pieces which you could assemble into a car. He could tell that I was very overwhelmed, I think, partly because I was so quiet. He handed me a sign and told me to hold it, but not to look at it. I wasn't sure what was going on. Then he told me to take a picture with him, while holding the sign. I was dubious. He showed me the picture--the sign read "Free Hugs." That made me laugh, and definitely cheered me up. My first impression of this slender man, when everyone had introduced themselves in a circle, was that he was a bit standoffish. It turned out that he was actually incredibly kind, quirky, and really sweet with kids. Actually, all three of the artists had very unique personalities, but were so kind. I was still a little hollow myself while there, mostly because I wasn't really sure how I could help. I hate situations when there isn't something useful I can contribute. I tried to preoccupy myself with making the crafts. I aimlessly carved a wooden block, while I felt very much scrutinized by three Japanese ladies who somewhat rudely talked amongst themselves as to whether or not they thought I spoke Japanese. I absolutely HATE being watched closely while working on something, by the way. For whatever reason, I really shut down, and don't do much of anything in such instances. I carved even more aimlessly, because when watched I'm not generally able to plan things artistically as I normally might. When I kept looking up at the ladies when their conversation touched upon me, they realized that I could speak. I told them I understood some Japanese, but oddly enough they just continued talking about me off and on. They stuck around in the class room for quite a while. My wooden block ended up looking like a horses head, somehow, so I stuck it onto a base, gave it some wheels, and that was that. The hours passed fairly slow. Eventually, I tried my hand at making a wooden animal. I drew the design onto a wooden block. You were then supposed to cut carefully along the lines with a jigsaw. This seemed like the most fun of all the three crafts, because you ended up with a toy animal! Unfortunately, I had to end up deferring to the run ladies before I could carve mine, since they were technically the guests. I would normally have been just fine with that, except I was still a little annoyed with those ladies. We ended up going to lunch anyways. Apparently, the ramen from the area we were in is renowned for being delicious. So we went to get ramen. The restaurant was tiny, and packed. Even worse, some even more rude ladies actually budged us! Eventually, we got to sit down. Everyone ordered so quick, I hadn't really even gotten a chance to look at the menu. One thing that tends to bother me is that, being a vegetarian, people often tend to make decisions for me even if I don't necessarily want them to. This happened again, which made me a little down, but no one had meant to do it so I understood. On the tiny television on the wall there was a girl's ekiden (distance relay) being shown. I want so badly to run one. The ramen was pretty good, though nothing to get too excited about. There were of course "meat bits" floating in it, which is always obnoxious. I gave them to Kotaro. Still, since it was chilly out, I was happy for a good meal. We returned to the workshop, where I finished my wooden animal (a bear) very very very slowly and unskillfully. Actually, I feel that mostly the spectacled-man directed the block, and I tried not to cut the block to pieces. He was very patient as I continuously went off of the guidelines I had drawn. We both silently concurred that I had no natural talent with jigsaws. I think if left on my own, I would have done better. As I mentioned before, I really freeze up under close scrutiny. Still, I was happy with my wooden bear. By about 3:30PM we started wrapping things up. Yet again, I had no clue as to how to help, which is such an awful feeling of uselessness. I dislike to appear as though I do not want to help. But there was not much for me to do except shuffle my feet. Finally, after wasting time, and helping Kotaro finish icecream, we all circled up as at the beginning, thanked everyone, and at last we were free. To be sure, it was fun to help out, but it certainly began to get long (we were there from 8:30AM to 4:00PM). Becca and Zenta had already konked out in the car while Kotaro and I attended the thank you's and closing remarks. Kotaro asked if we should stop at an onsen on the way back, and I was excited to do so since it was chilly. He really wanted to find one too. There was one right on the top of the ski hill, and he drove the car up to the top. But Becca and Zenta were too tired and so we ended up just heading back towards Sapporo. The drive back felt very long, and of course it gets dark so early. It started raining some on the homeward journey, and also a piece of the front bumper started falling off of our car, so it was a bit of a dreary ride back. Still, I have to express my true gratitude to Kotaro again, for being so willing to take along and for being such a friendly, welcoming person.

On the Monday before last, in the morning I did some grocery shopping with Becca. While packing my groceries into my backpack (I refuse to use the plastic bags that are so abundant here in Japan) and looking down, I could see someone out of the corner of my eye set their basket down on the table. A man's voice said "konnichiha!" I thought, how odd, who could it be? It was Satoh-san, one of our building supervisors! He is by far the friendliest and quirkiest of the three building supervisors, who rotate daily. Whenever I see him, as I come and go from the main entrance, he always says hello and talks with me. Especially, he is impressed when I go out for a run, concurring with me that "yes!Your health is the most important thing!" I'm often doing odd things when I run into him, like being that weirdo who does wall-sits on the outside of the dormitory building. I love talking with him! In fact, you may remember, when I returned from the apple orchard, I brought an apple just for him since we had spoken about my plan to go to an orchard. It made me so happy that he came up and said hello! Becca came over too, and we talked for a little while before heading back to the dorm. I tried to squeeze in a run just before my 4:45 lecture plans. When I got back, I ran into Satoh-san again. He always asks "how long did you run this time?". I told him since I had class soon, not very far, and he informed me that I was truly "erai" ("excellent/well-minded") to go running before class. As I walked through the main entrance, I peeked into my mailbox. To my great pleasure, I found two letters! They made me so happy to read. I changed quick, packed my giant squash into my backpack, and headed off towards the agricultural building. At 4:45PM, I was to attend Mao-san's second PhD defense examination. Koike-sensei had invited myself, Diao, and Nana to attend. The other attendees were a handful of very stern looking Japanese professors. It was such a tense environment, and after Mao-san presented her project and explained everything (very well, I thought!) they started asking her extremely specific chemistry questions to test her knowledge. We all felt that their questions were a little harsh and unfair. Mao-san did her best to stay calm. It was also a little unfair because, while everyone was using English, some terminology and questions that the professors used they could not properly express in English, and still wanted Mao-san to answer. I felt frustrated for her. But in the end, I still think she did well. After the examination, Diao-san and I had plans to cook together. We stopped briefly at a grocery store so I could pick up cinnamon, which I had forgotten in my room. I planned to make squash with marshmallows on top. Diao-san planned to make vegetable curry and pudding. The Chinese residents using the kitchen at that time, I think, were a little amused when I boiled the squash and then mashed it up like potatoes. I felt that they were watching my cooking with bemusement. I added cinnamon, brown sugar, and butter, and tried to explain what these ingredients were. Everyone was also amused by the marshmallows. Normally, I would lay them out on the top of the squash and put it in the oven so that they become toasted brown. However, there was no normal oven, so I just melted the marshmallows and put them on top. The dinner turned out so well. Diao-san's curry was absolutely delicious. She used chinese peppers from home in it, and she said they turned out much spicier than she had anticipated, but I'm not like most Minnesotans! I like spice! Afterwards, we even ran into Magali and one of the French exchange students who had just received chocolates in the mail. So for dessert we had some yummy french chocolates too! So good. I was in such a great mood as I got on my bike to head back to the dorm afterwards, that I actually missed my turn and got really lost on my simple (straight line!!!!) ride. I was lost for about 20 minutes, even though I was only really a few blocks off. It was dark, and I couldn't get my bearings. I was so frustrated--it had been such a great evening, and I just wanted to get back. It was as if I had been transported to a completely different place. But at last, I made it back. I had enough squash left to eat for many days thereafter.

Tuesday was rather quiet. I went to Kanji class, had a quiz, mailed some important letters, paid my water bill. That evening I worked on another painting. I shared some squash with Becca, too. We agreed to try to meet to go find the gym after class the next day. I brought my gym gear with me to my grammar class on Wednesday morning. Unfortunately, Becca ended up going early while I was still in class because she wanted to make sure she would be ready for her 1PM class and that she could finish a lot of homework. But she still met me to show me the way to the gym. It was definitely not where I thought it was. There is a building labeled 'gym' on the main street, but this building was actually tucked far away, next to the track. In the building, there is no women's locker room!!! There is a men's locker room, but the women have to change in the women's shower room/bathroom. The men have BOTH a shower room AND a locker room. I was furious when I learned this. I feel that as far as athletics go, Japan is stuck in the 1970s--maybe even before that. Although there are some girls who participate in sports and athletics, it is far less common here. Whereas in the United States, for most sports such as soccer or track there are just about even numbers of men's and women's teams (even if sports coverage in the U.S. is still utterly sexist). From what I've gathered, girls don't participate on sports teams when they are kids as often as in the U.S. When we went into the gym, at that time, we were the only girls. I did my best to do some good pull ups and lift heavy weights to make a point. Still, I feel that if I don't have a clear workout assignment, when amongst weights and gym equipment I just jump around, doing a bit of everything, but mostly just enjoying doing a pull up here, lifting a weight there, and testing things out. It was bright and sunny, and still only about noon when I left. I ended up falling asleep for a nap when I got back. Then, because Magali had given me the track team's webpage earlier, I finally worked up the courage to write them an email.

On Thursday morning, I had Kanji class. The professor switches topics very quickly and unpredictably, and I am finding this rather disorienting. But I am so glad to have Magali as a classmate. And I do feel that I am learning some, which is good. The Kanji class, if you might remember, is the one whose level I was fortunately able to choose myself. After class, I went to search for watercolor paper (and some gifts), since I have run out. I seemed to remember that at one of the stores in Sapporo Station I had seen large sheets of Arches watercolor paper. At the time, I thought the sheets were much too large. But I decided that since I could not find very large booklets of paper, this might be my best (only) option. It was actually rather exasperating trying to explain to the workers in the art section of the store. They didn't seem too enthusiastic about helping me, even if they pretended to be friendly. I kept trying to explain that the booklets they have are not quite big enough for what I need, and do you have any larger sheets? Eventually, the lady took out a binder of papers. Luckily, there were some Arches samples. Unfortunately, as I thoroughly felt each sample, none of them are very thick. This fact is still disappointing to me, because Japan has one of the longest and most prestigious paper-making histories. I guess I will have to find a specialty shop. As it turns out, they actually DID have a few large watercolor booklets, but the textures all felt a little fake and thin to me. Still, I settled for one. Hopefully it will work out alright. When I got back, I fell asleep for a nap again! By the afternoon, it was raining (it ALWAYS rains here). I told Becca that I was feeling that I should eat some fish. I can generally detect when my body needs a good dose of fish. My muscles start to get a little weak, I become a bit less coordinated, and I can't think as clear. I only get this feeling after a long span without eating fish, and I realized it had been quite a few months since I had eaten any. Because Japan is famous for seafood, and because there are pictures of salmon all over the place here in Sapporo, I mistakenly assumed that it should be a simple task to locate plain cooked fish. Not so. Apparently everything is either raw or fried whole (bones, eyes, skin, and all). I don't especially like either of these forms. All I wanted was a plain piece of cooked fish! Becca and I searched Sapporo Station for a while, but it did not seem promising. I think that I may still be able to find something (maybe 'saba misoni') but I felt I was wasting too much time and I didn't want to keep Becca so I conceded to just buy a piece of cooked salmon from the department store grocery store and eat it at home. I hadn't wanted to buy a piece of fish to bring back to the dorm, because my room is so small and cooking fish is so stinky. So I was pretty disappointed. But oh well! Eating the fish helped, I could tell in the following days.

On Friday, I attended my grammar class, then my lecture in the evening. Perhaps the most exciting news is that the track coach emailed me back! I had asked if there was any possibility that international students could also participate in practices. Although he warned that I must be seriously dedicated to join, I was very happy to hear that it seemed it would be okay for me to attend! I was admittedly intimidated by his response and the dauntingly large time commitment that I felt was expected. I know how many hours are spent dedicating oneself to a sport, and I was unsure if I would be able to replicate this now that I am supposed to be so focused on my main goal--research. I shared my misgivings with Magali (and Becca the night before). She encouraged me just to go try. Becca had reminded me the night before that I constantly talk about track, and it would be ridiculous for me not to try. It is true, I love track so much. But I also had a secret worry--my track experience at St. Olaf was so dear to me. The past summer was such a difficult transition for me, losing something so important to me, and I worked hard to set my mind towards moving on. After arriving in Japan, I have been making progress to accept that my dear track days at St. Olaf are beyond me. Though I should always keep trying to run, I know that things are never going to be the same. So the notion of reinvigorating something that is so dear to me was not only daunting, but also something I was not entirely sure was a wise idea. Maybe it would be a step backwards, into something that I will never truly be able to recreate. I thought to myself, perhaps I am grasping too hard at a memory from which I should really move on. However, I think that the fact that I start to GRIN just reading or thinking of a track workout answered my question about whether or not I should go. I love track. I will have to remember to keep a level head, to realize that this is a different team and a different experience, but nonetheless a chance that I know many of my teammates would consider me a fool to pass up. Because I have lectures on Wednesdays and Fridays, I asked the coach if I could go to my first practice on Saturday morning, and he said that would be fine. After my lecture,  it was stormy, rainy weather. Magali and I were planning to meet after our evening classes (at 6:30PM) to go to the gym together. The weather was so windy and frightful, but I biked back hurriedly from class to change into running clothes. I packed a little bag with a spare pair of shoes (you have to change when you enter the gym) and decided to run into the night towards the gym. I didn't want to bring my bike, because I hate getting it all wet and I wanted to run a bit. Boy was it tough, forging onwards in the dark through the strong wind, the cars splashing past at high speed, and the cold thin rain. It was also uncomfortably running carrying my bag. I looked absolutely insane.  As I neared the gym, I could vaguely see Magali in the distance. I was happy to see her. She is actually very ambitious as far as workouts go, and so I had a great time. Regrettably, I have lost almost all of my muscles, and so doing abs was a stark reminder that if you don't use it , you lose it. I felt so weak, knowing what I used to be capable of. But I intend to regain my muscle. I passionately discussed track and field races with Magali, who also runs. I may have overdone it a bit with the lifting that we did, especially considering that the track coach wrote that the prescribed email for Saturday would be 2x6x200m. (Meaning basically, run 200 meters 12 times fast). I told Magali I was especially nervous because I haven't run a track workout since May. My legs are not in shape in the least. Certainly not in sprinting shape. But as with most things in my life, I feel like it comes down to me just jumping in. The run back was equally frightful. I popped into the grocery store to grab some dinner supplies, and felt awkward wearing my running tights and soaking running clothes from the rain. But since I am a foreigner, at least I am living up to the expectation that I will be weird.

Saturday morning's practice was at 9:15AM. I was very nervous all night, and I had trouble sleeping. I didn't want to oversleep and miss the practice! All week I had been waking up around 6:30AM, so I knew I was tired.  Even so, I woke up early to eat a little cereal, then I put on my running clothes. I could feel the nervousness and anticipation in my limbs. It was a very tough moment, and I kept telling myself, "just go, just go, just go." I had to remind myself that there would be no harm in scoping things out. The misgivings I described above kept floating in and out of my head. I walked out the door, locked it, and headed to my bike. Once the track was in sight, I would not let myself turn back even though I was scared. I parked my bike, and walked through the gate onto the grass by the dirt track. There were some members in warm up suits, and after standing for a moment looking out of place, I asked someone if this was the track team (knowing that it was) and to my relief, the runners who trickled in were all friendly. A girl arrived, and this made me much more relieved. She was very friendly and spoke some English, though I did my best to speak Japanese. Because of the hard rains the night before, the dirt track was covered with large puddles. Runners were trying to scoop the water away with shovels, mop it up with rags, and push it away with rakes. It seemed a rather futile process, but I grabbed a shovel and tried to help. The Hokkaido University track, as mentioned, is not the normal surface but good old dirt. It's real beat up looking, and doesn't have any lanes drawn. But oh well! I warmed up with the girl I had met, who turned out to be a distance runner. She pointed out the only female middle-distance runner (and 800 runner). I introduced myself to her. Then I was pretty much left on my own to to drills and strides. Although everyone met to start practice at 9:15AM (standing in a circle, making announcements, and bowing), there was a lot of time allocated for warming up. The workout itself would not begin until 10:30AM. I've always been someone who can warm up pretty quick if need be (though if I anticipate it, longer warm ups are good). So I shuffled around a lot, repeating most of the same things. It felt very odd to be doing drills. I even, I am embarrassed to say, had trouble remembering my old routine. I also was nervous about getting in people's way. I wanted to make sure I appeared to know what I was doing, at least a little. I was very nervous (though deep down, excited for the challenge) about the workout. I knew I was in no great track condition. Usually I also do cross country in the fall, and so by the time fall track rolls around I've got a bit of endurance under my belt, even if the track muscles are lacking. I've just been jogging around over the summer. I tried to explain this to the runners, but the Japanese season does not line up with the American track season, so I don't think they quite understood my apprehension. I told the middle-distance runner I would do my best! She said I should try the first set, then see how I felt. No one told me what pace the 200s would be, so when we started, I just took off with her. As it turns out, she had lifted the day before, so her legs weren't feeling especially quick. This probably saved me. I was able to stick with her, though I could tell my speed endurance was pitiful. There was 15 whole minutes of rest in between the sets, though! I've always forced myself to recover pretty quick, so this saved me too. I did the second set as well. Everyone was really nice. After the workout, some of the sprinter girls (there is only a handful of girls on the whole team, maybe 6 compared to a heck of a lot of guys) introduced themselves excitedly. They are all so friendly. Hanako-san, the middle distance runner, explained to me that for Sunday's practice we would not be meeting at the Hokkaido University track, but in fact about a 35 minute subway ride away at a track with a real surface. She told me to meet her at one of the subway stops along the way at 8AM. After practice, I biked back to the dorm, ate lunch, met Becca to do some grocery shopping, and then at 3PM we were scheduled to go to Mao-san's apartment to cook together. By this point it was raining, yet again. My plan was to cook apple pie, since her kitchen has a microwave oven. As it turns out, she lives in one of the buildings just across from me. Because the other apartment buildings are being renovated, currently she gets to live in a family size apartment all to herself, and for cheaper rent even than my 200 yen a month. Becca and I gaped at all the glorious space she has compared to our broom closets. We are considering just saying that we are married and moving in, ha! Becca and I got to work on the pie, while Mao-san and Diao-san, who also came over, started cooking so many different vegetable dishes. Mao-san's refrigerator is chock full of all sorts of fresh vegetables. I had written out a recipe for the pie filling and crust, but as it happens, Mao-san did not have a measuring cup so I ended up mostly guessing, after some failed attempts to measure things in plastic containers (all in metric measurements). I get a little sheepish cooking in groups, and I think I probably cook much more intelligently and efficiently on my own, but I think I did alright. Becca cut up the apples I brought, and after I finished the dough for the crust she flattened it into the pie pan while I started cooking the ingredients to go in the filling (mostly sugar). I was so excited, because it looked great. We put it into the microwave oven, and all the correct lights went on, and it began to bake! Meanwhile, Mao-san and Diao-san were finishing up the vegetable dishes (I think that they cooked all vegetables specifically because Becca and I don't eat meat! That was so kind of them!). Nana-san and her roommate, Wao-san, arrived in the meantime and we all sat down to eat. Mao-san is such a great cook. I admired how easily she shifted from cooking one dish to another. The food laid out on the table looked spectacular. There was an egg-tomato dish, stir fried carrots/onions/peppers/potatoes, battered tofu, fried squash "balls", soup, and rice. I am so grateful to all the many people who have shared meals with me so far---it has been a true treat to try meals from China, Japan, and my silly psuedo-American dishes as well. Diao-san has been closely observing my American recipes, and I'm really proud to say that she has picked them up! I found out that a few days later she attempted an apple pie, and from the picture it looked amazing. I told her, won't her family be surprised when she returns to China and can cook them the most famous American food of all, apple pie. Anyways, the meal was just as delicious as it looked. And just as we finished eating, the oven rang--the pie was done. I was so excited. We put it on the table (I must say, it looked quite beautiful), cut it up into 6 big pieces, and were about to begin when I remarked that I ought to have picked up vanilla ice cream since that is often how it is eaten. Mao-san said that she actually had ice cream in the freezer, and she shared this with us. So we had a true American apple pie for dessert. Nana-san asked us a little more about the Fulbright Program, and if we received stipends. When we told her we did, and that it is funded by the U.S./Japanese governments she pointed out that she was therefore eating apple pie courtesy of the U.S. government. We all talked for quite some time, about the upcoming election, my extreme dislike for the platform of the republican party, health care in the U.S., China, and Japan, and many other things. It is such a wonderful feeling to learn and share about other countries in such a friendly, kind environment. Before we knew it, it was already past 8PM. Since I had another early morning practice the next day, I needed to head back to my room. We all departed, with promises to cook together again. I told everyone to think of their favorite fruit and that I would bake a pie for them.

On Sunday morning, bright and extremely early I awoke to prepare to go to my second day of track practice at the mysterious and far away sports center.  At 6AM, I made myself a bowl of cereal to make sure I wasn't running on an empty stomach. I curled up under my blankets while I ate, and made a checklist in my head for what to bring. The weather, as it has been for almost a week, was raining rather hard again outside my window. I put on some long running tights, a St. Olaf track t-shirt and some long-sleeve shirts, then my bright green raincoat (plus my baseball cap). In my backpack I threw a few extra clothes, just in case. I placed my precious sheet of notebook paper, with Hanako's phone number and drawing of the subway platform, carefully inside my bag. Then at 7AM on the dot, I headed out the door, not really confident in my ability to navigate the subway system, and not entirely sure I had correctly understood the directions. The sidewalks were almost empty on an early, rainy, Sunday morning, although there were a few early-risers here and there. I looked odd, I am sure, walking around in my raincoat, black tights, and running shoes. All of the runners on the team have nifty warm up suits that they wear to practice, with their tights underneath. They only wear the tights when actually at the workout. So I stick out quite a bit. I have no doubt that I looked strange wearing them walking about the streets and in the station. Japanese fashion quirks aside, such close-fitting clothes are rather uncommon--the trend of walking around in "leggings", which was so regrettably popular in the U.S., has yet to catch on here. I entered the station, wandered around a bit to get down to the subway, then made an educated guess as to the line I should take to reach the platform at the Oodori station where Hanako -san said she would meet me. Fortunately, I was correct. I made it there with about 20 minutes to spare, so I waited around, and wandered to the platform. At just about 8AM, Hanako'san hopped off the subway, then came over to meet me. I was so relieved. I hadn't wanted to cause any worry or trouble if we couldn't find each other. We got back on the subway, and it took about 7 stops to reach our goal, Oyachi. We got off and exited the station into the heavy wind and rain. It was quite a long walk from the station to the track, which turned out to be a Sports Center--the Atsubetsu Sports Center to be precise. It is a very large stadium, with a lovely track in the middle. I could feel the anticipation in my heart growing as we came nearer and nearer. You have to pay about 300yen to use the track, so we paid our entrance fee, then went over to a little area with a few cramped indoor lanes, and glass sliding doors looking out upon the track. There were many other teams there warming up, as well as some very young kids, perhaps around ten years old, all looking especially cute and practicing. Rinko-san, a sprinter, was joining us for the workout. The three of us warmed up together in the chilly weather. I explained that in Minnesota, it is probably already much colder. I hadn't entirely understood the description the day before, but I knew it had something to do with 600m. As it turns out, we were doing 3 sets of 600m+walk 200m, sprint 200m. It seems to be that there is never a "goal time" for these intervals, just go fast. I still feel as though there is so much time between the start of practice, warm up, and the start of the workout, so although I tried to pass the time doing drills and staying warm it was tough to keep thinking of things to do. Finally, it was time to start. The girls start at the same time as the guys, so we all walked over to the 200m start, lined up, and took off! I still had no idea whatsoever as to the time I should be aiming for, so I just tucked in behind Hanako and did my best to get my slow legs moving again. 600m felt tough, but not too tough--though I was definitely aware that my legs were sluggish and the times were slow (to my great shame, about a 2 minute 600). Then we walked back to the 200m start and took off sprinting. In between the sets there was a remarkable 15 minute rest. This is so strange to me, because 15 minutes is an immensely long recovery time--usually at the practices I am used to, the rest will not be more than 5 minutes. 15 minutes I would say is more than a full recovery! So this, yet again, saved me. My legs are not in good enough shape otherwise. But I am determined to become fast. I managed, over my four years at Olaf, to work up some speed by the end of my career and I just hope I didn't misplace it permanently. The rain poured on and off as the dark clouds rolled by. During one rest, a rainbow actually appeared, only to be followed by more rain, and some sun showers to boot. I felt bad for the distance group, running 3k repeats in the rain. The wind on the backstretch was very strong, as well. In the end, I was able to keep up, and so I was satisfied. Workouts at Olaf generally included three parts, the running, the core, and the lifting. So far, practices here are mostly running. We don't all do core together. So I'll have to be mindful of this on my own. We cooled down, and headed back. By this time it was about 11:30AM. Hanako-san and Rinko-san took the subway back with me. I am so happy to have met them both--they are both incredibly kind and fun people. In fact, they asked me what kinds of foods I like to eat in order to organize a welcome party for me. We got to my stop, and I waved goodbye to them. It was not about 12:30. Magali and I had earlier made plans to try to bike to the ocean that day. Because track practice was so far away, I had told her we would have to wait until 1PM if I could make it back. Luckily, she had lots of homework to work on so it was okay. I felt bad nonetheless. I sent her a message to tell her I had returned, and asked if she was still up for a bike ride in such awful weather. She's really a trooper, because she said she sure was! So I stopped quick into a Mister Donut to buy her and I a treat, then speed-walked back to the International House in the rain to suit up. And by suit up, I really mean suit up. The stormy weather was the perfect occasion for me to test out my bright orange rain pants, which I had bought very cheap because they were XL and no one in Japan is XL (though curiously still too short for me). I just pulled the draw strings tight, and they were perfect. I wore these, with my bright green raincoat, my baseball cap, and my hiking boats. I looked ridiculous. But better ridiculous than soaking wet. Then I ran out the door to hop back on my bike. By this point, I actually hadn't eaten anything since my breakfast at 6AM. Biking into the strong wind, I could feel that my muscles were just plain out of gas. So although I was in a hurry, I didn't move too quick. I didn't make it by my 1PM goal, and was a little late which I felt so bad about. As I neared the International House 23 where Magali lives (quite a ways west from me) I spied her waiting under the bridge. She is such a cheerful person, I really enjoy speaking with her. I pulled up, apologized for being late, and gave her a pumpkin donut to eat in the rain before we took off. I told her about track practice enthusiastically, and she very patiently tolerated my enthusiasm. She plans to join in the spring, once her foot injury has some time to heal. I'm very excited for this. We took off into the rain, biking along the Shinkawa river. This is the same route to find the ocean that I took when I first arrived in Sapporo. The Shinkawa river/road starts off as a spindly run-off creek but grows wider the farther you go in the direction of the ocean. The rain and wind were so strong, and the cars zooming past in the streets were extremely loud. We moved down by the river path to bike, for some shelter from the cars, but the construction that begins about half-way on the route, and which I had run into before, was still there and still in the way. My legs were really tired from not having had a chance to stop moving, or to eat a meal, since early in the morning so that combined with the gusts of winds made it tough going. I felt so bad for Magali, because unlike me in my rain jumpsuit, she was only wearing a raincoat and jeans. She was soaked before we were even half way there. It became so windy and rainy that we could barely proceed forward. We stopped, not knowing whether to press on or turn back, and stood in the pouring rain on the side of the road indecisively. I knew from last time that we still had such a long way to go. Magali asked what I thought, and I admitted that we had best turn back. On a sunny day, such as the day I had biked there, it is about a 50 minute ride to the ocean going at a good clip. I knew that at the snail pace we were going into the harsh wind it would take us hours. Magali was also soaked, and I knew if we went too far and the weather did not improve she would be freezing on the way back. For both our sakes, we agreed that it was the right decision to stop fighting the weather and turn back. The wind was so strong at our backs that it literally pushed us homewards. I barely had to peddle to keep moving. We both looked forward to some warm tea (cocoa in my case) in our cozy rooms. When I got back, I had to laugh at how ridiculous I appeared covered in rain and mud. I parked my bike, went inside, and tried to warm up.  That evening for dinner, because I had many vegetables left over from going to Mao-san's house, I attempted to cook Soup Curry. I failed, I would say, because it didn't taste especially good. I was on the right track, but just when it was tasting great I added too much water. It's hard to save something once you've made it taste to thin. But it was a pretty good dinner nonetheless.
On Monday morning I was finally able to sleep in. I woke up at the glorious time of 9:30AM instead of 6 or 7AM. During the day, I ran some errands, and went to the lab and studied some of the papers Koike-sensei has given me. At 2:50PM, Mao-san was to meet me at the lab so we could go together to hear the PhD lecture of a student from the Phillipines name Maricle-san who had come to Hokudai the same time as she had. We walked over to the building, which I had never been to before. We got there just before they were about to start. Maricle-san's lecture was on a long term experiment of clear-cutting and the CO2 emissions and time it takes to make up for these emissions by replanting. Her lecture was amazing. I should mention, by the way, that Maricle-san is about 5 feet tall and speaks with a Phillipines accent, using very endearing English phrases like "let us get the ball rolling." I was so impressed by her knowledge and her work. Afterwards Mao-san and I waited a bit for her to finish being questioned by the PhD panel. Mao-san wanted to say hello. Although I did not know her, I was so happy when the professors emerged and informed that she had "passed sailing." (I was not sure what phrase the professor meant to use in English, except that it was good!). After Marcile-san's lecture, we headed back to the agricultural building for a lecture with Koike-sensei on water relations and photosynthesis in plants. I enjoyed this lecture especially, and it was all around a good evening for higher education. After the lecture, Becca and I met at the Indian restaurant that we love. I managed to bike there all by myself again to meet her, even with my sore leg and butt muscles from the track workout. The waiter was happy to see us, and even the cooks recognized us. We were both especially amused when, after the waiter spoke to us a bit about part time jobs, he asked us if we were looking for one. We are not allowed to work, given our Student Visa status and it is also a rule of the Fulbright Program. So we explained that unfortunately, we couldn't. He told us it was a shame, because the place next door was looking for workers, and could we work maybe just once a week. We asked him what exactly the job was. It turns out it would be serving snacks and sake to old men at a bar! Though I was flattered to be offered the job, we both said no way! I'm sure it would be some experience, and to be honest I was just a tiny bit tempted, but I knew it would not be especially enjoyable. The waiter sure is a quirky guy. To make up for offering us such a job, he brought us free lassi (which he sometimes surprises us with). I sure do love that place!

On Tuesday morning I had a Kanji quiz. On Monday night after returning from the Indian restaurant I had done quite bit of studying, so it went smoothly I felt. It was obnoxious, however, to have soaking wet pants and feet yet again from my rainy bike ride. My bike tires spray me with water and leaves from the street as I ride, so I always look a mess when I arrive in such weather. After class, I bought some delicious "melon-pan" from the cafeteria bakery (it is actually becoming quite an addiction of mine). Melon-pan, by the way, is a circular buttery bread, with sugar cookie dough baked on top. It is wonderful. Because I was so nervous about the presidential election, after class and after paying my water bill at a conbini I planned to bike to Hokkaido Shrine to ask the gods for a favor and to express my gratitude for just how lucky I am to have a chance to be here in Japan, and for the happiness I have shared recently. I was so so so nervous about the election. Although the skies were grey, the rain held off for once. This made it my first visit to a shrine without (large) raindrops. I feel very comfortable at the beautiful Maruyama park outside the shrine and on the lovely, peaceful paths at the shrine. I have felt recently that I must get out of the city, and at least being at the shrine helped me to stay calm. It was not busy, because it was a weekday. I tried to make sure to bow in all the right places. I washed my hands and mouth before entering, then walked up to the main shrine to throw in a handful of coins. I bowed, clapped, and wished as hard as I could for President Obama to be re-elected and to express say thank you for all the wonderful experiences I have been privileged to have. The shrine is a home for the Japanese gods, but I thought, heck, they could maybe help! As I left, I bowed and made wishes at a smaller shrine to say thank you again. After passing through the gate, I walked my bike over to a bench under some trees, around whose feet were strewn a brilliant array of fallen leaves. I took out the "melon-pan" I had bought, and ate it peacefully under these trees. It was a really lovely morning, and I continued to feel grateful and humble. Then I biked back to the International House along the main street, observing some of the many bakeries I hope to stop at someday. I tried to finish up some things inside, and then at 4:40PM I had track practice. Since I can't come on Wednesdays and Fridays, key workout days for middle distance, I join the sprinters on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Because of the hard rain outside, the sprinters were doing a circuit inside the small gym. This involved jumping ('bounding') around the gym, running with a rope tied around your waste, and various other challenges. Gina, my teammate from track at St. Olaf, would have loved it. I am absolutely dreadful at jumping, as any of my teammates can confirm, so I was especially unskillful that evening. However, I hopefully redeemed myself when we did two 40 second sprints on the treadmill. I could jump on and off the tread mill no problem kudos to my coach Chris Daymont's awesome 5AM treadmill+elevation workout that comes once a year. (Most people probably dislike that workout--I LOVE it. It's so much fun, and such a challenge). I was able to run pretty fast, so I was happy with that. Afterwards, I biked back at about 7:30PM, grabbed some dinner, then went to bed.
On Wednesday morning, it rained, rained, rained. My goodness did it rain. I went to class, arriving soggy and on edge because of the election. I was still very apprehensive and closely watching the election results throughout the day. In my morning class, both Magali and a student from England asked me for news on the election. At that point, there were still maybe 5 hours left, and things were so close and nerve-wracking. I explained to them that I just could not understand how anyone could vote for Mitt Romney. I am still astonished that nearly half of Americans would support him. I tried to express this disbelief and frustration to Magali and the student from England. They were perplexed as well. Frankly, the fact that Romney was even considered a viable candidate, and that ANYONE can accept the extremist, conservative positions the current Republican party espouses really disheartens me. Romney and the Republican majority have insulted me as a woman, as a member of the middle-class, as an environmentalist, as a historian, and all around as a human. They have insulted my friends, and they have insulted other countries. While I can understand being displeased with President Obama (trust me, as an environmentalist, I AM displeased with him) but I cannot understand supporting Romney. I expressed many times that I feared for what would happen if Romney won. He does not appear to understand that a citizens have responsibilities to each other, and must support one another. Obama, at least, understands this. And even if Obama's environmental record is lacking, I was terrified what Romney would do to the land if he won. His party doesn't even officially acknowledge global warming! Please do not misunderstand, I do not approve of speaking ill of someone, but in my heart I was deeply scared for what someone who holds such anti-equality positions would do. Anyways, throughout the rainy day, I wasn't almost always damp. I went to Sapporo station to search for some souvenirs to send home to friends, wrote many letters, and ate quite a few sweets. Then came the wonderful news that President Obama would be re-elected. Thank goodness. The only better news would have been if Green Party candidate Jill Stein had won, but I'll take what I can get. In the evening, I attended my Field Bioscience lecture and shared the news with anyone who would listen. I enjoyed talking with Diao-san about the lecture afterwards, and then I biked back to my room (in the rain, yet again). That evening, I created my own invention of eggs and battered tofu on rice, with basil, for dinner. It was delicious, but I cooked way too much and did not want it to go to waste, so ate it up! While I cooked, I listened to Obama's speech. To be honest, many of the things he said made me upset (though definitely not as upset as anything Mitt Romney could have said). For example, I do not like when anyone becomes too nationalistic--I cannot stand speeches that glorify the United States. When Obama started off his speech, references the start of the United States as a colony, I was frankly insulted. I've had quite enough of hearing of the United State's beginning spoken of so ahistorically. To reference the start of the United States in such a way is to gloss over the whole violent history of colonization. I felt it was a smack in the face to the many native nations, many of which supported Obama with their votes in this election. Why not speak with some historical justice for once? I was also saddened that environmental issues came up so few in and far in between.

Today (Thursday morning), I attended my Kanji class. I received the results of my quiz from Tuesday--49/50! I was very pleased with it, because we had so many words to learn. Immediately after class, I was to meet Koike-sensei at 10:30AM in the experimental nursery to help plant seedlings for the start of a shade tolerance/CO2 experiment. My class ends at 10:15AM, so there wasn't much time to make it there. I ran into Becca outside of the International Student Center, though, and I was so happy to see her I couldn't help but chat for a few minutes. Then I had to speed off to make it to the nursery. Because I knew there would be little time, I wore my forest work clothes to class, and felt even more like a goof ball. I made it to the nursery before Koike-sensei, right at 10:30AM. I was nervous that perhaps I was in the wrong place. But after a few minutes, I looked up to hear Koike-sensei call "Jamie-san!" cheerfully as he crossed the bridge to the nursery, wearing his bright blue rainboots. The weather in the morning was warm, and brilliantly sunny. It was so beautiful out. We had all expected rain, and so had brought rain gear, but there was no need for it. In fact, it was so warm I actually felt a little overdressed for once! There were three types of seedlings, Oak, Beech, and Maple, all only about a foot tall, with their roots wrapped in cloth. We needed 18 of each to plant in the open-air CO2 experiments. There were puddles and mud everywhere from the week's heavy rains, so I was pretty dirty by the end, but it was very fun. Although I did not truly assist much more than cutting the twine off of the seedlings and handing them around, it was nevertheless a wonderful feeling to be a part of a research experiment that I will hopefully be able to assist with long-term. Afterwards, we all carried the supplies and cloth wrappings back to the agricultural building. I never quite know what the agenda is, or when/where things are meant to end. As you may remember, the nursery is actually right behind the International House, literally a stone's throw. So after finishing planting, I had hoped to walk back to my room since it is so close to finish up some readings. However, Koike-sensei just kept on walking, never officially dismissing us, so I felt it would be rude not to help carry supplies back. After that, he still kept on walking, and I pieced together that we were headed to lunch. I was still covered in quite a bit of mud, all over my pants and boots (and as I learned later, my hat). But I certainly do enjoy and appreciate so much when Koike-sensei takes us to lunch. He is such a friendly and caring professor. I am not sure what kind of sea-creature I ate for lunch, although I have a suspicious feeling it was sting ray. Not something I necessarily had planned to eat in my life. Still, it was such lovely sunny weather, and I felt so welcomed and grateful, and enjoyed speaking as best I could in Japanese with Koike-sensei. By the time I got back to my room, it was about 2:00PM. Grey clouds were unfortunately beginning to roll in. I tried to finish a few things up, then I decided to at last take a little nap. This usually becomes a strong temptation when my room is chilly, and my blankets are warm. Then, at 4:40 I had track practice. Sometimes I feel very sluggish and lazy to leave my warm room to go out into the grey, chilly night. Still, once I just get out the door, I enjoy things greatly. It can be the same with me as far as running goes. You just have to get through the tough step of putting on the running clothes, and then you have no excuse not to head out! As I biked, the closer I got to the track, the more the corners of my mouth started to upturn into a smile. At practice, I did the sprinter workout even though it involved hurdles. As my teammates know, I have a bad relationship with hurdles. In fact, I loath them--not the jumping over them, I've never actually done that, but the "hurdle mobility" exercises. These involve lifting your legs over the hurdles, and squatting under them. I've always been ashamed of it, but I am not flexible at all. So it was also a great ordeal for me to crawl under the hurdles. Today's workout, however, only involved "mini" hurdles, and so it would not be such an ordeal--or so I thought. As it turned out, the sprinters were working on stepping extremely quickly over the mini hurdles. I've done some drills like this before, but not often, and certainly not for a long time. The first exercise involved jumping with both feet at the same time over the hurdle. I was so bad at it, it was really embarrassing. But I didn't let myself give up, even though I was dreadful at it. The next set was stepping fast over them, so fast that I couldn't even get a good glimpse of the footwork. I gradually got the hang of this, but I felt bad for my partner. We divided up into partners to watch one another and give feedback. She was very patient with me, though. Finally, we got to something I can handle--running over hurdles that are more spaced out. I felt pretty good about my runs through them, and maybe in some small way I was able to show that I do, in fact, know a little bit of what I am doing. I tried to explain that, though I try to join sprinters, coordination-wise I am not skilled enough, and this is how you can pick me out as a middle distance inclined "long sprinter" as I prefer to call myself. Still, I really do find the few girls on the team to be so friendly. And some of the guys on the team tried to encourage me when I was having a tough time with the mini hurdles. We ended with a couple 120 meter sprints--this is something I know how to do! Run! So that was a relief. Then we threw some medicine balls around. After that, I cooled down with two of the sprinters, who are both so cheery and enthusiastic. They really enjoy learning new English vocabulary from me, and of course learn so much from them as well. I am so happy to get to know them. Their friendliness and openness is a huge relief, and I cannot begin how happy it makes me feel. I hope that I can become fast again, and that I will be able to contribute to the team, and help encourage them as they have encouraged me.

P.S. In case you are wondering about how my banjo playing is coming along, I can now just about play the theme song from the Beverly Hillbillies (a great show, if you don't know of it.) Of course, I play it more slowly for the moment than the original.