Here are some things I need to get off my chest. After watching the final presidential debate, there should be literally zero doubt in your mind about who you should be voting for this election. Zero. Throughout the three debates, I have swung from appalled and terrified (whenever Trump speaks) to encouraged and affirmed (whenever Hillary speaks). And if you are thinking of voting for Gary Johnson or Jill Stein instead of Hillary Clinton, I have serious misgivings about your standards for a president and urge you to reflect on your life decisions (the word hypocrite comes to mind). If you are not planning to vote, please leave. Leave now. Because for some reason you think my life, my rights, and my dignity, along with the lives, rights, and dignities of so many others, are not valuable. There are many others who wish they had your right to vote. If you are voting for Trump, get the hell away from me.
While in all of this, I support your freedoms, I have some things to say:
I remember clearly, when I was in elementary school, seeing the sexism against Hillary Clinton. I remember clearly, as a child, walking into a store and seeing a nutcracker figurine of Hillary in a pantsuit. That is only one example. Those experiences profoundly affected me as I grew up. I questioned constantly: why was she being mocked? Why is her voice and appearance being criticized, when all I hear is a strong, intelligent woman? And I questioned also: if I strive to achieve great things, if I speak up and make myself visible, will I be mocked too? Will I be spoken over, too? Will I be judged by double-standards? Will I be ignored, when I express objections, hurt, distress, or fear for my safety? Am I of so little value? The nation has answered those questions resoundingly for me: you, young woman, will always be judged, your body debated and used against your will, your rights disregarded, your voice criticized and ignored, and your aspirations limited or trivialized. You are, indeed, of no value. Inconsequential. Whether in our sexist, racist bigotry or in our self-righteous disillusioned pettiness the nation has spoken. I have my answers.
Somehow, it is as though our country has had collective amnesia of those experiences that even I, a young woman with far more rights than my sisters and mothers before me, see and remember vividly.
Throughout this election, all of that sexism and mistreatment has come forth on a national level. I expected it. I knew that if a woman ran for president, there would be a deluge of sexism. I braced for it. Yet I also, naively, expected that it would be noticed or acknowledged early on. The past year has left me utterly sickened, and very literally depressed by the extent to which it has not been acknowledged, or dealt with. Not so much because of the scum-bags who have emerged – the deplorable (yes, deplorable) individuals who would “repeal the 19th amendment”, who call Hillary a “b****” and a “c***”, and speak with blatant misogyny. I know them. I’ve always known of them. I’ve been dealing with their sludge and threat my whole damn life. I knew what to expect of them, just as I knew that there would be racist, violent, xenophobic, Islamophobic, homophobic scum bags. I knew already what those people think of me and my worth as a human being. However, I am pissed as hell at the “good men” (and unfortunately some women too) who have been so suckered by sexism, by “liberal” self-righteousness, and outright right-wing smears that they continue to refuse (or long heretofore refused) to admit for even a moment that they have been influenced by anything other than the utmost of piety and morality. That includes people close to me. My little brother. Friends. Fellow academics. Team mates. Couldn’t possibly be ingrained sexism or unconscious bias, they say, offended and annoyed. Nope. They just couldn’t possibly stomach voting for Hillary, because, because, because…. That they were so upset and hurt that they couldn’t have Bernie Sanders and refused to move forward pragmatically, even though Hillary Clinton shares the majority of his stances. Even though a wild environmentalist, activist, borderline-socialist, feminist, scientist, artist, liberal like myself somehow has always been able to see the value in both candidates.
So, I’m pissed as hell, and betrayed. And scared as hell. Because I always suspected no one could be trusted, deep down. Not when it came down to the line. When it came down to actual jeopardy and bodily risk (risk that they think is trivial, or that I am exaggerating). Not when it came down to thinking critically, and looking at the facts. I always suspected that, in the end, there are plenty of people (usually men, usually but not always white, usually though not always middle or upper middle class) who feel that, because of their un-impugnable moral superiority, they are perfectly okay with throwing me under the bus. I am inconsequential. Unfortunate, that. Unfortunate that fear and risk we are willing to put you through.
That there are plenty of people (usually white, men and women both) who are perfectly okay with literally caring more about their “hurt feelings” and “political disappointment” than the lives and well-being of people of color, LGBTQ+ individuals, Muslims, immigrants, refugees and so many more.
They (and by "they", I mean a startling number of educated liberals and moderates) literally think that the choice between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump is a choice between two evils. Honestly, what the hell? Excuse me?
Here’s the thing: pardon my language, but at this point, I don’t give a **** that you think Hillary Clinton isn’t perfect or a good candidate. When I hear her speak, I hear her consistently bring up important, salient issues. Climate change. Women’s rights to make our own damn decisions. LGBTQ+ rights. Immigrant’s rights. Worker’s rights. Health care. Being a responsible and compassionate country and welcoming refugees. Speaking out against the wealthy and corrupt and against trickle-down economics. I hear her actually bring up implicit bias. I see that she has grown in her stances, in positive ways. I see her owning her mistakes. I see her emphasize the importance of diversity, respect, and representation of all people. I see her denounce stop and frisk, and acknowledge the racism in our criminal justice system. I see her speak against discrimination, sexism, racism, Islamophobia. I see her speak against divisiveness. Do I want her to go further and make good on her commitments? Yes! Do I want to see her do more? Yes! Do I think she’s off to a good start? Absolutely. Has she made some mistakes in the past? Sure. Do I think that she is a “crooked, lying, establishment, conservative, war-hawk…”? No, are you kidding me? Have you bothered to read her platforms? They may not be perfect, but they are pretty darn good.
I see her stand calmly beside a man who should not be trusted to be in charge of a company, in charge of other’s well-being, let alone a president. I see her calmly wait out his insults and crudeness, and respond collectedly, wittily, intelligently, eloquently. I see a woman with immense resolve, and immense drive. I see a woman who may not be perfect, but has shown an ability to grow, to listen, and to work hard. I often see a reflection of myself.
I get that you have concerns about Hillary Clinton. Some of those may be legitimate (I’d like her to take a hard line stance against fracking, and against pipelines and oil, and take broad and direct action to address and deal with racism and discrimination in this country, to clearly support and respect Native Nations and their sovereignty, and make good on her statements to take on the wealthy) But gods, I will tell you right now, if she were a man I doubt 100% that you would be doubting her so much. And if you whine one more time about her “emails” while tolerating a sexist, racist, sexual assaulting, rich, xenophobic, policing, incoherent, crude, lewd, tax-avoiding, piece of garbage, then you can leave too. Go. Go reflect on the selfishness you have conflated with morality. And if you somehow think that a presidential candidate that does not know of Aleppo and suggests not acting on global warming because the sun will one day engulf us (a la Gary Johnson) is a remotely decent alternative or even protest, then I cannot understand you, and am angered and confused by your hypocrisy. Likewise if you would rather support a candidate who possibly questions vaccines and whose economic and environmental strategies have been shown to be unrealistic (a la Jill Stein). And if you start any of your replies with “It is not because she is a woman/I’m not sexist, but I don’t like Hillary because….” then you are almost certainly influenced by sexism, much like any time you start a sentence with “Not to be racist”, you are almost certainly about to say something racist.
So please, read your facts. Get involved in pushing for the policies you believe in, especially if you don’t think those policies are being reflected or upheld. Stand up for social, racial, and environmental justice. Get involved in securing the Senate. Continue to work for what you believe in, to be vocal, and present.
And wake the hell up.
Sincerely,
A very frustrated young woman with a lot to say.
P.S. Get out and vote.